To feel jealous of a puppy?

With all respect @LandSharksAnonymous , because I do really respect your experience and perspective as a breeder: it's really not that unusual to be able to meet the sire, especially for rare breeds (the community is very tight and people are willing to travel). I own a Kooiker and the breeder organised a "meet the families" day when the pups were 7 weeks old, and she also invited the stud and his owners, they came from Holland because they were curious to meet the puppies and the owners.
I contacted her to ask when she was planning her next litter shortly before the pups were born. She did have a wait list, but we've been lucky to not have to wait at all, as it turned out to be a big litter (11!) with eight males (most people prefer females). We've been vetted, of course. The Kooiker community is tiny, and she's definitely not a puppy farmer. So while your opinion and experience is very valuable, I think you could try to accept that other approaches are also feasible and not necessarily harmful.

Sorry for the offtopic.

Exactly! And this man spends most of his time at OP’s, so likely expects the puppy to be with him at OP’s.

I bet OP will end up cleaning up puppy accidents and walking it.

This! To all those airily suggesting those things, they need endless hassle and ££££. And owners are always reluctant to leave the dog.
I have a friend I never see now because she doesn’t want to use those services and can’t spontaneously join us (as those other who have kids every other week can -on their weeks/weekends off.) The OP’s bf has been able up meet her child-free in her time off -she won’t ever get that from him now.

My friends DH has just got a puppy and she’s never been keen. And yes, there are dog sitters, house sitter that can be used for holidays, nights out etc, her problem is that he now doesn’t want to use these facilities. He doesn’t want to leave the dog alone. It has changed their relationship, and she now holidays a lot more with friends as he simply doesn’t want to leave the dog.

Sigh. @EmmaJane2025

I AM a breeder - that was very clear from
my post. I’d be a pretty poor puppy farmer at one litter every two years or less! 😂😂😂 I don’t think you understand that people with wait lists have wait lists because they’re good breeders (I.e they rarely breed and do so very selectively) not because they are puppy farmers. Puppy farmers churn out puppies every few months, good breeders only one every few years (hence the wait list). You then say that your breeder sold to previous owners, which would imply those people waited for puppies specifically from your breeder - which by your logic makes her a puppy farmer?

I find it incredibly interesting you claim you met both parents AND spoke to the owner of the stud - who is apparently not owner by the owner of the bitch. Really Unusual for the stud to live so close to the bitch, and be owned by someone else, and be amenable to meeting and speaking with prospective owners. Equally surprising that owners from previous litters are willing to speak. That’s incredible good luck - you might want to invest in an Euromillions ticket.

Separately, that’s what they’re called - owners, not adopters.

I do understand, I think you have enjoyed time with him largely responsibility free whilst kids are off at their Dads and now there is a puppy you’ll have to make plans around it and it will limit you.

Thst said I think he’s had to work around your responsibilities for the past year so it feels unfair if he has to fo all the compromising.

You can break up or see how it goes.

You have had a very hard time on here OP. YADNBU to feel this way.
I was in a similar situation -he bought a dog on impulse (yes had apparently wanted one for years, but his lifestyle was not compatible with owning a dog) and it was a knee jerk to buy a puppy when he saw a cute one.
In my case -we were two years into a relationship in 2023, and he had suggested we get a dog together two years later in 2025. Then he just bought one -with no thought as to the restrictions it would place on both of us.
End of our relationship.
He thought I would come round to the idea as the puppy was so cute, but his total lack of consideration for me was the clincher.
Dump him OP - this is the hugest red flag you could get.

Oh and when I enquired about our puppy initially, he was one of only two available as the other 5 had all gone to previous adopters. 5 repeat ‘customers’ of one litter sounds like a well regarded breeder to me!

So because your breeder has a waiting list and you perceive them as good, you’ve declared all good breeders as needing to have waiting lists?! I’ve been to our breeder’s house twice, met the family, seen where the puppies were kept, met both dog parents and have all the certificates & family tree of our dog! I’ve even spoken to the stud owners and previous adopters who were there with their previous dog - one of whom was a champion at Crufts last year. She’s a fantastic breeder who loves her dogs and what she does. She only has one bitch from whom this is the 2nd and final litter.
Personally, a breeder having a ‘waiting list’ sounds more like a puppy farm/production line than a decent loving breeder who puts care and time into the litters they nurture.

