To feel that breastfeeding is undermined?

That's what did it for me. I was really surprised at the amount of care needed to make a bottle and the risks. Sounds daft but I didn't really spend time around babies before having mine and thought that it was just like using gravy granules. I had no idea that the powder could contain deadly bacteria. It scared me off.

Does it matter what others think? You feed your baby how you want as long as baby is fed. No one gets a medal for breastfeeding it just done

I think it’s even more important to engage when there’s an ulterior motive.

It feels like such a massive thing when you have a newborn but honestly, once they’re older you can’t tell which kids were breastfed and which weren’t - just do what works for you and don’t worry about what other people think.

FF does seem like a complete faff.

Especially with the guidance that every bottle has to be made up fresh, not like the way your Mother and Granny did it doing a batch in the morning and bunging them in the fridge. Heating them up in the pryex jug with boiled water.

You know fridges must be the only things that time hasn't improved. Why are 2020 fridges not as reliable as those of the 1960s and 70s?

I genuinely wanted to avoid formula feeding if I could because I’m lazy and the thought of sterilising bottles, making up the formula constantly, taking bottles out and about, and having to be so organised sounded like a nightmare to me. I accepted that I might need to if breastfeeding didn’t work out, but I was keen to avoid it out of sheer laziness.

When you say you found it 'difficult' for a couple of weeks what do you mean? Do you mean you didn't get it quite right and it wasn't as quick and easy as you'd been led to believe? Or do you mean your baby was literally starving for 2 weeks because it wasn't working?

I think people who are unable to breastfeed definitely do tend to roll their eyes when people like OP say they're so 'proud' they managed to breastfeed. That's great for you, but keep it to yourself, nobody gets a medal and it's certainly not something to centre your self worth on, or deplete that of others.

And there's quite a lot of research that suggests the benefits of breastfeeding have been somewhat overstated.

People have read your posts, it’s just that they can see through them.

Tbf, with how much people exaggerate on MN threads over the 'faff' and confusion of having to FF it could seem FF really is actually more of an achievement if you believe those posters, practically anyway 😬

I don't believe this btw, I just find the conflicting views interesting - BF is an achievement, but it's also very convenient and easy once established and out the earky days, whereas FF always takes ages, is a faff, costly, people often suggest making it up is the most confusing task ever etc.

It's almost like everyone can twist a narrative to support their viewpoint over this never ending debate!

As a BF mum I agree with this. I tried everything to continue BF my first baby, her latch was awful, my supply was low and nothing I seemed to do would work even with lots of support, so at 3 month old I stopped. If people asked if I breastfed I felt like I had to say no, but go onto explain WHY I didn’t because I felt ashamed and didn’t want people to know I chose to ff without a reason (stupid I know)
I then became a formula feeding mum who got triggered by people being positive about breastfeeding as I saw it as a dig. You didn’t work harder, it just worked for your baby/body.

My 2nd baby is still BF at 9 months, latch perfect, supply great. There’s lots of barriers that get in the way of breastfeeding and it can be so hard, some people do have an easier ride with it and I find those who find it easy can never understand the struggles others go through

The trouble is, other women can have put in just as much if not more effort than you, and it hasn’t worked. Or only partially. Breastfeeding success is often about luck, such as having a relatively straightforward birth and no other medical problems, rather than effort.

I had other women say similar things to me. One even told me she loved her baby so had tried really hard to make BFing work, whilst watching me combi-feed at a BFing support group. It was like she thought I didn’t love my baby as much? The reality was formula saved my baby’s life when my milk failed to come in for reasons I could do nothing about.

I have read all your posts. You feel BF is being 'undermined' by people saying FF is 'just as good'. You clearly feel BF is the optimum choice, and really dont need to look very far to find a lot of material that will affirm that for you. Women have recieved very strong messaging of this for at least 30 years now, alongside quite a lot of shaming of those who didnt/couldn't BF. You made that choice to do so, and can be pleased with yourself for that. Meanwhile, women who FF can be reassured that that is OK too.

One of your questions was is formula just as good as breastmilk and the simple answer is no as breastmilk is tailored to your baby, to how hot it is (its why you don't need to give bf babies water when it's hot). But that doesn't mean formula is bad far from it, it sustains babies allows them to thrieve and is a alternative.

Yes bf is tough to establish but it's way easier in the middle of the night or going on a plane trip and making sure you have enough sterilised bottles and you can get our the door easier as the food is literally attached to your body!

I don't know what it is about having children which means people feel the need to judge give unsolicited advice etc. But you need to learn to just smile go oh right this works for us but you do you etc and change the subject.

It'll it's not bf it's weaning, if it's not weaning it's childcare, after childcare it's activities etc etc it never stops so best practice now how to change the subject and not get your emotions triggered because its relentless.

They don’t care. Some people feel superior and others feel inferior about their own feeding choices. Those are the only people who want to ‘debate’ the issue regardless of what they hide behind.

That’s not the truth though, lots of people care how you feed your babies which is why there are constant debates about it. Why they care, I don’t know.

I agree, there is a bit of superiority coming through in your posts op, whether intended or not. That could be why people are getting a bit defensive. It does get FFers back up, which isn't surprising given how they are treated by midwives etc. IME

Sometimes I'll get pulled up on stuff on here and I'll reflect and maybe see the posters have a point, particularly if quite a few postets comment similarly. (I might not admit it on the thread though, depends how much of a dick I've been 😂)

No one is saying you didn't go through effort and expense. If the OP says she's pleased she personally pushed through and managed to bf, that's just about her. It says nothing about your experience and frankly you're the one making assumptions regarding what OP thinks. No where has she even hinted that "everyone else just gave up happily".

This.
You are coming across as superior op and all this ‘oh I just don’t know how to react’ guff feels like stealth boasting. A 6 month old baby being bf is a completely normal thing as I’m sure you know. If people genuinely are questioning it then ‘this is what works for us’ is a perfectly reasonable answer.

The trouble is that “it’s a lot of effort but I achieved it”, which is lovely, can blur into “therefore anyone who didn’t breastfeed just didn’t put in enough effort”, which is not. I quit after a few weeks due to baby wanting to feed 20 hours a day. I was sobbing and exhausted and touched out. I have to work very hard not to read your putting in effort story and react defensively. I accept you probably have to work equally hard not to react defensively when you hear that formula is just as good.

I think this update makes it quite obvious you're getting comments back because of the air of superiority you're presenting when you bring up this subject. I also went to a lot of effort (and huge expense!) researching ways to make it work, to up my non existent supply due to severe dehydration from 9 months of HG. It still didn't work unfortunately and I was devastated when I had to top up with formula to nourish my baby.
Your perseverance worked out, but don't assume everyone else just gave up happily and resorted to formula through lack of effort.