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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed up of neighbours side door always open!!!

216 replies

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:40

This is the 4th summer we’ve lived in our bungalow now and I am really fed up of listening to the elderly couple next door’s noise.
they have their kitchen door open for 6 months a year and they seem to spend 90% of their day in the kitchen. They are both nearly 80 but they seem to have rediculous amounts of energy and barely sit still, the phone is always ringing, they shout down the phone when talking to people. The radio and Tv is on loud and it’s bloody annoying!!
the problem is they are very nice people but they are pissing me off because in my opinion it is inconsiderate but they clearly don’t think it’s unusual to hear neighbour noise all summer long. We bought a detached house thinking we would hear less of our neighbours but with these people we hear them more.
The thing is they probably wouldn’t mind listening to us all day but that doesn’t make me comfortable with it.
AIBU?

OP posts:
BusySquid · 28/04/2025 18:28

I find it a little odd that you're policing their behaviour in their own home. If they are in their kitchen 90% of the time then I'm assuming 90% of your day is spent watching and listening to them...

pizzaHeart · 28/04/2025 18:28

I feel your pain. One of them or both of them obviously have unaddressed hearing problems.

Giselle12 · 28/04/2025 18:27

LittleBigHead · 28/04/2025 18:25

YABU.

and what does this funny ugly word mean?

Booboobagins · 28/04/2025 18:27

Baroque music is best to keep people calm @exceptionale so if you want them to take it down a notch tears what I'd play. If you want them to suffer what you are, then heavy metal, club sounds or heavy reggae normally does it for the older generation.

Giselle12 · 28/04/2025 18:25

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:40

This is the 4th summer we’ve lived in our bungalow now and I am really fed up of listening to the elderly couple next door’s noise.
they have their kitchen door open for 6 months a year and they seem to spend 90% of their day in the kitchen. They are both nearly 80 but they seem to have rediculous amounts of energy and barely sit still, the phone is always ringing, they shout down the phone when talking to people. The radio and Tv is on loud and it’s bloody annoying!!
the problem is they are very nice people but they are pissing me off because in my opinion it is inconsiderate but they clearly don’t think it’s unusual to hear neighbour noise all summer long. We bought a detached house thinking we would hear less of our neighbours but with these people we hear them more.
The thing is they probably wouldn’t mind listening to us all day but that doesn’t make me comfortable with it.
AIBU?

Haha, this reminds me of our neighbours. Their side door also connects to the kitchen and is always open. Their dog likes to go in and out through there. The difference perhaps is that we keep our door closed so we don't hear anything.

Do you have your door / windows open as well? Walls are usually great insulators

LittleBigHead · 28/04/2025 18:25

YABU.

Crazysunsetdramaqueen · 28/04/2025 18:22

ilovesooty · 28/04/2025 17:58

What a shame they're not sufficiently geriatric for you. If you live in a detached property I don't see how the noise can be so terrible if your door is closed. Couldn't you just ask them to keep it down a bit? They're probably hard of hearing and don't realise how noisy they are.

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A lot of detached properties aren't really detached, they're so close together, they may as well be semi. I wonder if this is op's situation.

BumbleBeegu · 28/04/2025 18:20

Jesus! I’m 60 and still work a 70 hour week as a primary school deputy head! Not a chance in hell I’ve ‘slowed down’ (any teachers on here will corroborate this 😬).

60 isn’t old. My joints may let me down occasionally (knees, I’m talking to you!!) but the rest of me is still working my bloody arse off 😬 Roll on retirement…at 67 🤯🥴

Your neighbours do sound oblivious to their noise though…maybe have a gentle word? 🤷‍♀️ However, it does just sound like something you might just have to file under ‘living next door’ to be honest.

minnienono · 28/04/2025 18:19

From the later post op it seems you need to live in the middle of nowhere, friendly neighbours annoy you it seems.

they are just ordinary people, my door has been open since I got home too, can’t see the problem

Hobnobswantshernameback · 28/04/2025 18:17

Imagine being fit and active in your 80s
but hey they must be "developing something "
ye gods
Its not them hun

Crazysunsetdramaqueen · 28/04/2025 18:16

Tell me about it. Ours have a huge garden, bigger than ours, yet take comfort in sandwiching themselves against the fence. It is quite funny really as literally everything is there in a line, giant parasol and all. One of them is like bloody creeping Jesus as well, you'll be having a quiet chat, think nobody is there than bang they've been listening all along. Be pleased yours are at least in their own house op! 😂
Do you have a low fence inbetween? I honestly think people in general are just so unaware of their own noise, no matter their age tbh.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 28/04/2025 18:16

Will people stop with the casual ageism and the "might they have dementia" crap
its beyond fucking tedious

TimeForATerf · 28/04/2025 18:15

I suspect this will be DH in years to come. We’re 59, I can see him still playing Anarchy in the UK by the Sex Pistols on top volume on his Sonos sound system with the doors open.

I will of course not be there as noise is pollution to me, you have my sympathy OP. I will of course, be in a tiny cottage in the middle in the Dales with just the sound of songbirds and maybe sheep bleating.

frozendaisy · 28/04/2025 18:15

They don’t sound like the worse neighbours in the world to be honest OP.

LillyPJ · 28/04/2025 18:14

Their age is irrelevant. Tell them, nicely, that their noise disturbs you. They might not be aware of it. Then if they don't change, you'll have to either resort to earplugs or turn your radio up.

Newmumhere40 · 28/04/2025 18:13

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 18:11

Jesus Christ!!

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People really are nuts eh?!

Newmumhere40 · 28/04/2025 18:12

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:44

The best advice ever on mumsnet!

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Alpine are AMAZING 😎

UndermyShoeJoe · 28/04/2025 18:12

Imagine hating your neighbours having a conversation in their house near their own garden.

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 18:11

Sulu17 · 28/04/2025 18:08

After reading your update OP they sound absolutely dreadful! I like my privacy and anonymity and it would really bother me if I were being watched and approached by my neighbours. I also wonder if they are now being 'performative' neighbours as someone else has alluded to, I think. In other words, doing it all to gain your attention, since you are refusing (rightly) to engage with them very much. Do you think they are in the early stages of dementia or something?

Jesus Christ!!

Hollyhedge · 28/04/2025 18:11

MyKingdomForACat · 28/04/2025 18:02

I can never fathom why people want the neighbours to hear their every move. Lives played out in public. Don’t get it. Go in. Shut the door ffs

Exactly I don’t want the loud ins and outs of your life. Please

Original poster
exceptionale · 28/04/2025 18:10

I believe the man might be developing something. He is 80 this year. He seems unable to sit still, like totally unable, even if he has a fall and the doctors advises him to rest, he won’t be able to stop himself moving around all day every day.
I do also think he is a bit angry we shunned him and so he’s constantly acting like “hello I’m here” type thing.

OP posts:
Mrsknowitall · 28/04/2025 18:10

Are you having a laugh regarding their age? So because they are 80 should they be sitting in front of the tv knitting and reading subtitles so not to piss you off 🙄

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 18:10

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 18:01

I haven’t spoken to them about it because we’ve already dealt with some other issues and I really don’t feel I can complain about this. The first issue was the man calling to us whenever we went in the garden and waiting for us to come home from work every day so he could talk to us. If we were leaving the house and they heard us locking up they would appear out the front instantly asking where we were going. When I fell pregnant they were constantly asking when it was due and laughing at my bump (I’m very slim so it looked like a bowling ball) but I didn’t like being laughed at every time I saw them. So we have already sorted these issues by having a very busy edge and not stopping to chat for an hour at a time, like they would like.
The fact they are noisy and busy seems small fry but it still pisses me off.

And yet you led with “we can hear their phone ringing”, and only drip fed this lot when it didn’t get much traction? 🙄

Kardamyli2 · 28/04/2025 18:10

Buy an air horn and give them a blast every time they're too noisy. If they complain about the noise tell them you can hear everything they say and do when their door is open.

Hollyhedge · 28/04/2025 18:09

I hear you. My neighbours got a side return. Doors open April onwards. Hear everything in kitchen. So noisy and annoying and constant. We have no grounds for anything as it is ‘normal living noise at not anti social hours. Can you put your own radio on low or something just enough to block the noise?