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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hand hold please

95 replies

NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 09:00

I'm really struggling.

OP posts:
KnittyNell · 29/04/2025 23:31

OP, you mention the intrusive thoughts alongside the depression and anxiety; my daughter is only 37 so no menopause connection yet but she has suffered from severe intrusive thoughts for years and was diagnosed with a form of OCD, called Pure O.
Her life was hell and I was very scared that she might end up being sectioned at one point but she’s doing amazingly well now.
She was prescribed an antidepressant tailored for OCD along with therapy and it changed her life.
If you are interested I can ask her for more information. She even volunteers to help others who suffer this as she knows just how bad it is.
Of course I’m not saying this is what you have but it sounds so very familiar.

MadBlack · 29/04/2025 23:28

You dont want to accept any advice though?

Missj25 · 29/04/2025 23:20

NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:41

I haven't tried it yet but some ladies have told me it hasn't helped them with anxiety x

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Yes , it doesn’t help some , but more it does …
It’s like everything,
You should definitely try it OP ..

Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:58

Movinghouseatlast · 29/04/2025 17:56

Nothing you have tried so far contains oestrogen, and lack of oestrogen is what is causing your symptoms. Give it a try,you can always stop if you don't like it

Thank you so much for all your support, reassurance and kind words 🙏 I will try HRT x

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:55

Barney16 · 29/04/2025 22:40

Before I took hrt I couldn't get out of bed I was so depressed. If I did drag myself out if bed I very quickly got back in it. Hrt completely changed that. No more anxiety or panic attacks. Go to the GP and discuss it and if you don't get anywhere and you can afford it go private.

Thank you so much for your message and kind words and reassurance 🙏 I will try the HRT. Please pray for me 🙏
I'm so happy to hear you are feeling better now. God bless you x

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:52

heldinadream · 29/04/2025 10:07

Sending a hand hold and a hug @NewPlumCat and some flowers. 💐

Thank you so much for your kind words and all your support 🙏
God bless you x

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:51

Smallmercies · 29/04/2025 22:45

You post about this a lot, OP - what does your GP say? Have you followed any of their advice?

Hi, thank you for your message. My GP really put me off and told me not to go on HRT as there was risks if I used it, and then another GP at the surgery yold me the same thing. They advised me to get menopause supplements from H&B which I did use for nearly a year but They didn't help. They sent me for counselling a few times but that hasn't helped either x

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:47

Movinghouseatlast · 29/04/2025 17:53

Would you try HRT? My main symptoms were anxiety and depression and HRT cured them within 3 weeks.

My sister was so bad that she was sectioned. HRT again removed all her symptoms and she is happy now.

Thank you for your kind message and all your support. I will give it a go x

OP posts:
Smallmercies · 29/04/2025 22:45

You post about this a lot, OP - what does your GP say? Have you followed any of their advice?

Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:44

Itsjustnotthevibe · 29/04/2025 10:34

You posted the other day about being worried about trying HRT. Please reconsider, see your GP and ask for it. Is it really worth living like this because you are worried about the very small risks that the medication may bring? Surely it is better to try than resign yourself to being miserable?

Thank you for your message and kind words. Yes I am very anxious to try it. I can't live like this x

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:41

Queenfreak · 29/04/2025 10:23

Are you open to trying hrt?

I haven't tried it yet but some ladies have told me it hasn't helped them with anxiety x

OP posts:
Barney16 · 29/04/2025 22:40

Before I took hrt I couldn't get out of bed I was so depressed. If I did drag myself out if bed I very quickly got back in it. Hrt completely changed that. No more anxiety or panic attacks. Go to the GP and discuss it and if you don't get anywhere and you can afford it go private.

Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:39

AliBaliBee1234 · 29/04/2025 09:14

Can we help? xx

Thank you for asking x
God bless you 🙏

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:38

Missj25 · 29/04/2025 09:21

Ahh OP ..
What’s the matter ..
We might be able to help you , hope we can ❤️

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Thank you for your message and kind words. God bless you x

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:36

JojoM1981 · 29/04/2025 09:11

I'm here. Feel free to pm xx

Thank you so much xx

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:35

Movinghouseatlast · 29/04/2025 19:45

Yes, it is awful. I think if you haven't tried HRT you should give it a go.

