To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

You must have absolutely appalling money-management skills if you can't make £180K a year.
DH and I, plus 2 kids "manage" on a combined about £50K, have a lovely 3-bed semi in a nice area in a large midlands town, and feel like we have plenty of disposable income. I'd kindly suggest that you're doing it wrong.

@MaryOGowrie The income tax you pay disproportionately rockets at over 100k: here’s a link to the 60% marginal tax explained:
taxscouts.com/high-earner-tax-returns/what-are-the-tax-implications-of-earning-over-100k/

You have a household income of £180k yet still feel jealous of other people?

Have you considered how privileged you are? I suggest you need some perspective.

There should be a rule that anyone asking for advice about their own finances has to provide details on income & expenditures.
much like the MSE boards where no one really engages without an SoA.
otherwise it’s entirely pointless

Has the whiff of a Daily Fail fishing expedition.....

Some of our neighbours seemed to be doing very nicely thank you up to just over five years ago - big cars, extensions on houses, fancy holidays, new clothes (albeit not very nice clothes)
Then COVID hit. We continued our adequately paid jobs for essential employers while our neighbours work dried up and they spent most of the time moaning to others about lockdown.
I asked some of them about furlough and government grants for self employed - they went amazingly quiet, mumbling something then changed the subject to the usual British fallback of the weather.
Then it dawned on me they had been working cash in hand as much as possible, minimal official profits, everything on business expenses.
They still grumble a lot about places not taking or paying in cash

If she has been poor then this post is even more stupid than first thought.

I feel like as a society we are being sold a crap aspirational dream of big cars, luxury holidays, constant home remodelling and renovations, high-maintenance beauty regimes, constant eating out, ever-changing fashions. Total victims of capitalism that we feel our value is measured against all this. If you live in suburbia life me, I think the pressure is worse. We're not rubbing shoulders with the people who are managing to opt out of all this.

Also years ago when I was wondering why on earth my salary had increased exponentially but I felt poor - I saw something in of my finance groups that said “you can do anything you want but you cannot do everything you want” and I apply that to my finances. Sounds like you want to do a lot more but without knowing your neighbours financial situation you cannot muse on how they are doing it.

@Travelenthusiast maybe your early experience of being poor means you can't enjoy your wealth with confidence and you are saving more than your neighbours and friends.
You will probably be better off for it in the long run.

Agree, it’s a tone deaf thread but if she has rich friends she will seem poor, ages not comparing herself to someone on £30k as she’s not hanging round with those people.

obviously the difference is that most people have some emotional intelligence which tells them this and don’t post like the op.

The cars could be company cars. Our big car is company owned, and a perk of working in the car industry, we could never afford to own it!

Are you joking?

And for the record... nobody's salary is being cut in half by tax.

Do piss off OP!!!!

Maybe mumsnet could make a special topic section for people on extremely high wages but with shockingly poor money management skills. There seems to be plenty of them

You earn way more than me op but sounds like im happier than you.
I fund my life on a shoe string.
No debts no owing anything i live cheep.
I dont own credit cards.
No renting appliances.
What i have is mine out right.
All bills up to date.
Plus my biggest savings was i never wanted kids or a husband.

This 100%

OP you’ve now deleted your account but honestly feel free to PM me. Lots in common. Except we have a in even higher income (as DH is ancient and probably at the end of his career so not a stealth boast) but only manage to pay for private school as we bought nearly two decades ago and used an offset mortgage to largely pay down the debt… it’s also more expensive to move to a similar house in an area where there are vaguely good secondaries. We have zero designer clothes, pay outright for a car after running our old diesel into the ground and eat out once a month as a family if that and takeaways maybe once a fortnight. This is on what is an eye watering headline single income (I’m looking for work) but is entirely eaten up by school fees. Our house has become so dilapidated in parts that I’m embarrassed to invite people over. We have to save up to do work to it in chunks eg essential repairs to windows.

This
Be happy with what you've got and stop trying to compare yourself to others.
Others might be in loads of debt to have what they have, nothing to be jealous of at all imo.

Stop moaning. Christ.

I have read loads of these threads, and yes people in the south do have higher costs.

But a 15k holiday? Nope. This is not the squeezed middle.

Seriously OP. My full time business earns 24k a year.
I haven’t had a holiday for 22 years and I drive a 22 year old car. I can’t afford to have children.
Posts like this are, frankly, gross.

I don’t get it. If your car works, why do you need a different one? With clothes I get why people ‘update their look’ even when they have other, wearable clothes already, because there’s a big element of self-expression in what people wear. But a car just drives you somewhere. If it does that, I genuinely don’t understand why you would even think about it being 10 years old or not being a 4x4 or whatever.

If you’re on £180k a year in a “modest” 3 bed not in London you’re really screwing up.

we are on a fraction of what you earn, modest 3 bed, one non fancy holiday a year, occasional meals out, and can still afford to replace cars and shoes.

You need to review your finances with someone who is good at maths.