To think she’s just lucky her kids aren’t fussy and not to do with parenting

I don't know what BLW is either. Fed them what we ate, which is vegetables and lentils mostly as we are veggie. Plus all the spices.

My health visitor was horrified that I didnt give them meat, but I ignored her.

I have to agree the BLW approach seems to be bollocks not helpful. Unfashionable I know, but I stand by it. It puts far too much power and attention on the child.

15 years ago I ignored it and weaned my DC on a bit of baby rice at first, then puréed carrot/apple/other veg, then gradually increased the lumps until they were eating what we had chopped up in a mini chopper.

If they grabbed the spoon and wanted to feed themselves I let them but would often finish up myself so I knew they were fed.

Finger foods as they got older.

They were fed, slept well, not fussy and now all have a good relationship with food.

The majority of the world doesn't have childrens menus.

I've lived in Germany, Austria and Switzerland. All three definitely have children's menus/meals. Usually the choices are Schnitzel and chips, Bratwurst and chips, pasta with tomato sauce, some kind of fish nuggets/goujons/fish fingers (but called fish sticks) with chips - and the chips are nearly always thin fries. Some places now do vegan nuggets (most likely soy) with chips. The children's meals are almost never served with any kind of veg. At least in the UK it's usually like sausage, mash and peas or chicken nuggets, chips and baked beans. Not ideal but still better than literally just chips. In France I seem to remember children's menus involving Cordon bleu, although I'm not sure how common it is since I've never lived there.

I assume It's countries like Greece, Italy, Turkey that don't have separate children's menus at all? I haven't been to anywhere like that since having children so wouldn't have been looking for a kids' menu.

She's absolutely right. Nothing to do with luck.

My Spanish IL’s especially DH DGM were absolutely baffled by the baby lead weaning approach adopted by DSIS which they observed when she visited. They had not even heard of it as I had done things more in line with what they were used too.

The Spanish way of weaning starts with baby rice in a bottle not the spoon - morning and evening.

This then becomes puree spoon feeding by adult to the child (absolutely no grabbing the spoon!) of either chicken or white fish blended with potatoes and vegetables. Also fruit puree and and plain yogurt.

The only finger food would be little chunk of bread while in the high chair waiting for the main event.

I have never seen a Spanish mum worrying about baby feeding themself and in the process allowing food to be wasted and not actually ingested by the child. Getting the food in, not wasting any of it is key, as food is precious and important.
Food being chucked about making a mess ( no chance in a Spanish household ) simply not an option.
I never saw anyone worried about not introducing lumps soon enough, or baby feeding self, or encouraging exploration of textures by touch etc.

The emphasis is always on good nutritionally sound food being eaten and finished. Delivered in a way that causes minimum fuss, waste, adult faffing about or clearing up. Spanish kids can be bratty as they get older but they do not have the power at the dinner table.

Something works I guess as the food culture could not be more different to the UK.

I think that’s right.

And some parents will also tell you their children “isn’t fussy” because that’s important to them, but the child does in fact seem a little fussy.

What a baby eats doesn’t always have any bearing on what they eat as a toddler though.
All mine were weaned on proper food, but restricted what they ate between around 2 and 4. Then started adding more foods, slowly in the case of one DC. It's perfectly normal behaviour.
I ate eggs as a baby, stopped eating them age 3 and even now I cannot physically eat them. I’ve really tried, I want to eat them but I just can’t.
My kids love them though.

I think the baby led weaning movement and current weaning advice is part of the problem, to be honest. Combined with putting the child at the centre of everything.

It’s funny that there seem to be more extreme fussy eaters than there were 30/40 years ago, pretty much since the advice changed.

Forgot about yogurt yes a couple ‘petit suisse’ a day at least. Also flan and ‘natillas’ a loose custard milk based pudding.

To drink - water of milk or squeezed orange juice with water.

Everything has to count nutritionally

I think the VAST majority of fussy eating is parenting tbh, with a much smaller percentage being due to SEND than is currently fashionable to say.

Why?
Feeding him wasn’t/isn’t a chore.
He had severe eczema and had come up with hives with dairy/eggs and is peanut/nut free, especial peanuts because according to his recent blood allergy test he is very allergic to the peanut protein that is most likely to result in anaphylaxis.

Not that this matters much but food wasn’t straightforward for him, or us.

And another mum, for whatever the reasons, asked what we did and this is what we did.

And it worked.

Nothing we have to do for our kids is a problem, a pain at times, but never a problem.

If anything we did that worked could help someone else, then great, isn’t that partly, mostly, what a largely female forum called mumsnet should be about?

This is pretty much what we’ve implemented with the toddler but I will admit it seems to go against a lot of what the instagram baby led weaning / nutrition pages tell you to do. I resisted for so long because they say, oh you’ll give your kid an eating disorder, they’ll have an awful relationship with food etc. But I really think his behaviour is nothing to do with food really and more to do with testing boundaries / being a toddler!

Not wanting to derail the thread, but no, there’s no need for sleep training if you start off with good habits. The same as the food.

Oh, and the child isn’t in charge of the household.

Exactly how it works in our house too!

Good god.

Or you could just mash up what you’re having from the get go?

One of mine would have been an incredibly fussy eater given the chance.

