DH night out - aibu

You should have just used the time for yourself, had a nice bath, early night etc YABU

I think the thing is, would you have given him grief or huffiness if he had originally said he would be gone for a few hours? That might go some way to explaining why he might downplay what's happening. You're being a bit weird snd controlling tbh. If he goes out, just chill and relax. Doesn't seem like he's out all the time

if he normally says an hour is it only an hour? DH and I established early on it’s never just an hour and better to be upfront about that

My time: 6pm means 5.59pm
Back at three means: back at 2.59pm

DH's time: 6pm means about 7.30p.
Back at 7pm, means Back between 9pm and 10pm.

If I need him at a specific time, I have to be very explicit and send a text reminder. I always tell him a bit earlier than I need him. Punctuality is NOT an issue in his working life. It annoys me that family time has never been as valued as professional time.

However @Brieagain I think you were a bit unreasonable. An hour for a drink with a friend isn't long enough. It needs two hours plus the getting there and getting back, he left well before closing, wasn't drunk and home before bed time. He didn't do what he said but it's one of those where what is said is never going to be reality.

This. These evenings sound more precious to you than to him. It's ok to break the routine sometimes for something like a friend coming back for a few days. I don't get people who can't seem to chill without their oh. You should have got something nice to eat and enjoyed having control of the remote

Agree with others - YABU OP. Let this one go.

Same! Dc in bed... full control over tv and not having to share any snacks I make? Bliss!!

Why do you need DH to relax and watch TV? I love an evening alone doing my own thing.

He shouldn't have said an hour. Even one drink takes more than an hr in my experience when you factor in getting served at the bar and perhaps finding a table etc. An hr I'd say you can fit coffee at a friend's into perhaps. It was to be at least two hours. Perhaps he used it thinking you'd consider it'd be longer than that, or factoring getting there and back

He should've said he'd be out all evening and then you'd be pleasantly surprised that he wasn't back later than 10pm.

However in his defense considering all of the above I think you were also being unrealistic.

In that scenario I would have expected an hour to turn into a few more hours. As I one off I would not have minded.

I think YABU in the sense you can just chill on your own, he doesn’t really have to be there every single Sunday evening.

However it pisses me off when people say “1 hour” and it’s 3, 4, 5 hours. Just say you’re not sure ffs.

Something tells me you ‘would mind’ if he’d said he was going out for 3 hours. Sorry, OP.

I voted yanbu because I hate it when DH says he'll be x time, or home by x time and then doesn't. I find it annoying.

But, going out for a few hours of a Sunday evening is fine and I'd have just got on with my evening, no bother.

But I hear you, if he wasn't going to be an hour he should have just said so. I pointed out to my DH that if I told him ill be home by 10pm then not rock up till 2am with no contact he'd be worried and pissed too. He admitted he would be and took my point..

YABU. It's not like he went on some wild night out. He was out from 7-10! If I am right all he was missing out on was chill time at home with you? Again it's not like he abandoned you with screaming kids to sort and it's not his fault you chose to do jobs.
You could still have your chill time and chose to watch something he wouldn't normally want to.
Is Sunday night the only night you have together? You mention working full time, does he also work same hours or does he work nights so you alternate childcare? If you see each other other evenings then you are being very OTT.

I like this rule, never heard it before but it makes perfect sense.

I'm using this . .

I thought it was going to be 'he's still not home....should I call police?!'

Yes unreasonable. An hour is nothing of course it would have been a bit longer. You should have chilled on your own. It’s just one night.

Why would he have to say anything surley the OP is grown up enough to get on with her own things and not be sat around waiting for his return?

Given that it sounds like Steve isn’t always about, your DH wanted to catch up with his friend. I’m sure you can manage one precious Sunday evening without him. When someone says to me they will he an hour, I know it won’t be. Unless he does this every evening, you’re being hugely unreasonable and unfair. Very controlling behaviour being angry with someone who went out with a friend, no doubt so he thinks twice about it another time.

He was silly to say he's going out for an hour to catch up with a friend who lives away. No one goes out for an hour!!
You were equally silly to believe it. He stayed out very little time and it's no big deal. I don't think Sunday evenings should be such a big deal. You can do your own thing once in a while rather than expect him to come back early just so you can watch TV together!
If you have to be up so early, why are you on Mumsnet at 3am? Different time zone?

I thought you were going to say he rolled in at like 2am , come on a few hours once in a while is a nothing thing, you need to let it go.

If someone tells me they'll be out for an hour, I think they'll be out for an hour. Especially of its an evening we usually have plans to spend time together. I'd plan to do my own thing for an hour and then expect them back. I wouldn't start watching a film etc because I'd be waiting until they got back.

He should have at least messaged you. YANBU.

Do you listen to Capital radio by any chance? 😂
I was about to comment the exact same thing!

No that would piss me off - he gets to see the friend every couple of weeks, if he wants to go out for three hours can't he be a fucking adult and say he's going out for three hours? Why pretend it's just an hour?!

When you said 'go early we can watch something later when you get back' why couldn't he have said then 'ah no actually I'll be two or three hours so there won't be time'.

It was your choice what you did, I would have thought DH was out so I would have relaxed at home myself, if I said I was only go to be an hour that may have been my intention at the time but I would not want my husband clock watching at home so why would it be different the other way around (*taking away the usual MN double standard that is)