To shriek from the rooftops that there is No Such Thing as “preferred pronouns”?

You may have been, but that doesn't mean that the majority were.

I'm not telling you what you should do. I'm explaining my position.

Compared to the definition of sex this seems like a none issue. Of course there are preferred pronouns. I know one trans man, two trans women. All happy to use the facilities of toilets for their sex at birth.
Im happy to use the pronouns they prefer.

I don’t think there be a requirement to specify, but an option and I’ll respect that.

Nouns have changed a great deal recently to reflect women in the workplace. There used to be default Chairman, now Chairwoman, Chairperson and Chair are all used and I’d go with the preference of the person- once a woman who wanted Madam Chairman which I found a little strange but used.

Language does make a difference. As part of work I have to ask people about ethnic origin and if they agree to give it will give example - you might be White British or Asian or Asian British Chinese?
I’ll often get the answer “normal” meaning “White British/English/welsh/scottish”. As a person Asian British Indian it stings.

Why what? Why is it manners?
manners
plural noun
US

/ˈmæn·ərz/
Add to word list
ways of behaving toward people, esp. waysthat are socially correct and show respectfor their comfort and their feelings:

I've been using people's preferred language for 20+years and the LGBTQ+ community has been doing so since forever. Trans and gender queer people haven't just popped out of nowhere - maybe more visible now that there is (was) more acceptance, but it's not my friends fault that the media coverage of them has increased exponentially for the last few years. Not them who've been tweeting absolutely unremittingly, every single day and whipping up a frenzy.

I refuse to exclude.

Eh? That's exactly my point. Do you understand what preferred pronouns are or have my eloquent debating skills won you round so quickly?

Why?

If you refuse to address someone how they've asked or get it wrong on purpose, you're not 'showing' them anything but the fact you're a stubborn and difficult person for no good reason.

I've always used pronouns based on sex. So did everyone else until about five minutes ago. No one has ever even attempted to make an argument about why it's better for society at large to prioritise gender identity over sex and personally I can see huge problems for women in doing that.

So I'm not going to play along. Not because I'm trying to 'show' anyone anything, but because I see no good reason to deprioritise sex and it makes it harder for women to secure their sex based rights and safeguarding if we start addressing men as 'she'.

It’s just manners to use correct pronouns.

It’s not about what people call themselves though is it? It’s that they want to dictate to everyone else how they see them/think of them/refer to them. Compelled speech.

that is your experience - I know a teacher at a school where they accidentally used ‘she’ in the report of a non binary child. The child ‘s mother called the school and caused a massive stink. Properly calling in demanding the teacher was fired. All rather stressful for everyone and it was a genuine mistake!

@StJamesInfirmary I'm quite sure, you can call them what you like. Free speech does exist, you know.

I'm part of a large group of people who are 'pronoun people' - trans, non binary, gender queer etc. There's pronoun badges at a lot of events and sometimes a bit of a sharing circle at the beginning, especially at FLINTA hippy type things.

I usually say my pronouns are what/ever, or say 'I don't care', or more likely lately she/her as I feel like yeah, I wouldn't like to be called him!
There has been zero drama from anyone when I've said I'd rather not join in the circle/wear a badge. Zero drama when I've got a pronoun wrong as I just say sorry and correct.

It's really not that difficult, trust me. If you refuse to address someone how they've asked or get it wrong on purpose, you're not 'showing' them anything but the fact you're a stubborn and difficult person for no good reason. None of my friends would want to hang around you anyway. You'd just get shunned and we'd get back to our safe, happy lives among our gender diverse friends.

😂 the whole point is it's not what they call themselves. It what they want to be called when they are talked about. Why does it bother them what I'm saying when they're not even there? Moreover, who on earth bestowed the right on them to dictate what I say when they aren't there?!

I’m asking why that very emotive phrase is only ever used in this context! It is a very manipulative phrase particularly against women who tend to be more people pleasers than men

So?

But they never use the phrase ‘be kind’

@Hadalifeonce I imagine you understand perfectly well what I mean.

Exactly! Why are we women having to bend over backwards for this?

I will say it again, no person in a famine stricken country right now or someone oppressed because of their skin colour or sexual orientation is wailing about not being called he/she.

its a pampered middle class disease.

Go hang out on any of the threads about income/lifestyle anyone earning over 10k who isn't in devout poverty is lambasted for not giving all their wealth to charity because they're just lucky and everyone else isn't as fortunate!

Why do you keep banging on about "protecting your own mental health" and "being depressed/suicidal in the past" as if using someones preferred pronouns would make you suicidal?

But no one has still not answered why it isn’t unkind to not offer to give all your salary away to some one who is in greater need? Why are people able to say no I can’t do that and not be accused of not being kind but in the situation where you just don’t feel comfortable using preferred pronouns are people quick to point out they are not kind.

Sure and they can call themselves what they want. I'm not prepared to do it though. I just ignore and carry on. We all get hurt feelings and offended but as adults we learn to accept that it is part of life.

I don't care what tantrums the TRAs throw , a tantrum is a tantrum. It has no power over me at all.

That’s not very kind at all!

My preferred name is ScaryMonsi. It’s not my formally defined name, but it is my preferred one. It’s the one I’ll introduce myself with. It’s the one on my work email address. It’s the one in my signature, and if you want a response it’s the one you’ll need to use. I’ve not been referred to as anything else for a long time and genuinely just don’t hear the Monster version as applying to me.

That “Pronouns are Rohypnol” piece is an inexcusable offence to the many thousands of women who’ve had drinks spiked.

It’s a repellent piece of inflammatory anti-trans propaganda, setting the request to be referred to by a particular pronoun as equivalent to drugging a woman in order to rape her.

It originated in mumsnets own “feminism” board, written by a now-banned poster. Mn admins used to delete that link as breaking TGs but they seem to have given up against a tide of repetition from FWR regulars determined to keep sharing it.

Anyone who thinks pronoun requests are in any way adjacent to date rape drugs is seriously in need of a head wobble.