To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

You can't buy shoes? Ok.
Perhaps try the MN recommendation of taking in ironing.

Come on op. A £15k holiday and you’re pleading poverty? And jealous of friends?

I can honestly say I have never compared myself to anyone else financially and been jealous. I am a single parent who was made redundant and I still don’t find myself adding up what other people have got/haven’t got which is a lot more than me because most people I know are married with a family home and two incomes coming in. Everyone’s circumstances are different and that’s just life.

I am also not of the era where your parents helped you out with a large deposit to buy a home. I don’t know anyone who had that privilege or anyone who had a family who could afford to do that. Yes you are very lucky indeed.

Food, Utilities, Council Tax, Water rates, insurances, broadband, Sky - pretty sure ours adds up to £2k, if not more.

DH and I have a combined income just above the national average, and although we monitor our spending we are in no way unable to house and cloth our two children. In fact we still have enough money to a house and second hand car, go out for dinner / treat day every few weeks and take an annual UK holiday (probably could afford abroad but cba with young children).

High housing costs and recent increases in cost of living generally are undoubtedly a driver for people feeling poorer than they’d expect on higher salaries. It is hard when a big pay rise is maybe just eaten up by various basic costs like mortgage, fuel & food rising but I just always think without the pay rise we’d be worse off so actually we are super fortunate to be in the position our quality of life is minimally impacted and that where it is then it’s all on nice to haves vs needs.

I find If I focus on what we have & feeling grateful for it vs what anyone else has & feeling envious then I’ll be much happier so I do that. We’ve just been on holiday for a week in the UK. We spent about 10% of your Maldives budget but had a fab time together exploring parks & museums, visiting some attractions, going to the theatre, eating out in small independent restaurants/cafes and getting a chance to chat with the kids. If you want a new car then you could easily do a couple of years of cheaper holidays and you’d be sorted. Someone else with the car and your earnings probably does that or their kids do less clubs or they have a smaller mortgage. Ultimately just enjoy that you have choices and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh come on what sort of “bills” total £2k exclusive of mortgage?
The OP spends 15k on a holiday, it’s objectively nonsense to say she doesn’t have much left over.

£180k isn't a small amount.

Are you genuinely taking everything into account..as in...if any

Monthly subscriptions..
Amazon Prime/Netflix/Sky, any others.
High phone contract payments.

Ad hoc bits you buy along the way all add up.

Purchasing the latest phones/tablets, gadgets.... just because.

Living off 180k a year must be horrendous. My heart bleeds for you.

Also OP this is genuinely a serious suggestion - move to somewhere where you’re not surrounded by v rich people if you don’t like to be? We live in the frowned upon area locally, which I love because it keeps the snobs out and it is absolutely lovely!

Sounds like you are dreadful at budgeting.

Divert time from worrying about others to watching some you tube videos on working out where your income goes and assessing the importance and value of the choices you are making.

I haven’t got a pot to piss in and can’t afford holidays so… 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wow. I’m late thirties and divorced so single income of £40k to pay the mortgage and all bills now. I prioritise experiences over possessions - have nice holidays - currently in Portugal with friends, eat out every couple of weeks at home, gym, spa days etc.
Love my life. Bought house with no assistance from family up north in an average area. Have a cheap run around car that gets me from a to b. So many people just over do things and have unreasonable expectations. Who needs a gas guzzling 4x4 unless you are a farmer? Just enjoy your life you are so privileged and can’t see it!

I can sort of work the sums on this. So say £10k a month take home pay
£4k mortgage
£2k childcare
£2k bills
£1k student loan

doesn’t leave much but still seems very wrong!

Maybe volunteer some time to help out with those less fortunate. One of my jobs is working with homeless people. I come back to my 3 bed semi and feel so so lucky. I have somewhere safe and that's mine.

Money certainly isn't going as far as it once did. Everything is much more expensive now. You're not unreasonable to observe the change but if you're considering a 15k holiday you're doing absolutely fine. Definitely change your social circle and outlook. You said you grew up poor so know you're lucky but then feel left out you don't have a 4x4. It doesn't add up op.

🤣🤣🤣

Hmm. We have similar income but no family help, and in Surrey and generally don’t struggle. 3 kids, one in nursery. Focus your perspective on your second paragraph rather than your third if you want a happier life. Other than that, not sure really!

ETA we don’t struggle at all, maybe it would be a stretch to go on an AI holiday every year but that’s not a struggle 😄

I have a 3 bedroom house. It cost £1m. Don’t use a 3 bedroom house as proof you don’t have enough money when you earn £180k a year between you, you idiot.

It's a bit early to be taking out the violin, but here we are.

I live in the SE so I understand it’s an expensive area but just as there are plenty of people with more money than us around (a lot moved out from London and had made £££s in property there) there are many, many of our contemporaries on much less. Why not look all around you?

@Travelenthusiast if you do come from a ‘poor background’ I just don’t think you would be this tone deaf and certainly a lot more grateful for the comfortable circumstances you find yourself in.

Surely if the things you want aren’t affordable just budget differently e.g. spend 10k on your holiday and that gives you 5k for clothes. It’s laughable to be typing that out, surely no-one is that clueless!

Also this

I just don't understand. £180k a year and you don't feel well off?

Our household income is around £80k and I never have to worry about money. I feel very privileged and well off.

Where is your money going?

It will almost certainly be that they don’t have your mortgage. Either they got on the housing ladder much earlier so they had equity / their purchase cost was lower, or bank of mum and dad paid a significant chunk.

If you only have one child I can't understand it either.

Imagine feeling jealous of others when you have a £180k annual income, 15k holidays and a 3 bed house, when some families of the same age as you are living paycheck to paycheck, can barely keep a roof above their heads or food in their children’s bellies. Behave😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

They may be higher earners, have inherited along the way or have accrued substantial debt. Whatever they have will have been earned or borrowed by them or gifted to them. It's utterly pointless looking at what others have and comparing yourselves when you won't know the details of their finances. One thing you can be sure of is if you spend more than you have you will go into debt and that is nothing to be envious of.