To feel that breastfeeding is undermined?

In these groups op, what’s roughly ratio of FF to BF?

Have you never encountered a study performed on non-human primates?

Where do you live OP?

I am SE. Yes we spoke about feeding in newborn days but in a vaguely interested tired way and then moved on pretty sharpish

by 6 months it was well and truly about weaning

The answer is simply. "It works for me". Op you are moving in rhe wrong circles. I can safely say that with any baby group etc no one batted an eyelid as to how other babies were fed.
And now they are grown no one can tell the difference how they were fed as babies just do what works for you.

I found other mums very supportive of everyone’s choice to how they wanted to feed to their babies.

I had bad experiences with my own mother and people who were from a different generation. The constant “they will sleep better if you feed them formula” or “I stopped breastfeeding because of the biting” or “anything over 1 years is getting a bit old don’t you think”

Op

I suspect no one wants to talk about it
so if you go today and say you’re tired and someone says “give a bottle”. They don’t actually give a damn or went to talk about how you feed.

either jack in these odd baby groups that 6 months on are still navel gazing about this

or just smile and nod and then move the conversation on

I couldn’t breastfeed my first and I decided to go straight to formula for my second. No one commented or gives a crap how I feed him. Nor do I care how other people feed their babies. It’s only important to you. I have many friends who breastfeed but they don’t go on about it nor do they seem bothered what I do. I didn’t find I was judged for ff but then I didn’t feel insecure about it.

But I think that’s fine??? You’re allowed to judge me for sending my 1 year old to childcare. I stand by my decision. You’re also allowed to be proud for dedicating your life to your child in the way that you think is best.
but if people keep asking you “why are you still breastfeeding” it’s hard to answer without saying….i think it is better for babies.

I knew 100% l didn't want to breast feed but honestly, anyone who wants to, good for them.

@Olive96 It’s so hard to talk about it so I would not bother. You were looking for validation and you did come across as smug, if flat, because you felt you were not getting the praise you deserve. It’s starting the conversation from attending to be superior. I’d just do what you can and chill out. As all mums should. No one really cares I’m afraid.

OP, i totally get it.
we live in a culture where bottle feeding is the default (thanks to formula companies) and breastfeeding is seen as the “not default” choice. This means that people
love to remark on it. I found not so much when baby was under 6 months but certainly then the comments started “are you STILL breastfeeding?” “How long to do plan to keep that child on the boob for????” and it too found it really hard as I was being asked to justify my choice. The real reason for my choice is that I believe human babies should be fed human milk if at all possible. But that feels like something people here would call “shaming” and “smug”.

like you, I worked hard to BF and found it very very hard being the only person who could feed my baby, but I continued for the benefit of my baby. I didn’t want to go around talking about it BUT I felt I had to keep it secret. So mothers would be talking about bottles, about sterilisers etc and I would be silent and then when it got weird and they said what bottles do you use and I said “I don’t use bottles, he’s breastfed” they looked at me with this mixture of horror and disgust.
I felt judged by pro-formula society constantly. I don’t need validation but I did feel horrible that people behaved as though I was being smug just by breastfeeding or by daring to make reference to it in conversation!

Breastmilk as a substance is obviously superior to formula for human babies. I don’t know why people lie to themselves that this isn’t true.

That’s not to say that breastfeeding is always the better decision for every individual baby and mum.

You should be proud of your efforts to BF, it’s not easy and I don’t know why HCPs lie and say it is easy and doesn’t hurt.

How you feed your baby in infancy is such a small part of parenting and when you look at the many decisions and choices you’ll make throughout parenthood, it’s quite far down the pecking order of what’s actually important and what makes a measurable difference to their lives. So you SHOULD be proud and it does make a difference on a population level, but don’t get too bogged down in the feeding thing either way. Trickier things are yet to come.

OP you said you’re returning to work when your baby is one.

Either you are choosing to do this for yourself, or you have no choice and you have to. I judge you for it because I don’t think children should be in childcare until they are 3. It’s better for them to be with their primary caregiver until that age.

Do you see the parallels with breastfeeding? You feel pride that you are breastfeeding your baby, but why? There will be so many other things you are doing that can be argued aren’t the best for your child.

Just do your own thing, stop navel gazing about it, and carry on.

YANBU.

I learnt quite early on to not mention I was breastfeeding if I was with formula feeding mothers. I was made to feel ashamed about making the decision and received quite a lot of unnecessary digs.

And God forbid I made any comment about any difficulties I was having…..the usual reaction I got was a sneer and them telling me they “couldn’t be doing with any of that” and that is why they formula fed, followed by insinuations that I was stupid to breastfeed because formula was just as good.

It was very, very disheartening and quite often it made me feel shit about myself.

Attending breastfeeding groups was my saviour really, it was the only place I could go to for any kind of support or empathy, or not be criticised or laughed at for making the decision to breastfeed instead of bottle feed.

I’m sure women who chose to bottle feed will say they experienced the exact same thing from breastfeeding mothers, but seeing as the numbers of babies being formula fed far outweighs the number of babies being breastfed, the breastfeeding mothers are certainly the minority. Formula feeding is overwhelmingly the most common form of feeding a baby and I think that women who breastfeed, and being in the minority group, have to deal with a lot of misunderstanding, criticism and judgement towards them.

Whatever you do is wrong. Women will
always get that message. Just do what’s best for you and ignore other people’s opinions

@Olive96 I think you’re being a bit disrespectful here as you really don’t know other people’s stories. For example, if you have had an illness, traumatic birth or other conditions, it can much harder to breastfeed. With respect to yourself, you managed to have enough supply! Ok, you worked hard for it but other mums on here (myself included) would have done everything you did and more to get their supply up and would have wanted to breastfeed desperately and just couldn’t! Are you saying you’re ‘better’ in some way because you believe you worked harder to do it than others? I am really failing to see your point here! Sorry I really hope you don’t think I’m shaming you are goading you in any way, I am just getting a point across because your post has hurt my feelings to be honest! And of course that’s on me, and you are absolutely entitled to your own opinions x

I just wish people didn’t care how I fed mine

they don’t. They really really really don’t

maybe mildly curious early on having had a baby

I’m fine. I’m not feeling very flat and wanting to give something up. Whoops… nor are you!

I think you are massively exaggerating!

in any event, you have a school aged child or thereabouts…. Just socialise with those mums more as I’d hazard a guess the very last thing they’re navel gazing about is how they fed their child years ago!

That study is about monkeys. No offence, but I don't think you have the skills and training necessary to understand the scientific literature.