To feel that breastfeeding is undermined?

Of course it is partly good fortune. Your baby could latch. You weren't hit by such severe thrush in the breast that you needed an unapproved drug to get clear, your baby would feed successfully and put on weight, you had a sufficient milk supply, your baby didn't have undiagnosed tongue tie. You didn't suffer from severe split nipples or mastitis.

There is a huge element of luck.

I bf too. I worked hard at it, I had two of the above but I still got lucky because I had a GP who wouldn't give up and supported me.

I'm a single mum but my DS is in independent school because we got lucky again. It still involves a huge amount of work on my part, but I would never dream of using it as a narrative to criticise the efforts of others.

The knowledge that I am doing the best I can for my child is all that matters.

Exactly this! And if you think resources are lacking for BF then bottle feeding support is dire! There is an assumption that bottles just work. Babies need to latch to bottles too but no one checks the latch on bottle fed babies, leading to some very refluxy, colicky babies and stressed out parents thinking it’s something they are doing wrong (often those who already have misplaced guilt that they weren’t able to BF!). Oral function issues are also completely dismissed with FF babies.
You are also faced with stupid messages like “breast feeding is the best way to feed your baby, only give formula under medical advice” literally on everything, everywhere.

There are a lot of benefits to BF. But there are tones for FF too and the messaging is just wrong for all ways of feeding a baby. One of my personal favourites is “breast milk contains everything you need to feed your baby” oh but you will also need to supplement with vitamin D. One of my friends got 4 months into BF before they were told that.

It’s all such nonsense and makes no difference to outcome these days. So well done for persevering with BF, but no one is going to give you a medal I’m afraid because it doesn’t make any sizeable difference. It just means you believe in the benefits of BF enough to go through what you did.

She literally asked you 🙄 stop being over dramatic

Well done for persevering with breastfeeding, it is difficult and you should be proud.
Formula feeding is not always the easy way out though and it is totally fine to ff if that's what a mum chooses. I Bf one and ff my other child. Bf was harder initially, ff was harder in the long run. Also there's no difference in them. No one would be able to point out which one was bf.
Do you have a partner? Have they celebrated you for breast feeding? Beyond that yabu to expect anyone else to.

Here are the key points:

• if you and your baby are alive after the first part of ‘life’ - it’s a win
• if you have no major trauma and can function well and enjoy it sometimes - that’s a win
• if your body works mostly as it should and you can advocate for yourself - that’s a win
• if you share love and joy with your child and they can reciprocate- that’s a win.

the rest is just the fluff of life and the less time you think about what others’ do or don’t do, the better

I will also add that parenting is largely a thankless task- so try to absorb the good and shrug off the bad!!!

I have five children. Not one person has ever asked me outside of a healthcare setting how I am feeding my babies. Ever.

Well there is a point, which has been scientifically proven so there's no need to feel flat about it 😐

This is exactly why op it’s best to say nothing on the subject- chances are you have your own demons; but you don’t know what demons other people are managing and for some people this time of life is full of trauma and extreme stress. If you and your baby have survived, and you are managing well- take the win and enjoy it quietly! x

It's fine to feel proud of persevering through something difficult. Though I know for me I would have found formula feeding more difficult as there's all the hassle of cleaning and sterilising bottles and making up feeds just right. Both my babies had formula sometimes, especially my oldest as I didn't have a good supply to begin with, and even though breastfeeding had its difficulties and hurt a lot, I found bottle feeding harder. So both methods have their difficulties and anyone who persevered through having to get up to make bottles in the middle of the night should feel proud too!

Fair enough if you're exposed to debate, although I still find this really bizarre if someone would do that. But I don't get talking about BF to someone who doesn't BF. I've talked about it when my boobs went rock hard when I first started, and also when it was hurting to my friend who was also BF at the same times as she had her baby the day before mine. But can't say I've ever talked about it with anyone else, it's just not a topic that comes up. Not sure why you'd feel like the bad guy when you're doing the best thing you can for your baby. Perhaps an example might be better this really doesn't make sense at all. Obviously if you're going on about how easy you've found it to someone who didn't find it easy would make you a bit of a dickhead.

Keep all baby feeding stuff to yourself is how I ended up managing because it’s incredibly personal and stressful for everyone whichever route you take and actually sharing one opinion or even your story can cause great offence. So I think it’s honestly best not to share much about our choices on it unless you’re absolutely certain you won’t cause upset - which I think is always likely when it comes to baby feeding decisions!

I took extreme determination for me to persevere with BF my DD, I had little help or advice from professionals but I knew the benefits and wanted to provide that for my DD, luckily I was then able to BF for 9 months.
I’m due second baby in July and hope to do the same again.
I felt pre-judged when literal strangers would ask me “how are you feeding her”, then they’d do this “sigh of relief” when I said BF.
The only people I know who chose not to BF chose alcohol instead because “they had already gone 9 months without a drink”. The others I know really tried but couldn’t or had baby prematurely.

I’m proud I managed to BF, so should you be OP if you feel the same.

OP, how will you like it, if in a few years, someone sees your darling child coming out of her primary school, with 33 to a class, and says 'Is that really the best you can manage? My PFB goes to paradise pre prep down the road, with 12 to a class, organic food and 1-2-1 Italian lessons on Tuesdays."

Because that is the equivalent. Competitive parenting is boring, thoughtless and unkind. Some people are luckier than others. Perhaps be grateful for your good fortune and show a little empathy.!

I don’t think it’s got anything to do with upsetting FF families. Who is it you want to be able to talk about it with and what response are you looking for?

This is strange....you're telling us you're proud of yourself and then saying you feel flat because others don't seem to be proud of you as well. It's great for your baby that you're breastfeesing but why should anyone else be proud of you? I think you just need to be happy that you're doing what works for you and stop trying to get other people (who might have had a really hard time coming to terms with not being able to BF) to care!

What I found is that from the second I became pregnant, suddenly everyone had an opinion/claim on my decisions in a way that I hadn’t experienced before as an adult. Breast/ bottle, cuddle/cot to sleep, disposable/terry nappies, and so on. It doesn’t stop either, with my first two who were pretty easy and no issues behaviour wise it wasn’t too bad. But when I had my son who has asd everyone has an opinion on what I am doing, why my choices are wrong. Weirdly only me not dh.

So leave those conversations to have with other BF families.

Or phase it in a way that you can talk about it in solidarity that feeding a baby is relentless and acknowledge there are struggles and emotions with FF as well which are just as valid.

You are all feeding babies after all.