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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed up of neighbours side door always open!!!

216 replies

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:40

This is the 4th summer we’ve lived in our bungalow now and I am really fed up of listening to the elderly couple next door’s noise.
they have their kitchen door open for 6 months a year and they seem to spend 90% of their day in the kitchen. They are both nearly 80 but they seem to have rediculous amounts of energy and barely sit still, the phone is always ringing, they shout down the phone when talking to people. The radio and Tv is on loud and it’s bloody annoying!!
the problem is they are very nice people but they are pissing me off because in my opinion it is inconsiderate but they clearly don’t think it’s unusual to hear neighbour noise all summer long. We bought a detached house thinking we would hear less of our neighbours but with these people we hear them more.
The thing is they probably wouldn’t mind listening to us all day but that doesn’t make me comfortable with it.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Sulu17 · 28/04/2025 18:08

After reading your update OP they sound absolutely dreadful! I like my privacy and anonymity and it would really bother me if I were being watched and approached by my neighbours. I also wonder if they are now being 'performative' neighbours as someone else has alluded to, I think. In other words, doing it all to gain your attention, since you are refusing (rightly) to engage with them very much. Do you think they are in the early stages of dementia or something?

Sofiewoo · 28/04/2025 18:07

BankHolidayBonanza · 28/04/2025 17:59

my neighbours are living a perfectly normal life. I can't hear their tv, their phone ringing or their phone conversation because they are not twats and respect others.

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If you can’t hear their phone ringing it suggests you have a greater distance between the houses.

Katemax82 · 28/04/2025 18:05

Wishywashylaundry · 28/04/2025 17:47

60 years old is not that old surely?!

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That's the point

Windsorlady · 28/04/2025 18:02

I would enjoy it...you may in the future have neighbours that are less
amienable xxx

faerietales · 28/04/2025 18:02

BankHolidayBonanza · 28/04/2025 17:53

It's not. When you have neighbours, you show basic manners and decency.

People with your attitude are awful neighbours!

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What's lacking in decency about answering the phone and spending time on your own property?

I'm so glad MN doesn't reflect real life when it comes to people using their gardens.

MyKingdomForACat · 28/04/2025 18:02

I can never fathom why people want the neighbours to hear their every move. Lives played out in public. Don’t get it. Go in. Shut the door ffs

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 18:01

BankHolidayBonanza · 28/04/2025 17:59

my neighbours are living a perfectly normal life. I can't hear their tv, their phone ringing or their phone conversation because they are not twats and respect others.

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How could these people be twats because op can hear their phone ringing?
Either she has astoundingly sharp hearing it she’s deliberately hovering close to their door.

Hollyhedge · 28/04/2025 18:01

I hear you. My neighbours got a side return. Doors open April onwards. Hear everything in kitchen. So noisy and annoying and constant. We have no grounds for anything as it is ‘normal living noise at not anti social hours. Can you put your own radio on low or something just enough to block the noise?

DiamondEyes976 · 28/04/2025 18:01

My inlaws are the loveliest people ever, both in their early 80’s, but my god I wouldn’t want to be their neighbour. Their tv is on full blast and they yell down the phone. They don’t even realise how loud they are.

Original poster
exceptionale · 28/04/2025 18:01

I haven’t spoken to them about it because we’ve already dealt with some other issues and I really don’t feel I can complain about this. The first issue was the man calling to us whenever we went in the garden and waiting for us to come home from work every day so he could talk to us. If we were leaving the house and they heard us locking up they would appear out the front instantly asking where we were going. When I fell pregnant they were constantly asking when it was due and laughing at my bump (I’m very slim so it looked like a bowling ball) but I didn’t like being laughed at every time I saw them. So we have already sorted these issues by having a very busy edge and not stopping to chat for an hour at a time, like they would like.
The fact they are noisy and busy seems small fry but it still pisses me off.

OP posts:
GeorgianaM · 28/04/2025 18:01

Whilst there are fence height restrictions I don't think there are regarding hedges so perhaps grow something along that side which will act as a sound barrier.

They aren't doing anything wrong.

Sulu17 · 28/04/2025 18:00

I think I would go with the hedging idea, or trellis or very tall hedge things in pots. Do you have parallel doors op? Is your side door always open too?

BankHolidayBonanza · 28/04/2025 17:59

Sofiewoo · 28/04/2025 17:55

OP is annoyed when their phone rings for god sake!
living a normal life isn’t lacking decency or manners.

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my neighbours are living a perfectly normal life. I can't hear their tv, their phone ringing or their phone conversation because they are not twats and respect others.

BakelikeBertha · 28/04/2025 17:58

Do you realise what a misery guts you sound OP? These people are elderly, they're living their lives, and you want them to slow down and become miserable like you? Glad you're not my neighbour!

ilovesooty · 28/04/2025 17:58

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:49

They’re nearly 80. Crazy energy and I’m wondering when they’ll slow down which will improve my summers immensely!

Edited

What a shame they're not sufficiently geriatric for you. If you live in a detached property I don't see how the noise can be so terrible if your door is closed. Couldn't you just ask them to keep it down a bit? They're probably hard of hearing and don't realise how noisy they are.

GoodVibesHere · 28/04/2025 17:56

Could you plant a bit of hedging to create a sound barrier?

Sofiewoo · 28/04/2025 17:55

BankHolidayBonanza · 28/04/2025 17:53

It's not. When you have neighbours, you show basic manners and decency.

People with your attitude are awful neighbours!

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OP is annoyed when their phone rings for god sake!
living a normal life isn’t lacking decency or manners.

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 17:55

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:49

They’re nearly 80. Crazy energy and I’m wondering when they’ll slow down which will improve my summers immensely!

Edited

When they eventually move on you might get someone living there with a load of kids, playing football and jumping on trampolines all day long.
Be careful what you wish for.

EmeraldRoulette · 28/04/2025 17:55

@exceptionale dare I ask if you have talked to them about it?

though FGS don't tell them to have less energy!

Jackrussellsaremad · 28/04/2025 17:54

Can you just hang over the fence and listen in to their phone calls? And then do a running commentary and shout out the bits you agree with. Join in their conversation a bit and give a few of your own opinions. They will soon shut the doors.

BankHolidayBonanza · 28/04/2025 17:53

Sofiewoo · 28/04/2025 17:51

They’re talking, answering the phone and watching tv. This is a you problem.

It's not. When you have neighbours, you show basic manners and decency.

People with your attitude are awful neighbours!

MoreChocPls · 28/04/2025 17:53

Do the same!!

BankHolidayBonanza · 28/04/2025 17:52

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:41

AI also BU to question when people that age tend to slow down a bit? Stay inside more? Feel the cold more? They’re like 60 year olds!

80 year old are older, not ancient. They tend to spend more time outside and pottering around unfortunately. Younger people have busy lives and not time to waste gardening or listening to the radio all day.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 28/04/2025 17:51

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:41

AI also BU to question when people that age tend to slow down a bit? Stay inside more? Feel the cold more? They’re like 60 year olds!

Usually when they get to their mid eighties, but even then plenty of people are still going strong and perfectly independent. The chances are by the time they are in their mid 90s they will slow down though. :)