To feel that breastfeeding is undermined?

Yes, we home educate, although we've never experienced it I'm under the impression that most parents of secondary aged kids don't know the other parents in the cohort whereas we do. That's all I meant really!

To be fair, FF isn’t always easy. My first born was premature and was in hospital for ages learning to take a bottle. The day he took a full 90ml bottle without choking or vomiting was the proudest day ever for me and I high-fived the nurses. I think as a parent, there are loads of choices you make and you have to be happy and confident that it’s the right thing for you and your kids and stop giving it a second thought what anyone else might think. I’m proud that my now 3 year old ate sea bass and egg fried rice at the weekend and that is something I persevere with because I think diet is so important but I don’t talk about it with anyone in real life (probably because most people honestly don’t care what your kids eat)

This is a long time ago now but I felt judged for both options. I FF my first after a traumatic birth and no help establishing feeding from midwives.

When I went out with my bottles I came under fire from the Breastapo.
They would be super nice but always wanted to educate me on the benefits of BF, how FF was damaging (!) and how to re-establish feeding after a break etc. I stopped going to NCT meetings because of them. I know it's not damaging! - DS is an adult now and absolutely fine but I did feel guilty.
My second was born in a different country and the culture in hospital was so different. Breast-feeding (if you wanted to) was established before you went home. However, doing it out and about was frowned on and I was asked to move a few times and told I should use bottles! So I felt judged for that choice too. You really can't win. Someone always has an opinion.

At least it's better these days - no-one can tell you to stop BF or they are breaking the law.

Exactly

and op is suggesting that this is a regular and pervasive thing, to such an extent that it’s making her feel like “no point”!!

I mean… surely by now the chat has well and truly moved on from this utterly boring issue!

Well I was exclusively breastfed for a year and don't think I have ever had any of the benefits from the statistics. My exclusively formula fed husband never gets ill, fit, has a great job, very clever.

Stastics aren't always significant and don't always translate to real life.

I don't judge anyone who puts the effort into breastfeeding, it's a great thing to do. But don't harp onto others about the benefits because that’s YOUR personal decision and others can do as they please.

I did a mixture of both and tbh it was FF that received the negative judgement. The pro breast feed lobby can be very militant about it, without recognising that bf can be really hard and quite painful for many women. There was an undertone of it not mattering if the mum suffered so long as the baby got breast milk.
My last child was 17 years ago and my health visitor made me feel like shit because I couldn't sit in bed all day, eating and resting, so my milk supply would increase - I don't know who she thought would be looking after my other dc while I did that all day!

If you live in a country with clean water and access to sterilising equipment, I honestly don't think bf is the thing which makes the most difference to children's outcomes, esp once you're past the initial colostrum and passing immunity stage. Maternal wealth and health are probably bigger indicators of outcome.
In short, I don't think people should feel pride or shame either way.

Then they’re bad parents. That’s no reflection on the enormous health benefits of breastfeeding.

This is really weird at a baby group! And if they are asking you if your baby is only 6 months, because you can tell them WHO recommends until 2 years of age, which I'm sure is common knowledge unless these people are really thick or have an agenda. I'd be going to another group, that is not normal at all, it's really not a thing to care or ask questions about.

Are you honestly feeling so “flat” that you’re considering jacking it in? Or was that hyperbole?

surely you’re weaning or about to now?

you are giving the impression now that this issue is being thrust upon you. A touch different from your Op!

They really should formula feed if their baby is not thriving and mother or baby or both are miserable. Struggling with breast feeding can bring all sorts of risks. My PND group was full of mums struggling with it who should have switched to formula far earlier.

Some people find breast feeding incredibly difficult without co sleeping, I was one.

I am the parent of adults and the choice between formula and breast feeding is the single least important parenting choice I’ve made in 21 years.

No I know they shouldn't, I didn't. But every person I know who bf co-slept, so it's way more common than in FF babies

@Olive96 you’re not alone in this. Once a baby is 6 months the questions about when you’re stopping come out… and the scapegoating. Parents feel like they can’t possibly say they enjoy breastfeeding or that it is a parenting tool that works for them.

I work with lots of parents and tbh, the decisions we make as parents are so wrapped up in emotions. As new parents our sense of self shifts so dramatically. It’s been likened to a second adolescence. When someone else makes a decision that is different to ours it can feel like a judgement. This can continue for decades (anyone had a grandparents say ‘we didn’t do that you turned out fine.’) Like it or not we do seek validation of our choices.

As for being proud of breastfeeding or overcoming challenges… yes be proud. It’s your emotion feel it.

I had a friend run the London marathon yesterday, we’re both runners. She’s trained so hard and overcome so much to run that race yesterday. Should she feel proud? Hell yeah she should. It doesnt mean im any less, or a worse runner because I haven’t run a marathon.

Fed is best.

Please please don't let it get to you. Breast is great if you can do it. But not everyone can. Formula is hard work in a different way.

Baby days are short, try to enjoy these days because they won't last long. You'll be weaning and dealing with a toddler before you know it.

Be proud that you've managed to create a baby 👶 woman that is something special!

Enjoy your baby, fed is best!

No one should be co-sleeping!

Sorry?by HE I meant home educators

You got me! Although the clue was probably in that I know the parents of my DS's friends 🤣

As someone who had a horrendous time breastfeeding and persevered, I don’t share your experience at all.

Whenever I’ve spoken with professionals or other mothers, I only got approving comments. I’ve never had anyone say I should have given up and used formula. However, I don’t feel the need to go on about it or make comparisons. Because I know how hard it can be and I acknowledge that I was in a privileged position to be able to continue (not everyone can afford to hire hospital grade breast pumps for months and buy lots of different supplements, gels and whatnot to see what helps).

Maybe you share your experience in a way that comes across as regret, that’s why you get that response.

I didn’t co-sleep, again, because I wanted my baby to live. No one should be co-sleeping. No one should be FF when they could be breastfeeding.

When our eldest son was around six months old and some friends asked how he was, I replied 'He's still alive'.

A couple of people replied that they considered that to be 'the bare minimum' or 'low expectations'.

I felt that was a major fucking accomplishment.

Banging on, not feeding said 11 year olds!

People who actively choose formula over breast must have some kind of madness if they actually look at the ingredients list.

however, I would say the UK pushes breast more

HE I bet

bloomin heck.

are you weaning?

op, the very fact you feel so flat and considering giving up because of this would indicate you maybe have bigger issues to address regarding your confidence