To feel jealous of a puppy?

If you have two cats do you really want the puppy coming over? I can see why you’re annoyed. And I love pets! It’s changed the dynamic of the relationship.

Actually I can see where you are coming from - he's basically thrown a spanner into your usual life without so much as a by your leave and is expecting you tp roll with it. My advice op would be to roll with it ONLY as much as you a prepared to and no more.... if you want to go on an evening bike ride or a trip abroad do it - don't make his new responsibility yours!

Lol, 'I have two cats and kids, so give them a lot of attention... but because my partner got a puppy, I'm worried he's no longer going to give me his undivided attention'.

If a boyfriend of 1 year thought he had any say in whether I got a pet or not it would definitely be over between us. You seem to think he should be completely at yours and your kids disposal and not have any of his own responsibilities that could interfere with how flexible he can be to work around you. This is a very young relationship and if it is going to have any chance of surviving you need to let him have autonomy of his life and not try to slot him into yours.

You have kids and cats and I imagine that much consideration needs to be given to your own responsibilities.

Your boyfriend gets a puppy and you burst into tears..! I suspect this is coming from a selfish place OP, rather than you being triggered over puppy and demise of your marriage. It sounds like this relationship works very much on your terms and this new puppy has just changed all that.

I kinda get you. You had a nice relationship before, that worked for you, and involved doing things, semi-living together and having a nice life. Now there’s a puppy, things will change.

Akso, has he thought this out? Ie. The practicalities. Whos going to look after the puppy when he’s at work? Do you want a puppy staying at your place? Etc The spontaneous days out have gone.

We’ve got a dog. It’s one of the most stressful things we have done. He’s now two and easier but it’s confined us a lot.

I’d be worried that he got a dog so easily also.

Would you not say your relationship is 'impulsive' though?
Only been together a year, yet he's met your kids, is living with them when you have them, youre living at his when theyre not.....
after only seeing each other for a year you think he should be consulting you in all his plans?

This. It sounds like you are revolving your life too much around this man too and depending on him for your entire social life which isn't healthy. You need to have more balance. See friends, do stuff with them as well then this sort of thing won't matter as much

my life has changed massively without my consent

Thats so dramatic! Your emotions are way over the top here. Maybe with him being impulsive and you seeing the relationship as a much more emotional thing than he does, it means you are a little less compatible or comfortable than you thought.

So many drama llamas on MN… 🙄

You are probably just internally remembering your divorce and it's triggered lots of bad feelings. However you are being unreasonable especially as you don't live together. And you have children. If you can't get over this you should break up as you are being unfair to this man. Anyway, who can resist a puppy!
For context, I got quite upset and depressed when my DD had a baby as it brought back lots of suppressed memories of marital problems we had when last baby was born.

How will a dog friendly air bnb help? I’ve stayed in dozens and they all say the dog can’t be left alone in the property (even if it was reasonable to leave a young puppy for hours while you attend a wedding, which it isn’t)

Maybe he did this as he feels settled with you and wanted to bring a dog to the relationship now.
You have to bide your time. Ddog might be a cute bundle of lovable fun and you and DCs love having it round or a yappy bad tempered horror. This will affect how things go.

Is everything else okay? Your reaction is not usual and I’d be looking to see what’s behind it.

yes, he did this on his own, no discussion with you.
seems rather independent, is he always very independent

YAVU to be jealous of a small puppy.

YADNU to think your boyfriend is a twat. No good breeder sells a puppy to someone who they have only met once. No good breeder has pups available. No good breeder sells a dog to someone without doing proper checks and without meeting everyone in the household to be sure there are no risk factors.

Your DP is a moron. Don’t feel jealous of the puppy - feel sorry for it, it’s had a shitty start in life and it’s about to get shitter.

Yanbu - dogs DO massively change your life, but he doesnt live with you so luckily if you dont like the lifestyle you can bail.

Do you really want the puppy at yours all the time?

😂😂😂
My life has changed massively!
I burst into tears!
These are not normal reactions.

If your marriage didn't survive the puppy days, how could you possibly say you would be "happy and said it’s a good idea" with your bf of 365 days?
You seem to be creating this life in your head, one that needs to meet your expectations. He wanted a dog for years, you only see it as how it will affect this potential life.
You don't live together despite spending nights together, so it's really up to him what he buys or has in his house, be that animal vegetable or mineral.

He has got the dog, he wants, this is his decision it’s not your responsibility at all.

can’t see why this should mean no bike rides etc, you are overthinking it a bit.

with regard to holidays I am sure Dp will be able to make suitable arrangements for his dogs care.

How selfish of you.

I don't think you're being unreasonable here op. I think jealousy is not the right word but I think more a feeling of being shut out.

If the relationship is serious enough for you both to be discussing moving in together then yes I think it's reasonable to expect decisions like getting a dog to be made together. Especially if it means cancelling YOUR plans and especially if he was serious about moving in with you and two cats.

To be honest I would wait until the dust settles, you see how you feel and he gets over the initial excitement and then I'd have an honest discussion about where you both see the relationship going and timeline to that to check you're on the same page - because that's really what the issue here is rather than the dog itself. You expected to be treated as an equal part of a team because that's the direction he's told you things are going and it was jarring for you to see him act in such an impulsive and unilateral way without considering you and your future plans.

It's crap that he sprung this on you. It sounds like you pretty much live together a lot of the time.....a dog is a very big deal and changes the dynamics of the household, and places restrictions on your time together. He's going to be focussed on the puppy isn't he, for some time to come. Like, at least a year of intensive time raising the pup. I'd be hurt and confused, because he views the relationship differently to how you view it.

100%

I'm confused about you and ex taking turns walking dog instead of talking. Why not walk dog together and talk?