To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

This whole thread will fill up in about four hours ...

...due to dozens of people in a frenzy keen to express their incredulity at the OP.

This is peak Mumsnet.

Mumsnet won't want to delete it as they're getting eyeballs.

The OP made a show of "I'll get them to delete" but I'm sure is enjoying the attention.

And everyone else gets to froth that someone else is earning lots of money and doesn't realise how lucky they are.

It's so pointless.....

Ok normally I defend people here who may have an above average income and struggle.
But you cannot be confused how people fund their life when you have a household income of £180k

Give your head a massive wobble. I earn half what you have and am comfortable more or less.

You need a budget. That will help you to see where you are going wrong.

Pay for YNAB, go to the classes. Your problem is not lack of income it’s financial mismanagement.

Yeah, I think I know what I would do in that situation...

Great point about the increasing number of ‘woe is me’ threads from affluent people feeling the pinch. It will be interesting to see how it plays out societally & economically. A lot depends on how the economy here & globally performs.

It must be truly galling for people genuinely struggling to pay for rent & food to read how hard up people think they are when they have a champagne lifestyle,

Rarely afford to replace shoes or clothes but can afford a 15k holiday 😂.

You are objectively very well off and should enjoy that rather than worrying about others - comparison is the thief of joy and all that.

But to answer your question as to how they have more, they either:

Earn more

Are racking up debt

Don't build up savings, which you say you are doing

Have had family help

Make savings in other areas of their lives that you don't see (i.e. cheaper holidays, plan meals to reduce supermarket costs). For example, my husband wanted a nice car. He doesn't have expensive hobbies, he doesn't really drink, we saved up for it first, and then he spent about 6 months looking for a second hand one at a really good price. To an outsider, we just look like we have a nice car and how do we afford it. I love our car, I could be grumbling about how we couldn't afford a new one like some people, but instead I know we're in a lucky position to have it.

Gosh, poor you.

My Friends that have more now we are in our 30's either had more help from family or were incredibly sensible when they were younger. One friend has never been a high earner career wise, but scrimped to buy her first flat really young and has steadily done up properties before moving to something else that needs work ever since. She chose to work constantly throughout uni, lived at home, and rarely joined us on nights out or holidays. Now she's reaping the financial benefits 🤷‍♀️

Others have had inheritances young. A couple chose a trade rather than uni and set up their own businesses whilst I was still living like a teenager. And some put everything on credit and are living beyond their means.

Honestly though, your life sounds far more financially comfortable than many others so I'd stop comparing (or move up north, it's far easier to afford a better quality of life up here).

I see exactly what you mean people have a lot of wealth where you are. I know of people buying 8-10 million pound houses and doing a whole refurbishing that add a couple of millions more. Do not even get me started on the stamp duty? Anyway good for them but definitely do not dream doing that on £180 k of course. How do they do it? Jobs that pay million plus same in bonus with big inheritance added and tax efficient system. You are a tiny fish in a big pond.

I feel like the OP has got an absolute bashing on this thread. We have a take home income of around 40k a year combined so your take home is huge compared to what we’re on. We can afford a standard house with normal mortgage and run 2 ten and 11 year old cars, having a UK holiday this year which will cost us around 800 pounds for accommodation which is a bit of a stretch and we’re having to save for.
it’s not a race to the bottom and I think OP, the way to look at it would be that there are people doing better than you, and people who are far, far worse off. That’s how I think of it, when I feel like we don’t have a lot on our average salaries I think of those that would love to be in our position where they had managed to get on the property ladder, could run a car and could afford to put food on the table.

Why is having 2 children at uni "crippling"?
Ours applied for student loans and did part time work, then summer jobs. What's costing so much, @WatermelonLolly ?

The post about 2 in front of me is spot on. Families where they all drive a fleet of Range Rovers because it's "through the business", including all the SAHMs. They will be racking up all sorts of financial benefits "through the business" also.

They may be priotising spending.

FIL used to get asked how he and MIL afforded so many hoilday by his workmates - he point out unlike then he wasn't in the pub every evening - but working an allotment and home cooking and priotising the holidays.

The problem is you’ve put this in AIBU. For what it’s worth, I feel exactly the same. I’m going to DM you. So much for Mumsnet being full of only high earners… Clearly anyone who earns less than you is enraged by this. Tall poppy syndrom. And that’s one of the reasons we have such a pathetic growth agenda and start ups that have any aspiration end up fleeing abroad. That and our crazily punitive tax system and low wages vs housing costs (yes even yours).
The angry posters need to know that your salary is probably nearly cut in half by tax and one of you may well have lost your 12.5k tax free allowance…If you’re spending thousands on a large mortgage plus commuting plus childcare, it’s easy to see where your money has gone.
I would actually suggest meal boxes are a great way to inadvertently budget (yes really) especially as they keep you away from supermarkets to do a quick top up shop which always ends up costing £££. And the best holidays we have had have been non-AI ones.

