To feel that breastfeeding is undermined?

This sounds plausible. I definitely have experienced a lot of moaners who never stop bringing up how hard breastfeeding is for them. The same conversation again and again any time someone asks them how they’re doing. I don’t question why someone hypothetical might want to continue breastfeeding, but I sure as hell question why they specifically do.

My kids being privately educated isn’t good fortune either. We worked extremely hard to be in a position to do this. Considerably harder than breastfeeding is, for the record.

But financial fortune isn’t just linked to hard work, people on the NMW work really hard too, you say? Never in this world….can’t be possible! I want recognition for the fact that my work is harder, because I get more money for it.

That is basically what you’re saying.

FF isn’t the easier option. Running downstairs through the night, heating up bottles while small baby screams, worrying about sterilising when out and about or on holiday, worrying about sterilising and temperatures in general….worrying about formula running out…and what if the formula doesn’t agree with the baby and you need special formula? That sounds EXHAUSTING, and so much more stressful than breastfeeding.

I’m sorry that you have some kind of main character syndrome. You’re feeding your baby the way you want to. You’ll dress your baby the way you want to, school them the way you want to, and make many other decisions that you want to in their life.

I say all of this as a mum whose kids have never had a drop of formula, and who is really passionate about breastfeeding. I was confident in my own choice and didn’t care what anyone else said or did. My mind also boggled at how complicated FF sounded, compared to baby cries, whip out boob, baby stops crying.

This.
I get fed up with the constant conversations around it. Feed your baby however you want to, don’t judge others, that’s it really.

I tried very hard to bf my dc but both were c section babies and my milk didn’t come in. I remember having 3 solid days of my dd screaming before thinking wtf are you doing just give her a bottle. I did then persevere with pumping for a further 3 weeks so I had the worst of both worlds before I posted on here in despair and so many kind posters reassured me it was ok to give up. It was like I needed permission.

My stance is breast may be best but our happiness and sanity was better.

I’m starting to feel flat about there being no point to it at all

Why do you need validation from other people? Of course there's a point to it, you know there is - you've said yourself about the benefits of breastfeeding.

Why do you need other people to say that for you to think there's a point? Who cares? You did what was best for you and your child.

Nope. As a mum, as usual, you get judged no matter what you do.

Breastfeeding isn't always ideal in modern life. We don't have lots of family living under one roof to help with other children. People need to return to work etc... so that's why there is becoming more understanding of people choosing formula.

I understand the science but people can have their own opinion on BF and it's benefits through their own experiences. I haven't personally seen a difference in the children I know depending on how they were fed. And it's ok for me to feel that way.

Too much policing and judgement with feeding babies imo. If people want to think formula is good enough for their children, then let them? If you agree breast is best and want to do it exclusively, then that's absolutely fine. Everyone has a different way of thinking.

Well that person is weird. Next time respond back with, why wouldn't I continue? If she's got an issue, don't make it your issue. She's truly stupid if she's trying to make you feel bad for BF, but I really don't think anyone would do this, so perhaps you're misreading the situation

BF is fine. FF is fine. Both have their practical challenges and emotional burden. It’s not a competition and smug posts like yours are what drive the discord and issues in discussions online. Women can choose to feed however they want, and there is no need for judgement or celebration either way.

Are you familiar with the statistics regarding SIDS rates in breastfed vs FF babies?

If you truly can’t breastfeed, then that’s what formula is there for. It shouldn’t be chosen for convenience or preference.

I have a severely disabled child who was breast fed. He regressed at 14 months old. He is now 9, he's spoon fed and wearing nappies. Life is hard, do what works for you and mind your own business!

There’s plenty of women who tried just as hard as you or harder and it still couldn’t work for them so yes it is good fortune. You come across as obnoxiously smug.

but I’m not saying I want to talk about it constantly - it’s more being exposed to conversation/debate about it and feeling as though I’m the bad guy in that so have to keep my mouth shut about my experience

alternatively op, people are just bored by you wanting to talk about it.

i breastfed.
end of.
i really didn’t want to spend time chatting about it and I’d have distanced myself from as other mother wanting to have a long conversation or worse still debate about it

With kindness, there is very little point at all. The benefits of BFing are limited and infinitesimally small. If you wanted to BF, then it's great that you fed your baby the way that worked best for you, and you can be proud that you did something hard. Well done!

