To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

If this is true, come on OP. You spend the equivalent of a TA’s salary after tax on a holiday and moan that your lifestyle isn’t bougie enough…..?

Housing costs. Everything depends when you bought your house, and so how big your mortgage is.

Someone buying a house today might be paying twice the price of that house 15 years ago in parts of the South East.

And childcare a factor if you’re in that period - with my headline income I’d have thought I’d be driving a Porsche, but I actually just have a MASSIVE mortgage on a London terrace and sky-high childcare bill. Without those I’d suddenly have several thousand pounds a month disposable income.

Are you kidding me???
The average household income in the UK is £34,000, and you, on an income of £180,000 are complaining about not being able to afford to replace shoes and clothes.
How the Fuck do you think everyone else is managing?

If there are things you feel you can’t do it’s because you are spending more than others in other areas.
You have one child in school, so no private fees or full time childcare.

This is all I have to say

This thread isn’t going to go well. But yes, 180k doesn’t get you what you think it will get you. The kids of our childhood whose parents were on the equivalent of 180k (not that I knew any, but in my later teens my friends and I fell in with some private school boys) had the massive detached houses/school fees etc. 180k in London or surrounds is just not likely to deliver that lifestyle unless you have had a significant hand up the ladder to buy your property and your mortgage is therefore lower.

Often there will be minimum pension contributions being made, cars on lease, potentially holidays on a CC, parents helping with a really substantial deposit and often just general living costs esp in earlier adulthood, parental help with school fees etc. High earners often had high earning parents who can therefore help them.

We are the same, higher earners but not necessarily living the expected lifestyle until more recently and we still don’t feel we have enough for school fees. We will however probably have plenty to help our own kids out with and hopefully kickstart a bit of generational money.

Doesn't a lot of it come down to where you live? Like a small three bed in a desirable area could be hugely expensive, compared to a big 5 bed somewhere less desirable. I.e. is it going to turnout you live in Richmond? Or St Albans?

It's hardly rocket science is it

Maybe don't spend 15 grand on a holiday then?

I understand the point you’re making even if lots of people have got the hump.

You have a good salary but see others with a lot more and wonder how.

There’s a term for it now - monetary dysmorphia.

You must be doing something wrong or over spending somewhere. We have a household income of 140K we have a 2 week holiday every year, plus 2 city breaks. We live in a 4 bed detached, own our car (although it's not new but we both WFH so refuse to spend loads of money on one, but it's an SUV) We don't wear designer clothes because that's just not our taste. We have one DS who is 12 so does have more expensive taste in clothes than us 🤣
We eat out fairly often and have multiple savings accounts that we pay in to every month.
If you are struggling on your income I would have a good look at what you are spending each month. We have a spreadsheet and everything goes on there so we can see what we are spending on what.

I think you should meal plan mate

Hang on you have a household income of £180k and had a substantial gifted deposit and you still struggle - are you fucking terrible with money or something?

We have about two thirds of housenold income, had no help to buy a property and live in London. We absolutely do not struggle to have a nice life.

We may have different definitions of a nice life though.

Oh also, find a new circle of friends.

OP - you’re mid-thirties, you have a child and you own a house and car. I know many the same age as you who would give their eye teeth for that. There are many who live in small flats and rely in public transport. Of course there will always be those, especially in the Home Counties, who seem to “have it all”, but they’re v much the exception. They have probably had a mighty leg up from bank of mum and dad (and din’t underestimate your own good fortune to have been gifted £50,000) and work for high level banking/legal/accountancy firms, or have set up their own businesses. You really don’t have it so bad - be thankful with what you have. There are many who would envy your holidays alone - when I was your age, we used to spend holidays with my DM or DMIL because we couldn’t afford to do anything else.

Sorry this is incredibly tone deaf. Your household is right at the top of the income distribution and by your own admission you basically have no financial problems.

As someone else who has a high income and high outgoings I understand the stretched middle thing. But it’s an incredibly first world problem.

You are extremely privileged by the standards of most people on these boards. Read the room a bit and keep it to yourself.

I dont have a single designer item and am not interested in having any.
If you can afford £15 k holidays you shoudnt be complaining.
I think I would be more sympathetic if you asked for ways to trim your expenses. But the way you have framed it is so clueless in this climate.

Seriously? You earn more in a month than I do in 6. If you can’t buy the things you want with that money you have serious problems.

You are clearly going wrong somewhere because we live on a third of your income, in London, and feel like we live well

You must have really poor financial management skills if you can't manage on £180k a year.

In my case, loosing my parents at a young age. Both had life insurance which paid out a considerable amount and and I also inherited our family home.

Our salaries are less than yours at £118k, we also live in SE commuter belt, we had no help from family to buy a house. We have a 4 bed, go on a couple of holidays each year, run two cars a few years old, go on days out, no trouble buying clothes, eat out, and have healthy savings and investments for us and DCs which we add to each month. We don’t do private school though, it are paying huge nursery fees currently as still have one DC in nursery. You are doing something wrong if you can’t afford all this on £180k.

Dear lord

Do you have a Just Giving page I could donate to?