To think she’s just lucky her kids aren’t fussy and not to do with parenting

I agree with this and for this reason we don’t put food on the plates in the kitchen. It all goes in the middle and you take what you are going to eat and can come back for more if you want it. You have to have a small amount of everything (no SN issues so no reason not to).
We also meal plan - everyone can suggest one meal (has to be healthy) on a certain day.

Yes, same for South Asian culture

I must say I don’t agree with making children “finish everything on their plates”, I’d rather ignore what they leave and clear away after checking they’ve finished.

I think the same @LightDrizzle Can't think of anything worse than someone forcing me to eat when I am full or had enough. We wouldn't do that to an adult, why do it to a child.

Nope it’s parenting

I must say I don’t agree with making children “finish everything on their plates”, I’d rather ignore what they leave and clear away after checking they’ve finished.

I absolutely do believe that serving one meal for everyone and eating together whenever possible is really important. The fussy adult brother and sister I referenced in a previous post were in a household where their mum prepared different things for them on request (always convenience foods).

My mum only asked us what we wanted for dinner on rare occasions when she hadn’t decided herself and shopped for it, usually if my dad was out. She wouldn’t have prepared different things for my brother and I. We also chose our birthday dinners. She didn’t make us finish anything we didn’t like on the plate although there would have been disapproval of refusing to try it.

We have bog standard British kids and they will eat everything.. from all cultures tastes etc. I agree with the majority, it’s a mixture of both.

We took them out from babies to restaurants, they eat fish etc and we don’t so we made an effort to introduce them to food even we don’t like. We made sure they had a huge variety of food but never forced food they didn’t like so there is zero stress in our house about eating.

I also think it’s luck they have no additional needs, no allergies etc so that does make it easier.

They also eat kebabs, McDonalds and utter junk!!

The burger is a smaller version of the adult burger. The donor plate is with chips instead of bread/salad.
In fairness we've found that most places here will just give us an extra plate if we don't want to order from the children's menu - although I expect that will change when my daughter is older.

Apart from at "attraction" type places (aquarium, museum) the only two kid's meals my daughter has had in the UK were bangers and mash served with seasonal veg (broccoli and carrots) and grilled chicken, pitta bread and carrots with a yoghurt dip. So we've been fairly lucky in that respect.

Definitely a parenting issue

His 5yo brother sometimes insists on a jam sandwich for lunch, so I hear you.

But Why on ‘nugget nights’ not more fresh veg and meat from one of the four meals he would eat ?This is where I think the cultural element comes in

I agree. We do have crap food on the odd occasion. DC more so as at age 14 I let him choose 1-2 times a week what he's having for dinner and he can cook it himself. Often it's a freezer pizza or a homemade burger chips and a salad!
We often have a side salad with our main meals and somehow when we plan dinner and I ask what to get him it's always something rather and salad stuff. It's how he's been brought up... and how I was brought up ... 😀.

@givemushypeasachance haha my child doesn't like jam! Not that he's ever tried it. I take that one as a win (see also: juice, squash, haribos).

Some kids have strange whims. I remember being a pretty fussy child - going through a phase of not liking egg white because of the texture, being funny about meat on the bone (always hated gristle, fat on meat, etc), I don't like the idea of shellfish or fish with bones and bits attached. Would eat most vegetables except peppers. I've grown up to now eat more things but still don't want to eat shellfish, it's weird sea insects to me!

Mind you - my friend's 8yo doesn't like jam. What kid doesn't like jam? He likes strawberry sauce on an ice cream, but refuses birthday cake if there's a layer of strawberry jam in it! I'm sure it's just a fixed idea he has in his head and if he actually tried it he'd like it.

But Why on ‘nugget nights’ not more fresh veg and meat from one of the four meals he would eat ?
This is where I think the cultural element comes in. That crap simply would not offered BECAUSE the diet is so limited and child so fussy.
From my experience in Europe what a fussy child eats would be focused on with every mouthful needing to being as nutritionally dense and healthy as possible.
Other less fussy kids would be allowed, say pizza ( with lots salad) -but generally as a light meal not the main meal of the day once in a while.
However, the fussy child- BECAUSE he is so fussy would limited to ONLY eating the healthy nourishing food they will eat on a daily basis.

ONLY when fusspot will eat better will they get more choice. If you follow what I mean.

The focus is always about the quality of the food and what actual nourishment the child is getting into their body.

Also
A Maccies or Burger King in Spain would not ever replace a main meal.
it’s a snacky post cinema treat for example , but the potage/soup followed by the meat/fish with veg/salad and good bread will have been eaten midday by all.

No, more like a limited pale bland diet including fresh meat & veg. So, 4 meals that will be eaten on rotation.