She wasn't given the chance. Here is dinner, which is what everyone else in the family is having. You don't like it?
Well, that's what is on offer.
And there is apple crumble for dessert, and if you want that (and I know you do), you need to make decent inroads into your sausage and mash AND the cabbage first.

We had a few big stand-offs, but they were worth it to have a child who happily ate what she was given. They didn't have to eat everything, they could have a couple of things they didn't like, but the drill was, This is dinner, and that's it.

It's how I was brought up, and it had no ill-effects (I have a very happy relationship with food), and my DC also all have a decent eating habits as adults.

Another vote for luck and parenting!

Right from weaning my son has only ever been served what DH and I are eating. We sit at the table and eat and talk. DS doesn't have to eat anything at all but he does have to partake in mealtimes by being at the table.

He ate virtually nothing until he was a year old (breastfed so no concerns re growth) and now eats normal portions of our meals. This month he's had tonkotsu broth, cassoulet, lamb roast, carbonara, Goan curry, foraged wild garlic pesto, as well as chocolate, pasta, pizza, and McDonald's.

The key, though, it's to not make food a big deal. It truly doesn't matter if they try the thing today or next week but the more pressure you put on them the more anxiety they will feel and eating will become less and less pleasurable. Also, model a happy and healthy mealtime. My son has seen me try be things and enjoy them. He's seen me try something and not like it. Hopefully, this is all creating an environment where food is fun and sociable and, crucially, its safe.

I don't know about judge you, but my sister and I both get funny comments off our MILs about the amount of fruit and veg our kids eat.

My son was a pain in the arse to wean because he wasn't that interested in food, but he would eat bits off my plate, and I wasn't changing what was on my plate for a baby who wouldn't eat anything I served him.

From being the worst eater of his baby friends, he's now the best eater - and he's the only one who's never had a pouch.

Also if the child didn't eat what was In front of them, they're were not offered toast or biscuits. It was off to bed hungry. They eat eventually. They do not just give up and die.

Yes. I think there probably are some.
Although they obviously don’t eat chicken nuggets, they eat other plain food that is available.
Just like before there were chicken nuggets in Britain there were fussy eaters who only ate things like potatoes and bread and butter. My Grandpa was one despite being one of 12 where food was scarce. He’d often get in from school and go straight to bed as it was preferable to getting a hiding then going to bed for not eating his tea. His Dad joked when he signed up to fight in WW2 he’d be more likely to starve before he got shot.

Same in France. Typical day of food for the toddlers was lunch at 11am:

A starter of grated carrots or some other salad with lemon juice for flavour.

Then some rice/chicken/beef/ puree or fish pie

Then plain unflavoured yogurt with fruit

Then one small piece of bread with cheese

Then one plain biscuit.

Then they had snack at 3pm which was usually plain yogurt again (with some apple compote for a week or two until they learned to eat the yogurt by itself) plus some fruit. On a Friday they had a small piece on plain sponge cake. That was the entire day of food.
This was in a creche.

I worked with children in France years ago and my partner is French.
They eat almost everything because they're expected to. And not pandered to.
I watched a toddler at work gag when they were given comte cheese with bread. I told the other staff, "hey he's gagging let's take it away!!" They were not bothered and just said "he will learn to like it" 🤣 And he did....🤷‍♀️

I lives in Spain for 8 years party of that time with IL’s where diet was entirely Spanish dishes, and set in stone mealtimes with little deviation.

My four kids were already total
gannets who would eat anything but it was interesting observing my nephew who was SEN and fussy with food as well as others and. and see how what he ate compared with say a British counterpart.

Beige frozen oven food/‘kids food’ was not a thing in Spain while I was there , so kids who prefer a soft, bland / ‘fussy’ diet generally eat the following on repeat:

Papilla cereal (imagine weetabix in hot milk)

Cola Coa - hot cocoa in milk with plain digestive biscuits

Fresh Bread and olive oil

Cubes of ‘Queso Fresco’Bland firm cottage cheese or other mild cheese

plain poached chicken breast/ white fish sliced/ flaked, drizzled with olive oil

Plain 2 eggs omelettes - loads of these

But the heavy lifting and eaten almost daily would be the ‘Caldo’ which is Chicken broth soup made with the bones and veg and maybe a ham bone for flavour. To this two hour cooked broth tiny pasta or broken spaghetti will be added and egg whisked in as well as shredded chicken and maybe some tiny carrot cubes.

A child will be stood over while they eat it and there will be no negotiation at all
on that as a main meal. Many Spaniards eat this soup as a first course multiple
times a month themselves.

A fussy/ bland/ ‘beige’ if you will diet will be tolerated in Spain but the only things being offered will be the sort of things I’ve stated above.

The idea that anything processed or breaded frozen with low nutritional
content would pass the lips of a fussy /SEN Spanish child - certainly the ones I met - would be utterly rejected. My SIL and MIL for example, had the attitude that especially with children on a limited diet , every calorie had to give nutritional value.

No rubbish would ever be offered so no rubbish would ever be requested by the child

I was raised by a Spaniard, and my childhood experience was exactly like you describe. When I had children of my own. I took the same route. It works.

Some neurodiverse children may genuinely struggle though, and may need a different approach.