DH night out - aibu

Massively unreasonable. You sound a bit of a nightmare tbh. I expect he said he'd just be an hour because if he'd been honest and said he wanted to go out for a few drinks there would have been an issue.

Did you really expect him just to go out for an hour though. Surely that was never going to happen and you should have just gone to bed. I honestly do think you are being unreasonable, sorry!

He’s done nothing wrong here and married people with children shouldn’t need to feel scared for still wanting to have friends and a social life.

There’s a huge difference between your DH popping out on a Sunday evening to catch up with a friend he doesn’t get the chance to see often and him going out every Saturday night drinking heavily and not turning up until Sunday AM.

You should also be making the effort to maintain your friendships and social life every so often because one day when you’re children are grown and more independent you’ll look around and everyone will have moved on because you dropped them.

Well ‘popping out for an hour’ is more like a figure of speech, isn’t it? Someone said up thread That by the time you get to the pub, get seated, chitchat and Order that’s easily 45 minutes of your time already gone.

OP, does he go out all the time? If not, YABVVVVU. If he goes out, let’s say, three times a week - I’d see your point.

I don’t really understand why you didn’t just go to bed if you were flagging? Why did you need to wait up for him to come back?

He should have let you know it was over running and apologised. In this house we keep our word - where possible - and would send a respectful message if things changed.

This is the least outrageous 'hubby has gone out for the night' post I've ever seen.

7pm until 10? Not 3? Not coming home blind drunk? Not knocking loudly and waking everyone up? Not throwing up on the sofa?

I can't believe you'd even think to complain!

Totally irrelevant

What would your response have been if he had originally said going out a few hours would you have kicked off, moaned at him? If yes this probably explains why he said it would just be an hour....

This.
YABU, don’t let it cause any ill feeling between you. I thought when I opened the thread you were going to say he’d stayed out all night and came in wankered at school run time. 10pm/3 hours is nothing.
If my husband gave me a time limit when I was going out with a friend I’d be really upset.

You’re entitled to be irritated by whatever you like but he hasn’t done anything wrong at all & you are just being petty about it. 3/4 hours with a mate is no time if you’re catching up.

I think this is a communication issue. When DH said 1 hour you expected that, when in his head he was an hour or so ( hence the about at the end of the sentence). When you raised it when he got back he felt hard done by as he was only out for a bit, whereas in your head he was late. Neither are unreasonable. Just need to work on how these things are communicated. I know my DH is never just an hour when he says he will be so I tend to ask for a text when he is leaving. He is out for a meal tonight, he has said it won’t be a late one but I know it will be later than whatever time he estimates as he is rubbish at estimating how long things will take.

If he had said he was going out for the evening would you have kicked off?

I get it - but I think you need to let this go. Presumably he doesn’t see “Steve” much which warrants a last minute catch up.

@SallyWD she was looking forward to spend the evening with him after a hectic week and weekend and before starting a new hectic week. That’s valid. He can go out tomorrow. Her needs and wants matter too. It sounds like the conversation was : hey do you mind if I go see Steve? And actually, that particular evening she did mind and that’s ok.

I agree with you, OP, why say an hour when you don’t mean an hour? My DH does it with golf, and I pull him up on it every time! I have no problem if he’s popping to the range or playing 18 holes, by don’t say ‘an hour’ if you know it’s going to be longer than that!

Blimey, you'd have said "not today"? Are you his mum? My DH doesn't have to get my permission to see a friend. If he wants to see a friend, he can and vice versa. Obviously it's a different issue if your partner is out every night but this doesn't seem to be the case.
It's not like OP and her DH had any plans, apart from watching TV.

Nobody ever goes out for one hour, it is a euphemism for 2-3 hours. You shouldn't have hung around waiting for him. As long as he isn't constantly missing Sunday evenings (if they are important) then I would be happy for him to catch up with friend.

I voted as YABU as I can’t imagine a scenario where I’m going out with someone and even if it’s quick coffee I’m back within an hour. It’s simply unrealistic. However, since you added that ‘Steve’ is back every 2 wks for few days, aka he’s there every other week, I would have said not today for the catch up.

How often do you go out with your friends OP? Feel like the annoyance is due to an imbalance.

I don’t think I would ever tell my husband how much time he could spend with a friend if he doesn’t see him that often. I am perfectly happy to spend an evening alone though even when we had young children and I was working. YABU

Going off my experience with DH, if he says he’s popping out for an hour in the evening, that means he’ll be back after closing time.

Because my bet is OP would of given him shit for it

This. Plans change. Don't worry about it.

Do you think he said an hour (and possibly meant it when he said it) and he knows that you wouldn't like him going out due to how you feel about Sunday evenings ?

Honestly it don't think staying out until 10 pm is at all a big deal.