And yes, freezer nuggets or whatever twice a week.

Would like us to be UPF free but the experience of a non eating child has changed DH and I.

Oh, and I have never made a second meal unless they were ill. If they didnt want to eat anything they had daal and rice, which is the equivalent of toast for us.

I didn't eat any chocolate cereal or nuggets or baked beans or chips or McDonalds when I was a child, and neither did my kids. I am not trying to be holier-than- thou. They are not common foods in my culture. My mum wouldnt have known what they are. She never went into the supermarkets, only to the Asian grocers. We had chocolate and crisps once in a while, not daily.

I did know about Iceland of course but I just continued as my mum did, feeding the traditional foods of our culture, which is more or less fresh veg, lentils, fruit, grains. Kids ate okra and spinach and squash from birth, just as I did, because there wasn't anything else available 9n table. They are not SEN.

Nonsense
Try having a child with ARFID and you will see.
My DD would literally go hungry for days rather than eat a food she couldn't tolerate.
Her "safe" foods were mostly raw vegetables with some limited carbs so no beige rubbish as there wasn't even any in the house. DD was eating BBQ octopus in Greece aged 2 but wouldn't go near a chicken nugget so lack of variety was never an issue for her
While I do agree that parents often contribute to the problem and we do seem to do worse than a lot of countries genuine ARFID is a nightmare to deal with

I think children with SEN do like junk food more than other kids, because they get a dopamine hit from the fat/salt/sugar.

That doesn’t mean you have to let them have it though.

These are basic rules for me. I have a SEN child too and the same goes.

This is why I think we’ve over diagnosed the ‘sensory issues’ (and things like ARFID) in this country.

Funny how it doesn’t seem to be much of a problem in other cultures.

I have a friend who is a single mum to 4, she’s British but lived abroad before having her kids. I will say her kids are the most amazing eaters, I always wondered how she did it, and what I’ve noticed is

1. No big deal centre of attention when weaning, just sat at the table in high chair and offered an adaption of what she was having, but attention not on the child
2. These kids have no concept of some foods exciting, they have never had fun cereal so it’s no fight at breakfast, it’s always been toast, weetabix or porridge on school days. They’ve never had chicken nuggets or cheap supermarket pizza, they rarely have McDonald’s (talking like once a year).
3. She doesn’t do snacks with her kids, not in the way I have, she offers her kids a piece of fruit mid morning and a piece of fruit mid afternoon but nothing elaborate
4. She never makes a second meal, you eat what you’re given or you go to bed hungry

My kids are quite picky but that’s a parenting flaw in me, they don’t want toast as they know chocolate cereal exists, they don’t want fresh meals as they know chicken nuggets and chips are an option. I wish I’d just never let my kids know these were options!

Culture and how food is approached at home is a huge part. It's no surprise fussiness is common if what we offer our kids is boring, repetitive and not hugely flavourful. And that is especially true of kids menus in restaurants. (caveat of course loads of people cook interesting tasty food, but lets face it, we aren't renowned for our food culture here).

‘Gave in’ to him eating what tho
A limited but nonetheless healthy pale bland diet on repeat of soft food like baked or mashed potato, rice, poached chicken or fish , toasted good bread, unflavoured yogurt, plain omelette, leek n pot/chicken soup

or freezer UPF nuggets and pizza ?

I think the part that frustrates me is how they have become the default food stuffs in this country when a child is Fussy or SEN
or whatever ?

as others said, outside SEN etc it really is down to what they’re exposed to and what is on the table when they eat. My friend’s kids who are growing up in French, Portuguese, Israeli, Mexican households are used to French, Portuguese, Israeli or Mexican food. If served things from each other’s households, they’d likely have some questions or flavours they’d find challenging. My kids had never had baked beans or fish fingers growing up as I didn’t grow up here so didn’t even think about them so they won’t eat them now.

I also agree that children benefit from mealtimes at a table and having mealtime be relaxed and fun.

I think parenting definitely plays a big part - British parents are often very soft when it comes to food.

When I was growing up (Irish), I ate what I was given or I didn't eat. That was that.

I was a fussy eater, and the rule was once I sat down at dinner I didn't leave the table until my plate was finished, or it was bedtime. I vividly remember one evening sitting at the dinner table alone for hours because I didn't want to eat my peas. My mother didn't budge from that rule.

I was allowed snacks, but only certain ones. If I refused the snacks on offer, I didn't get one - there were no other snacks in the house. By the time I was no longer a toddler, there wasn't much I wouldn't eat.

I remember going round a friends for dinner one night and being in shock when I was offered a choice of three different dinners. The mother regularly cooking 3 different meals, one for my friend (who only ate chicken nuggets, chips, and beans), one for her brother, and then one for herself and her husband.