I can see both sides of this having done both. I felt incredibly judged when it didn’t work out with my firstborn so was utterly amazed to feel even more judgment for making it work with my second! Without me saying a word, mothers of all ages felt the need to tell me how they fed their babies 30 sometimes 40 years ago. I smiled politely and nodded along but felt like saying “I truly don’t care, I wanted to breastfeed so am doing it”.
I think everyone would do well to remember that it’s not necessarily breastfeeding mothers who are judging how you feed your baby, we are not responsible for how the midwives are told to promote it nor what’s said elsewhere.
My second born is now in their teens and I genuinely can tell absolutely zero difference between the two. What I can remember is how unbelievably hard it was to breastfeed sometimes with the pain, night wakings and judgment from people saying “formula is just as good you know”. I wish people would just leave others to feed their children however they want - it can be such a sensitive subject.

Breastfeeding is fine, formula feeding is fine.
babies who are fed are best.

I think too many mummy’s get caught up in wanting praise for feeding their babies.
just feed the baby and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks

I’m starting to feel flat about there being no point to it at all

are you really that easily swayed op?
you’re at the very start of your parenting journey and you seem to be incredibly vulnerable and easily influenced

I’m saying this as a mum who BF…..if you are proud then that’s all that matters. You seem to be seeking validation from others about how you choose to feed. Bluntly, get over it.

In the greater scheme of things it doesn’t matter at all how you feed as long as you feed. I’ve been a teacher for 15ish years, couldn’t tell you the children that were breastfed v formal fed. By 14 they are all eating Haribo any way so it really doesn’t matter.

This feels a really smug post to me. Its great you've managed it but for some women they try their hardest to breast feed and it just doesn't work. They try and try but baby is distressed, not gaining weight and they're distressed. At the end of the day grown adults don't put on their cv how they were fed, it's not something we should even need to discuss. Good for you breast feeding but why do we need a post about it 🤯
No one judges you op and no one should judge women for bottle feeding as no one knows why they've chosen that route.
For the record I tried my best with dd1 she just wouldn't latch on wasn't feeding, I was becoming more and more depressed and switching to formula was the best choice I made. She's 8 now and doing just fine 😁

Why do you need to bang on about it and seek validation? Breast feeding is one of the least important parts to raising a child to adulthood. Maybe come back in 18 years time, I’m not sure you’ll want your breast feeding to be put on a pedestal then.

So you want to tell me that I should have just tried harder.

I spent hundreds of pounds on lactation consultants and supplements and osteopathic appointments. Paid for my DC to have a posterior tongue tie divided twice, the second one causing my baby to scream so much that he burst blood vessels in his eyes. Spent more time triple feeding and pumping than I did sleeping. Cluster fed all afternoon and then power pumped in the middle of the night when hormones were highest. Struggled with taping feeding tubes to my breasts to avoid giving bottles. Ended up being prescribed a medication which has the side effect listed of sudden cardiac death.

After all that I got to watch my baby drop through the centile chart, screaming all the time, yellow with jaundice, wetting maybe 1-2 nappies a day. Only after introducing formula did his weight stabilise and start rising, he slept for more than 30 minute stretches, his jaundice started resolving and he started creating plenty of heavy wet nappies.

Tell me where I should have tried harder before introducing bottles of formula. Bottles which come from a can with capital letters on the back BREAST IS BEST. We know we're not doing the best by our children, but what's the alternative? Try harder?

Babies deserve happy. Relaxed mothers. Your breastfeeding journey sounds traumatic tbh. It is not a competition or some lifetime achievement. However I wonder if those close to you secretly wish you'd given up and enjoyed those early months.

Yeah I agree with you here. I think breastfeeding has a lot more emotions attached to it than whether you give your kids plenty of fruit and veg/a varied diet though - because it gets mixed up with all the wild postpartum hormones women have, and it's solely on the mother, unlike feeding when they're older. Imo it should be seen more as the same thing.

I also think "fed is best" is still a necessary mantra. I personally have two friends who persevered with breastfeeding despite a low supply and their babies ended up in hospital because they were getting such little food. So I think healthcare professionals should be pushing "fed is best" more - as obviously giving baby any food is better than starving them, but some people get a bit obsessive about wanting to exclusively bf.