Thank you. But some ladies are saying they've tried HRT and ut hasn't helped them with the anxiety x

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 22:33

Missj25 · 29/04/2025 20:03

I have bad days & good days ..
Morning , I find always the worst , but out of the bed as quickly as possible, staying in bed makes me feel much worse if I wake & don’t feel happy .. I exercise & I find once I go to work aswel I feel better ..
I am on hrt patches , they don’t help with anxiety, but I don’t get hot flushes , I’m sure that’s down to them ..
Also , once the spring/ summer weather

comes, I seen to perk up aswel ..
It’s like a rollercoaster ride for me …🤷🏻‍♀️

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I really feel for you. I hope you feel better very soon and the anxiety goes away 🙏 God bless you 🙏

OP posts:
Missj25 · 29/04/2025 20:03

NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 17:50

Hi, thank you for your message and I'm so sorry to hear your feeling the same. Has there been any improvement in your health so far? You said your not on HRT or antidepressants then how are you managing? I really feel for you 🙏 God bless you 🙏

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I have bad days & good days ..
Morning , I find always the worst , but out of the bed as quickly as possible, staying in bed makes me feel much worse if I wake & don’t feel happy .. I exercise & I find once I go to work aswel I feel better ..
I am on hrt patches , they don’t help with anxiety, but I don’t get hot flushes , I’m sure that’s down to them ..
Also , once the spring/ summer weather

comes, I seen to perk up aswel ..
It’s like a rollercoaster ride for me …🤷🏻‍♀️

Movinghouseatlast · 29/04/2025 19:45

Yes, it is awful. I think if you haven't tried HRT you should give it a go.

Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 18:00

mbosnz · 29/04/2025 10:37

Menopause truly sucks, doesn't it OP? I truly sympathise. I'm on menopace and sertraline, and I'm lucky they help. But the weight gain, the night sweats, the mood swings, the insomnia. . .! Sheese! Can't us women just catch one lousy, measly, little break?! And the aches and pains. All the aches and pains.

It's that tiny bit easier when the weather is nice, and I go for a walk.

Hang in there. . .

Thank you for your message, yes it really does suck. If only I knew about it and if somebody had warned me about it, I would have known what to expect. Its made my life very miserable that I had to even leave my job. I always worked and loved my job despite it was very hard. I use to love waking up in the morning and looking forward to the day but now I don't even want to face the day. I don't want to dress up or even have a bath or shower. I have to really push myself to do the very simplest tasks. My house is a complete mess. I have no motivation at all. I can't be happy and I'm always on the edge, and get the impending doom feeling. It's awful x

OP posts:
Movinghouseatlast · 29/04/2025 17:56

Nothing you have tried so far contains oestrogen, and lack of oestrogen is what is causing your symptoms. Give it a try,you can always stop if you don't like it

Movinghouseatlast · 29/04/2025 17:53

Would you try HRT? My main symptoms were anxiety and depression and HRT cured them within 3 weeks.

My sister was so bad that she was sectioned. HRT again removed all her symptoms and she is happy now.

Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 17:53

Ihopeyouhavent · 29/04/2025 10:38

Get yourself on HRT! Changed my life.

Thank you for your message and I'm so happy to hear your feeling better and HRT has helped you. But I don't know if it will do the same for me as my symptoms are so severe and no matter what I take it doesn't help x

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 17:50

Missj25 · 29/04/2025 13:33

Hey guys , I went on antidepressants also for a while & they made me feel worse aswel ..
I was told it’s trial & error with them , that you have to keep trying til you find the right one , i couldn’t put myself through that !!
So I just never bothered with anything like that again ..

OP you haven’t tried hrt.
I don’t find it much help , but I see there , others find it a God Sent ..
You won’t always feel like this OP ..
Pick up the phone & ask for some help … Xx

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Hi, thank you for your message and I'm so sorry to hear your feeling the same. Has there been any improvement in your health so far? You said your not on HRT or antidepressants then how are you managing? I really feel for you 🙏 God bless you 🙏

OP posts:
Original poster
NewPlumCat · 29/04/2025 17:48

MyKingdomForACat · 29/04/2025 10:38

What are your worst symptoms? Sertraline isn’t for everyone but there are other antidepressants. I take citalopram xx

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Hi. My worst symptoms are anxiety and depression and I get really horrible intrusive thought's. I don't think anything will help me. They are very severely symptoms as well x

OP posts: