Page 4 | Fed up of neighbours side door always open!!!

exceptionale · 2025-04-28T16:40:15+00:00

This is the 4th summer we’ve lived in our bungalow now and I am really fed up of listening to the elderly couple next door’s noise. they have their kitchen door open for 6 months a year and they seem to spend 90% of their day in the kitchen. They are both nearly 80 but they seem to have rediculous amounts of energy and barely sit still, the phone is always ringing, they shout down the phone when talking to people. The radio and Tv is on loud and it’s bloody annoying!! the problem is they are very nice people but they are pissing me off because in my opinion it is inconsiderate but they clearly don’t think it’s unusual to hear neighbour noise all summer long. We bought a detached house thinking we would hear less of our neighbours but with these people we hear them more. The thing is they probably wouldn’t mind listening to us all day but that doesn’t make me comfortable with it. AIBU?

LeavesTrees · 28/04/2025 20:21

@exceptionale

I feel they are inconsiderate and as awful as it sounds to wish them to slow down I know this will really improve things for us. Their prescience is felt too much by us, we didn’t buy the house thinking we would have to deal with this.

That is such a selfish thing to say. Think about what you are wishing on them - you are wishing that their quality of life will decline, which ultimately will lead to their death, just so you can’t hear them living their lives.

And what about your baby/toddler and the impact on your neighbours?? I’m yet to hear one that never cries etc.

I bet they wish YOU never moved in.

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 28/04/2025 20:16

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 20:07

Their motivation in life is not to “slow down” or go into cognitive decline to make life easier for you.
Your post is quite honestly breathtakingly self absorbed.
Fascinating, actually. You literally have no idea how you come across.

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Im with you. That post genuinely made me think this thread was a reverse or made up for a minute.

Ontobetterthings · 28/04/2025 20:14

We have neighbours like the OP. If they see us they rush in their house as cannot be arsed to say a hello or pretend not to see you. Very rude neighbours with no social skills. If they are that bothered live in the middle of nowhere.

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 28/04/2025 20:12

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 19:52

Op hasn’t said she suffers from any such thing.
Maybe stop making it all about you and step away if you’re reading anything you can’t handle?
Like a grownup?

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You’re being unnecessary rude and hostile, @KilkennyCats. The comment was basically jeering at people who have problems with noise. Whether misophonia is involved or not, that’s really unacceptable.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 28/04/2025 20:07

We will all be old one day
Unless we die
Ageing is guaranteed
I hope I'm a lively active older person who enjoys good health.
Better than being a mean spirited twat I suppose

SuperTrooper14 · 28/04/2025 20:07

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 20:00

No our door is not open but we hear them when the windows are open and when coming and going through our front door. The bungalows are mirror image but ours is set back slightly so our front door is opposite their kitchen door and our kitchen door is a bit further back from their kitchen door if that makes sense.

I agree they’re obviously hard of hearing and they have been here 11 years before we moved in so they have got very used to acting the way they do (the old guy in this house before us was on his own and glued to his chair from what they’ve told us).
We are not silent by any means but we do not open ourselves up for them to hear all our conversations and phone calls.
I feel they are inconsiderate and as awful as it sounds to wish them to slow down I know this will really improve things for us. Their prescience is felt too much by us, we didn’t buy the house thinking we would have to deal with this.

Okay, just say they "slow down", whatever that's supposed to mean. Does that mean they'll stop taking phone calls? Stop having the radio on? Stop opening the windows? Of course not. My nan was in her nineties when she died and so hard of hearing that when she answered a call she sounded like Dom Joly's "I'M ON THE PHONE" character on steroids. Meanwhile she had a steady stream of carers coming to the house who had to talk at the top of their voices so she could hear them properly. So be careful what you wish for. 😂

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 20:07

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 20:00

No our door is not open but we hear them when the windows are open and when coming and going through our front door. The bungalows are mirror image but ours is set back slightly so our front door is opposite their kitchen door and our kitchen door is a bit further back from their kitchen door if that makes sense.

