To not understand how people fund their lives and feel a bit jealous?

I'm glad someone has brought this up. It's not just the vibe that holidays are essential, I often get the impression that they are some kind of entitlement, and with that comes the belief that only luxury foreign ones are worthy of the epithet.

I sometimes think that the people who think like this must be so deeply, deeply unhappy with their normal day to day lives that temporarily escaping from them is the only coping mechanism they have.

You must be the most incompetent budgeter ever. Are you absolutely certain how much money you earn?

It’s not envy but if anyone can explain why OP can’t afford to replace shoes and clothes but can afford a £15k holiday to the Maldives, I’m all ears.

One thing that is never mentioned is crime & the proceeds!

And how does that work because I’ve told the lady at the bus stop my finances?

I’m not that poster but yes, I am. Financial transparency - and being open about financial help - is really important for social mobility

Are you happy to tell all and sundry your financial status and spending? Lady at the bus stop? Your dentist? Just who should we be having these talks with?

@Rosie8880

I don't think it's necessarily talking about money in itself that gets people riled.
For me I'm just baffled that people who are in jobs on high salaries can't work out for themselves why or how other people fund their lifestyles.
It's also about grasping the stage of life you are at.
I've been told I'm lucky because I have no childcare costs or mortgage. I'm not lucky. I'm 60 - I've done the mortgage bit, no inheritance, no big money gifts, just my 25 years hard slog. My son is grown up. So of course I have disposable income.

This is so important - everyone’s “normal”
is different. On a bit of a tangent I wish talking about money was more normalised - what people earn, what they spend as it seems here in uk talking about money is the biggest taboo

I haven’t had a holiday for eight years. I honestly can’t say I miss it even though I have holidayed in some very nice places, in some very nice hotels. I’ve just never been one of those people who absolutely have to have a holiday (vacation), even when under huge stress. My sister would not be able to function without her numerous holidays and mini breaks every year.

Well if a single teacher at the local primary was coming to school in a chauffeur driven rolls royce, wearing Chanel couture and lived in a twelve bedroom mansion then yes it would cross my mind how they afforded it but if it was an affluent neighbour in an affluent neighbourhood then no, I’m not going to wonder why they have three cars to my two. OP is doing well, she said so herself, just not, apparently, doing as well as some of her neighbours.

What always feels so alien to me is people who seem to feel that holidays are some sort of essential - that kind of vibe comes up a lot on these threads.

Holidays are nice, and there's no doubt there are stress-relieving benefits that come with being able to get away, but I seriously just live such a different life from high earners and attitudes to holidays really seems to be a barometer. I haven't been abroad in five years, and go away maybe once a year to a very cheap UK destination, if possible. It's crazy to me how different peoples' lives can be and what we're used to. I wouldn't think anything of a whole year with no holiday - it would just be totally normal to me.

She can’t afford to replace shoes or clothes but can afford a £15k holiday to the Maldives.

Ok, so if you believe that, that's what you'd answer then.

You won't say 'are you joking' or whatever, implying that she has no right to ask the question because she herself earns more than average.

Personally I think it's really useful to see what people earn and what they do, and to cross ref it with their class background/private school etc.

It's never a question of 'they just work 5 x harder than nurses and teachers'.

This is mental

If you live in a modest three bed house but are surrounded by families who have so much more, is your little house surrounded by (Mc)mansions?

Read this title and thought saaame. We struggle, we have debt, I work part time as can’t afford childcare, DH self employed and bursting his arse to make ends meet and everyone else is booking holidays and buying this and that and generally living……… then I seen ur income is £180k. So that’s wild. I fair even imagine having that sort of income

Well they must have more money than she does if they can afford more than she can. There’s many reasons why, better paid job, better investments, wealthy parents, maxed credit.

They are able to afford it because they are on benefits or in minimum wage jobs.

Obviously I was on one of the, er, rougher beaches!

Is still sand, that you can walk on. It’s just crushed/fine coral but will not cut your feet! 😳

Is still sand, that you can walk on. It’s just crushed/fine coral but will not cut your feet! 😳

Unfortunately I've never been able to afford a trip to the Maldives so I wouldn't know. I'm obviously safer staying at home and wearing shoes...

Maldivian beaches are coral. You can cut your feet to shreds walking around barefoot.

(Missing point of the thread entirely!)

I don't think OP doesn't realise how lucky she is, just surprised that on her large income she can't afford more things. I reckon if you asked a bunch of people what lifestyle they think they would have with a household income of 180k they would say large 4/5 bed detached, private school, at least 1 new car and multiple holidays per year. For most that's probably not realistic, especially now that cars and holidays have gone up so much. I think you have to compromise on at least one thing. Private school around me is around 2k per child per month. A mortgage of 500k over 25 years is almost 3k/month and in many places that only gets you a 3 bed semi.