To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

Are you taking the piss?

Posted in error

You should be embarrassed by this post OP

Comparison is the thief of joy. Count your abundant blessings and stop hankering after even more, good grief.

edited to add I didn’t see the poster above say the exact same thing, so if you get that message twice in a row it’s really time to heed it!

Stealth brag if I ever heard one. OH poor us we only earn £180k seriously get a grip and manage what many other people would class as a fortune better

You earn an enormous amount of money, particularly for your age. Comparison is the thief of joy, so frankly, be grateful and read the room, kid.

seriously fuck off

We don't earn as much but apparently we are in the top tier of earners. We have nice holidays but that is it in terms of lavish luxuries, 9 year old car, no designer brands, no iPhones, no meals out unless on holiday, no takeaways, 1 trip a year to the theatre or a concert, etc. A day out involves transport, entry tickets and a picnic from tesco (or M&S!) etc yet I see families on days out spending seemingly without thought in the gift shops and in the cafes etc and just don't understand how we are considered very high earners. I am happy with my life so I am not complaining but I do wonder how other people afford to be frivolous in their spending when we can't.

My conclusion is that it is because we are both employed rather than self employed. So everything we earn is taxed (heavily), nothing is hidden from the tax man. I think that the income declared by many people running their own companies or self employed is just the tip of their income iceberg. If you only declare half of your income then you have effectively just doubled the half you didn't declare as you don't lose half of it to tax. So the lifestyle of a £100k family who are PAYE can be achieved at a much lower declared income level if it is not all properly taxed.

I think there must be a huge number of people appearing with much lower income in the stats of household income levels, who are actually,secretly much richer. They are just paying considerably less tax than they should be because otherwise it really doesnt make any sense.

People's priorities are not always in the right place for the right things. For example I had a mum (sue) coming in once a week for 2 hours to do the basics. The same week Sue told me she didn't have much money for groceries, her friend paid for botox treatment for her, and Sue is wearing new exercise gear she bought on after pay the following week. The same friend convinced Sue to miss a shift here to take her to some car rally event, and Sue goes along with it...

It was frustrating because when Sue tells me she doesn't have much for groceries, I'm pulling stuff out of our freezer and garden to give to her in addition to her earnings.

I ended up wound up about it so ended Sue's work here. Sometimes it's better to remove yourself from the situation. If this is happening to you and it's causing you angst, turn your back. Neither you nor I can resolve other people's financial decisions.

They make huge bonuses and much bigger salaries than yours, that’s how.

agreed! I think it’s utterly tragic that people are so brainwashed they only feel successful if they have a 4 bed detached and 2 range rovers. Does anyone actually stop and ask themselves whether they actually want that?

This is so on the money. Getting the ‘big car’ doesn’t mean you’ve made it in life. It means you’ve been sucked in by marketing to spend money you haven’t got on something you don’t need (that’s also needlessly driving up your emissions and pollution, but that’s a whole other point). Stop looking at others, and start looking inside at what leads to lasting happiness - you don’t need a massive income for that.

Wowser. Our combined family income is half of yours. We have a 4 bed town house on a lovely estate in Yorkshire, no parental help with deposit. We bought our first 3 bed semi using the help to buy scheme many years ago and had a 5% deposit. We made some decent money when we sold it which allowed us to buy this one with a 70% mortgage. 2 DC in school so we don’t have childcare costs anymore. I have a company car which gets replaced every 4 years, DH owns his car outright and it’s 15 years old but we use mine as the main car. We live a lovely life, I have luxury handbags, kids have nice trainers etc, do extracurricular activities, we’re off to Orlando for our family holiday this year, my house smells like diptyque candles. I don’t know how you think you’re struggling. This is absolutely mind blowing. Other people just earn more, are saving less or have a shed load of debt, cars on finance etc. I think it’s time for a spreadsheet to see where all your money is going!

Darling, honestly I think you're somehow doing life wrong. What are you spending the money on? Do you have super expensive childcare? Is your mortgage crazy?

My friend just bought a gorgeous place in zone 2 on a similar salary (granted, had a deposit from old house) and lives a good life with fun, food, good car if that's important to you... As a single person, not as a couple.

I left the rat race behind a few years ago, although I left with a fair comfort cushion so I don't need to save for a pension, so I live on a fraction of that mostly income in the Lake District.. My life is spas, day trips, personal trainers, Michelin star restaurants, beautiful clothes... I'm living the dream.

You must somehow have very high fixed costs, whether that's childcare, mortgage, commuting, fixed savings accounts, paying down old debts...? Do you spend money on things you 'need' but don't really need, e.g. clothes every month?

Our combined income is around £40,000. We have a semi in South East London. We have a couple of holidays a year and many outings. However we're not extravagant-into designer clothes etc as feel they're a bit of a take on and we are careful not to waste money. We save approximately £300 monthly too.
I can't imagine earning as much as £180,000 and not being able to manage - you should be rolling in it!

Sorry are you having a laugh, 180k, we earn about 80k between us, don't scrimp on anything, go to florida once a year, splash out at Christmas, kids do whatever classes they would like and we still have money left over to save. We also live in the SE, Hertfordshire if that helps

What a nasty thread!
I often hear posters rebuking ‘benefits bashing’ whilst being perfectly happy to admonish someone doing well with their earned money.
The COL living crisis is relevant to all. Sure, op won’t be struggling to eat or heat her home. But in areas of the UK, just childcare and a mortgage on a modest home could swallow over half of that income.

I get it op. You could live in the area I do which is like this and yes, lots of households have higher income. DH and i are quite similar to lots of friends and neighbours. Household income is £300k

If you have one earner on 120 and one on 60k you could be paying more tax than 2 earners on 90k, it could make quite a big difference.

There are something like 2 million people in the uk earning over 100k and they are concentrated in the south east & london.

*Begrudger

Absolutely. I'm a primary school teacher. What I'm not is a begrudge.

You do realise that some of the hardest working people are on the crappest wages right?

Whining? This is so annoying! I'm sure op worked hard to get to where she's at. Did you? And I'm sure while she was doing all that hard work, she assumed it was going to lead to some serious financial rewards. You can't hate her for wondering why she can't afford to live a very affluent lifestyle when she's earning as much as she does.

This ^

Holidays, especially “luxury” ones, are things people pay for out of savings AFTER they’ve paid for essentials like, you know…shoes and clothes. Maybe try that?