I agree they’re obviously hard of hearing and they have been here 11 years before we moved in so they have got very used to acting the way they do (the old guy in this house before us was on his own and glued to his chair from what they’ve told us).
We are not silent by any means but we do not open ourselves up for them to hear all our conversations and phone calls.
I feel they are inconsiderate and as awful as it sounds to wish them to slow down I know this will really improve things for us. Their prescience is felt too much by us, we didn’t buy the house thinking we would have to deal with this.

Their motivation in life is not to “slow down” or go into cognitive decline to make life easier for you.
Your post is quite honestly breathtakingly self absorbed.
Fascinating, actually. You literally have no idea how you come across.

Lorlorlorikeet · 28/04/2025 20:07

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:49

They’re nearly 80. Crazy energy and I’m wondering when they’ll slow down which will improve my summers immensely!

Edited

That is a really shit thing to say.

And it’s still spring, it’s not summer yet.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 28/04/2025 20:06

Well if they have prescience, they would know you were going to start a nasty, mean-spirited, ageist thread on MN and I hope are planning to create a skiffle band with a couple of other octagarians, plenty of pans and a yowling dog for harmonics.

UndermyShoeJoe · 28/04/2025 20:02

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 20:00

No our door is not open but we hear them when the windows are open and when coming and going through our front door. The bungalows are mirror image but ours is set back slightly so our front door is opposite their kitchen door and our kitchen door is a bit further back from their kitchen door if that makes sense.

I agree they’re obviously hard of hearing and they have been here 11 years before we moved in so they have got very used to acting the way they do (the old guy in this house before us was on his own and glued to his chair from what they’ve told us).
We are not silent by any means but we do not open ourselves up for them to hear all our conversations and phone calls.
I feel they are inconsiderate and as awful as it sounds to wish them to slow down I know this will really improve things for us. Their prescience is felt too much by us, we didn’t buy the house thinking we would have to deal with this.

I bet they find you much noisier than their old neighbour and probably more intrusive too.

You seem to of expected silence in an elderly likely hearing declining area.

ScribblingPixie · 28/04/2025 20:02

Maybe it's not the house for you then?

Original poster

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 20:00

No our door is not open but we hear them when the windows are open and when coming and going through our front door. The bungalows are mirror image but ours is set back slightly so our front door is opposite their kitchen door and our kitchen door is a bit further back from their kitchen door if that makes sense.

I agree they’re obviously hard of hearing and they have been here 11 years before we moved in so they have got very used to acting the way they do (the old guy in this house before us was on his own and glued to his chair from what they’ve told us).
We are not silent by any means but we do not open ourselves up for them to hear all our conversations and phone calls.
I feel they are inconsiderate and as awful as it sounds to wish them to slow down I know this will really improve things for us. Their prescience is felt too much by us, we didn’t buy the house thinking we would have to deal with this.

OP posts:

SparkyBlue · 28/04/2025 19:59

The weather is turning really nice here and my door has been open all day. Once DC came home from school we've been out chatting and after dinner DH and I had a cup of tea outside and again more chatting and DD had all her dolls outside playing all afternoon and then DS did his homework outside and I listened to his reading. I hear the neighbours on the opposite side doing similar. Sometimes if I'm out in the garden doing something I'll listen to a podcast or music. It's normal life. OP sounds awful.

SuperTrooper14 · 28/04/2025 19:59

exceptionale · 28/04/2025 17:41

AI also BU to question when people that age tend to slow down a bit? Stay inside more? Feel the cold more? They’re like 60 year olds!

Why not go the whole hog and petition the Govt to ban anyone over the age of 60 from leaving their house and staying behind locked doors and windows?

LeavesTrees · 28/04/2025 19:53

Can you hear them because your door is also open? How does that much sound travel through your door otherwise?
It sounds like general living noise and given you have already complained to them about a few things and are almost avoiding them, if you complain about this then you will become THAT neighbour and everyone will dislike you. You probably annoy them in your own way - perhaps the time of day you go out in your car, or calling to someone in the house, but definitely when you are complaining!

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 28/04/2025 19:52

I know some very active 80 year olds!

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 19:52

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 28/04/2025 19:36

I didn't 'tell people what noise they can mention'. I said that that particular comment was triggering for misophonia sufferers. The reason it was triggering was because it said 'Good luck to them I hope they turn their radio up a lot louder this year!'