You lost me (single mom, disabled, disabled carer, living on benefits, 16yo car) at "180k per annum'

Get a grip.

Good god , I could only dream of an income like that ….and yes I buy small coffees ( not giant ££ drinks ) out maybe 2 or 3 times a week and replace clothes and shoes ( but I always buy in sales and I do swither over whether I really need something and where / when I will wear it )
In all fairness I don’t smoke ( who does these days 🤪) don’t drink 🍷 and go “ out out “ 😉
Eating out tends to be coffee and a sandwich type lunch from time to time or an occasional Groupon deal .
i didn’t have any financial help from parents at all , they never even really saw my children to give them the odd few £ here and there for pocket money .

Haven’t read whole thread but just wanted to show solidarity with the op and that i can completely understand why you feel this way.

We are in a very similar position, three children, joint salaries of around 150 K, live in the north-west but in a pricey area.

Three children, two at uni which is crippling. One dog. One holiday per year abroad, not particularly extravagant with spending, but will eat out occasionally and pay for phones, and clothes shoes etc for DC’s.

There is very little to spare, and the tax bill is enormous.

I think that there is a misconception among lower earnings that this salary gives you an enormous amount of spare cash, when in reality if you have a large mortgage and other High outgoings, high taxes and no parental help it can be quite tough.

I know, although the shoes remark made me laugh!

Surely that’s self explanatory? £180,000 today is the equivalent to £120k 5 or 6 years ago; a good income but not outstanding. And sure, it gets you into the top 5% of households. But the problem is if everyone you mix with is also in the top 5% then £180k puts you at the bottom of household income for your peer group. Because there will be those in the top 1% or 2% that have much much higher household incomes. It’s easy enough to see households with 2 high earners - lawyers / city / medicine / c suite or whatever where the houses income will be north of £500k. If that’s your peer group, £180k is just scraping by ;)

I kind of know what you mean OP. I often wonder how people afford their lifestyles. It's not like 30 years ago when some people had a fancy car hardly any folk that I knew though, and I lived in a salubrious area). But now it seems like everybody has an Audi, Range Rover, or Tesla. Strange times.

If you struggle to buy clothes, scrap the holidays... bit I find that hard to believe on £180k combined salary.
We are on a 1/4 of that, self employed in the south east, and we rent..we very rarely have a holiday. And I think we are in a good position.

To be perfectly fair, that income probably means OP ends up socialising with people in higher income brackets. If the 180K is before tax, it really isn't a massive amount if you're trying to keep up with genuinely rich people. They have trust funds, investments, multiple properties and possibly a business bringing in 180K a month. OP essentially earns just enough to cosplay as a rich person but is living far above her means if she can't buy shoes or coffee or afford private school.

OP to answer your question, many people simply have more money. 250-350K is where it gets easier and there are lots of families living on that than you imagine. You also didn't mention what your jobs were but a lot of wealthy families build networks. Personal and professional connections are absolutely vital and even though it can feel transactional, it's usually always a case of what you can do for me vs what I can do for you. As a result, many wealthy families don't have to pay for a lot of things because they're friends with people who can give it to them for free or at a heavy discount. If they own businesses, they can easily write off things as tax deductible expenses and it essentially gives them a 50% discount.

A common trick is to attend industry seminars or work trips and bring your wife and kids. These events usually take place in exotic locations or 5* hotels and are fully, legally, tax deductible (very common in medicine).

Imagine having all that you have and clearly so bored and unhappy that you need to post this thread.

A few people have commented on the increased number of this type of post in recent months, and I find this aspect really interesting. Whilst the majority of the UK have been suffering the effects of the cost of living crisis for at least a couple of years now, this forum does seem to be a good barometer of how increased costs are, finally, hitting the top 10% (sorry OP, I know it doesn’t feel it right now, but that’s you). Whereas previously those that are wealthier have been insulated from rising day-to-day costs, the impact on the housing market, mortgages and utilities has finally hit home.
The really interesting part will be what the government does about this, as this wealthier class tend to be reliable voters, employers and business decision makers …and MPs!

What on earth?! We are in the SE and have a combined income of £70k. We go on one holiday per year. Our kids are happy. We have to watch money, but we enjoy life. I find 4 x 4s ridiculous - they’re the ones on the school run which are a pain in the arse! Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say.