Offended by friend’s comments about party food

YABU for forgetting the larks' tongues in aspic, OP.

I can't say I'd be happy with that spread either (or the equivalent M&S option!), but it was very rude of your friend and her child to make their disappointment obvious and to say they'd be eating elsewhere after leaving your place.

Just seen your update. People like that make me laugh.
I bet if she hadn't seen the boxes, or knew they were from Iceland, she wouldn't have known any different from Marks and Spencers or wherever.
She's just a raging snob.

This is hilarious, it’s all made ‘fresh’ by the same round of suppliers to each supermarket’s spec but then some is frozen some isn’t.
She’s not the brightest bulb by the sounds of things if she thinks there’s anything superior quality wise about an M&S nugget 🤣🤣🤣

If you don’t like what’s there, and there’s nothing in the house for dinner when you get home, McDonald’s is the quick and easy option on the way home, if you like McDonald’s.

I don’t think this was a thing of principle, it’s no deeper than the child genuinely didn’t like the food.

However, OP, if this was me I would have just addressed it at the time and said ‘sorry, little Johnny doesn’t like the food (eye roll, apologetic look) - he’s so fussy. I’m going to have to promise him a McDonald’s on the way home or none of us will hear the end of his hunger to be able to enjoy the game’. Instead she’s tried to be more discreet but has in doing so been far less discreet and upset you more.

Sometimes these things happen. You can’t force feed a child and you also don’t want your hungry child to spoil the event. A hungry adult can just suck it up, a hungry child can’t.

Lots of fuss about not very much in my opinion!

It's nibbles with the footy on, not one of Hyacinth's candle lit suppers 😂
As if all these comments asking if there's anything fresh as well, (salads etc) and saying "that's not party food, to me party food is Parma ham etc....."
Even if it's not to a person's liking, it's so rude to comment and moan on it and say you're off to McDonald's afterwards in earshot of the host.

Those mini frozen pizzas do not taste like a ‘normal’ pizza, sorry! They’re pretty vile. They don’t even taste like normal frozen pizzas.

Again, just my opinion, and I would have been tactful, but I wouldn’t and couldn’t have eaten this food and I don’t think it’s fair to force feed a child something they genuinely don’t like.

You're right, it doesn't make much sense to me in this case, because the solution was to go to McDonald's on the way home. However, I know food issues are not rational and have a lot to do with emotion and anxiety about the unfamiliar, so I suppose McDonald's might be a safe food for this kid because it's always the same. I had a child like that (he eats anything now, so there is hope). Still rude of the parent not to forewarn and not to explain to her host, though.

I'm sorry about your Nan. Fortunately for our family, my grandpa was a gardener, so we always had lots of vegetables because that was what my Mum had grown up with. The women of my family were great soupmakers, using lentils, split peas, barley and so on, so our diet was nothing like as bad as some, but there was an awful lot of saturated fat, salt, white sugar and flour, and not that much fruit, because fruit was expensive in the shops. So much is genetic. And it doesn't change my view that one meal of mostly beige mostly processed food is not the end of the world, and a parent who doesn't teach good manners is doing her/his child a great disservice.

Absolutely. Good to see us Brits still have that Dunkirk spirit, what? 😆

The next time she wants a buffet, she can pay for it..from M&S. Sorted.

I don’t think it’s necessarily the been frozen first that’s the issue, she’s probably oversimplified that. It is more likely the level of UPF involved and how that impacts the taste.

And again, I’m not anti UPF on principle - husband and one child would eat that food, me and other wouldn’t. We wouldn’t like it. The fresh versions do taste different, due to the levels of processing. I wouldn’t eat either but there is certainly a taste disparity.

Unless you are a fussy eater, it won’t make sense to you. If I said this to my husband he would think I’m crazy. But to me, I get what the child means!

Iceland sausage rolls and Spring Rolls are nicer than Marksies even their goujons are just as good.

She had mini pizzas there. Not the same as getting Domino's in, of course, but not a million miles off.

I called it! Knew she wanted M&S 🤣

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g my Nan was Scottish. She ate crap and died young. As for farmers? I’m married to one so spare me the lecture

She did check, if you look at all her posts. She didn't spell out that the food was coming from Iceland would be cooked from frozen. If that was a dealbreaker for one of the children, the visiting parent should have mentioned it. It would never occur to me to specify that food I was serving up had spent some time in the freezer before making it into the oven.

FWIW, going forwards a solid go to is always pizza! Cheese and pepperoni options, unless anyone has allergies, have never failed us.

Not particularly imaginative, but almost universally appreciated! Your options are more niche, everyone (sane) likes pizza…

Yep, same here (great username, btw).

@PinkyFlamingo why would you assume that?

It was a few friends to watch football not a huge party! I'm sure OP would know if her friend and kids ate meat or not 😂

I think something you’re missing because you’re offended though, is that some people cannot choke down something they don’t like to be polite (I’m one of them. I couldn’t eat what you served if my life depended on it). As an adult, I just wouldn’t be hungry, and would just have a drink. I don’t like pastries, sausage rolls etc.

But children aren’t adults, they’re children. Being hungry isn’t something they can just brush aside endlessly in the name of manners. With your update that the child didn’t like the food at all, I would say it’s more likely she didn’t have dinner in as expected them all to be fed, and was flustered because she now needed to feed him, and quickly - because he needed to be fed.

He doesn't like cooked from frozen food, irrespective of where it’s from. She knew that. She had to feed him somehow and also had to acknowledge his hunger and reassure him he was going to have something to eat.

A flip side would be you could have/should have checked that everyone would eat at least something you were offering - not doing so may be seen as rude. Some of this is perception and intention. The fact she apologised to you and immediately addressed this as soon as she saw you suggests she wasn’t intentionally being rude.

Nor were you being intentionally rude by serving food one of them didn’t like. It’s just one of those things.

OP has not mentioned what sort of budget she's on, but you do understand that many people can't afford expensive food, don't you? You have heard of the cost of living crisis?

Or a Pride of Britain award.

I thought maybe they would find it unhealthy.

But to go to Maccas afterwards makes no sense.