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AIBU?

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Original poster

To shriek from the rooftops that there is No Such Thing as “preferred pronouns”?

488 replies

Ddakji · 29/04/2025 13:23

That’s it.

They don’t exist - any more than preferred adjectives, adverbs or nouns exist.

Even people who don’t like them still seem to think they exist.

Language is a shared, collective endeavour that belongs to all. It’s not a pick’n’mix for individuals to choose and change at will. For words not to be garbage they have clear definitions - in this case she for females, he for males, they (singular) for sex unknown.

Saying my preferred pronouns are she/her, even if that doesn’t fly in the face of reality, is no different to saying my preferred species is human, my preferred adjectives are sporty and lush.

It’s nonsense. Nothing to do with being kind or they don’t affect me, or I don’t mind if others do but I won’t. It’s nonsense.

Let’s make 2025 the year we kick this nonsense into touch.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ddakji · 29/04/2025 13:38

owlexpress · 29/04/2025 13:34

YABU. I'm gender critical, but of course you can have preferred pronouns. Same as you can have a 'preferred name'. It might not be your actual name on your birth certificate but it also might be what you've been called since you were 2 days old. Whether someone prefers to be referred to as he or she has no bearing on you, it's very different to someone accessing a space reserved for a different sex.

ETA - so yes, you do get preferred nouns! Proper nouns.

Edited

You seem to have got your name, which belongs to you to do with as you choose, mixed up with pronouns, which don’t.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 29/04/2025 13:38

I care, preferred pronouns tell me that some people can't think for themselves and are being led like sheep.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 29/04/2025 13:37

Shegotanology · 29/04/2025 13:26

Why does it bother you what people call themselves?

The OP is about what people want others to call them, not shat they call themselves.

Original poster
Ddakji · 29/04/2025 13:37

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 29/04/2025 13:35

I like to use the word beautiful rather than pretty, but according to your post I can't have that preference as they're both adjectives?

Do you have that in your work email sign off? Do you demand that others refer to you as beautiful rather than pretty?

Are you perhaps purposefully missing the point?

OP posts:
BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 29/04/2025 13:35

I like to use the word beautiful rather than pretty, but according to your post I can't have that preference as they're both adjectives?

gildurthegreen · 29/04/2025 13:35

"Language is a shared, collective endeavour that belongs to all."

And it evolves all the time, so try not to get wound up about this. You're only upsetting yourself!

owlexpress · 29/04/2025 13:34

YABU. I'm gender critical, but of course you can have preferred pronouns. Same as you can have a 'preferred name'. It might not be your actual name on your birth certificate but it also might be what you've been called since you were 2 days old. Whether someone prefers to be referred to as he or she has no bearing on you, it's very different to someone accessing a space reserved for a different sex.

ETA - so yes, you do get preferred nouns! Proper nouns.

catlovingdoctor · 29/04/2025 13:32

We can hope

BobbyBiscuits · 29/04/2025 13:30

Arguably, there is such a thing. I'm presuming you would be insulted if someone kept calling you him/sir/a bloke?! If there was no such thing then surely it would be fine for people to call you a man?

Stellaris22 · 29/04/2025 13:29

Please do, that’ll be an entirely sane reaction to something that doesn’t affect you. But hey, why not have an over reaction to be the centre of attention and make something all about you.

(yes, I know you’re being sarcastic in your response)

I honestly don’t care if people have preferred pronouns, it’s not something I do but as an adult I’m able to respect others.

You guys ‘won’, why keep picking.

Octonaut4Life · 29/04/2025 13:28

For someone with such strong opinions on language, you don't seem to understand the meaning of the word "preferred".

araiwa · 29/04/2025 13:26

More echo chamber than rooftop

Shegotanology · 29/04/2025 13:26

Why does it bother you what people call themselves?