If you suffer from misophonia - I don't know whether the OP does but it's not impossible - and someone says they hope the noise gets even louder, that causes a huge amount of anxiety and stress. Imagine someone who couldn't stand certain noises because they triggered PTSD - would you say 'I hope the noise gets even louder'? Imagine an autistic child hiding under a desk because of classroom noise - would you say 'I hope there's more noise?'

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Op hasn’t said she suffers from any such thing.
Maybe stop making it all about you and step away if you’re reading anything you can’t handle?
Like a grownup?

PickledOnionOverdose · 28/04/2025 19:52

Would love to have this couple as my neighbours. I would go round and get to know them. They will have been born just after the war and have a really interesting history. Think of all the things they have seen and gone through. Make the most of it OP.

AngelicKaty · 28/04/2025 19:43

DreamTheMoors · 28/04/2025 19:01

I agree completely.
Nobody needs to shout when living near others, at least on a regular basis.
Nobody with decent hearing needs to blare their tv/stereo/radio/gaming devices.
Living near others comes with a list of common courtesies: be kind, be respectful, be polite and tread lightly.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

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They're 80 - do you really think they have "decent hearing"?

AngelicKaty · 28/04/2025 19:40

herbalteabag · 28/04/2025 18:59

I don't shut my door in the summer unless it's night time. I'm not especially noisy but you can hear the phone ring etc. from the garden. I used to hear my next door neighbour speaking on the phone almost every night until she moved.
Some people live next door to hostile or really anti social people, so I'd be grateful that isn't you.

OP is the hostile, anti-social neighbour! 😂

Hysterectomynext · 28/04/2025 19:37

Nanny0gg · 28/04/2025 19:10

You're actually vile.

What are you hoping for? Dementia? A stroke? Heart attack?

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Totally vile. and so self absorbed. There’s a baby or toddler who will be making normal noise too but all focus is on wishing the elderly couple ill health. May it all come back on you op

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 28/04/2025 19:36

KilkennyCats · 28/04/2025 19:27

Don’t engage in a thread about noisy neighbours, and tell people what noises they can mention!!
Jesus wept…

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I didn't 'tell people what noise they can mention'. I said that that particular comment was triggering for misophonia sufferers. The reason it was triggering was because it said 'Good luck to them I hope they turn their radio up a lot louder this year!'

If you suffer from misophonia - I don't know whether the OP does but it's not impossible - and someone says they hope the noise gets even louder, that causes a huge amount of anxiety and stress. Imagine someone who couldn't stand certain noises because they triggered PTSD - would you say 'I hope the noise gets even louder'? Imagine an autistic child hiding under a desk because of classroom noise - would you say 'I hope there's more noise?'

bunsnroses1 · 28/04/2025 19:35

Acoustic fencing.
I would be fencing my perimeter with acoustic fencing and an extra layer of greenery against the fence nearest your neighbours. Should stop the noise and the chats :)

Hysterectomynext · 28/04/2025 19:34

AngelicKaty · 28/04/2025 19:10

@exceptionale I'm guessing this couple have lived in their bungalow for decades and you're the newbie having moved in just four years ago, but you've already had "reason" to complain to them several times. Maybe they're missing their old neighbours and thought you'd be a nice young couple, but you sound joyless, unfriendly and utterly intolerant. They're not doing anything wrong - just living their lives. How would you like it if you had an intolerant neighbour who complained about the noise your DC make playing in the garden (another perfectly reasonable noise)? I'd rather live next door to your elderly neighbours than you.

Definitely I’d choose the neighbours over this poster. And she even took them asking when her baby was due as a criticism. Have they mentioned hearing the baby crying by the way? Or are they just normal tolerant and understanding people?

Hysterectomynext · 28/04/2025 19:29

Sulu17 · 28/04/2025 18:08

After reading your update OP they sound absolutely dreadful! I like my privacy and anonymity and it would really bother me if I were being watched and approached by my neighbours. I also wonder if they are now being 'performative' neighbours as someone else has alluded to, I think. In other words, doing it all to gain your attention, since you are refusing (rightly) to engage with them very much. Do you think they are in the early stages of dementia or something?

This is madness. Actual lost your sense of reason- madness