I can well understand this. You’ve got to a stage in life where you have some freedom again-weekends without kids and now you’re seeing that possibly going again. You’ve had puppies/dogs before so aren’t naive to the fact that they take time/commitments and do impact on what you can/can’t do and especially without notice. I’d feel the same.

Ok but your cats will flip. Cats can live with dogs if they get used to them over time. It takes months of daily exposure for them to feel safe with a dog. Ad hoc visits won’t work. Also puppies don’t settle well away from home so you might have some broken nights. I say this as a multiple dog and cat owner.

I think you should talk to him
about your concerns, how getting a puppy helped to lead to divorce in your marriage and that frightens you a bit that it will put space between you. Ask for some reassurance that the changes to your trips and travels is only temporary, the dog will grow up in a year then you have more options for kennels or family members looking after it while you go on holiday.

Typically, if we're in an Airbnb, it is because we've gone somewhere suitable for the dogs and we want to spend time with them, but we have left them (not crated because they are not crate trained) in properties, with the owner's permission for the occasional evening meal. If we were going somewhere, they wouldn't be able to join us for the majority of the time we were there, we'd use a pet-sitter who would stay at our house with them. There's also the option of using a pet-sitter local to the Airbnb or a doggy day care close to the Airbnb. It takes more planning, but having a dog does not mean your social life needs to end or your life needs to revolve around the dog and only the dog.

Obviously, you would use your common sense and walk the dog beforehand, ensure they have their own bed and favourite toys, and that they are not left for too long, but for a well-raised, well-socialised dog, being left alone for short periods shouldn't be an issue.

And socialisation is about a lot more than meeting people and dogs, it is going to new places, experiencing new stimuli and activities, and raising a confident, balanced, and adaptable adult dog, which can include staying in "strange" places and getting accustomed to bike rides and motorbikes.

Do your children come on these wonderful bike rides, hiking and travel adventures too? What happens if you are invited to a child-free wedding as presumably, they are going to this one tht the puppy has ruined?

It’s not the puppy, it’s that he’s gone and made a major change that’ll impact you without even asking.
The thing is, you don’t live together so he might think he didn’t need to ask you? He probably doesn’t think it will affect you that much.

Are you thinking he doesn’t love you/see a future with you? or see the relationship progressing?

I do thinking bursting into tears is a bit OTT, is there anything else going on? I can see you be a bit annoyed, but your reaction is a bit much. Not saying that to be unkind, but because it doesn’t seem entirely justified.

By the way, has he had dogs before? I’m wondering if he has thought it through and is making a mistake.

And that would be entirely his prerogative too, of course.

All of those can be done with a dog... You are being terribly dramatic over a non-issue.

How has your life changed? Do you live together? I personally don't understand your meltdown over a boyfriend of one year not asking your permission to buy himself a dog.

Some great tips!

A bit of an over-reaction considering you said that you thought it would be a good idea.

I don’t think he should have to ask you, but do think he should have told you what he was thinking in advance. I agree with everyone saying you shouldn’t get a dog on a whim, and that responsible breeders need to find out about potential owners over more than a week. Otherwise you can be in for all sorts of complications, behavioural and medical, which in turn can be a huge future expense.

Oh dear. Your lack of knowledge in this area is showing. The fact that you think kennel club registered means much at all now is laughable. And where did I say they visit potential owners homes? Come back to me when you have some real knowledge and experience in this area other than looking someone up on the KC website and getting a puppy from that same person just a few weeks later and declaring they’re a ‘very good’ breeder. 🤦‍♀️

You'd hate me. Both my last dogs I acquired without any preplanning or consulting my husband. Fortunately he loves them. In an ideal world we'd take in more.

Based on your one experience, you don't believe good and responsible breeders have waiting lists?
Maybe you got lucky that the breeder you found had a litter with availability. Or maybe they actually weren't that great a breeder if they didn't check you out. A truly responsible breeder wants to know about the home that every single puppy they breed is going to. That doesn't mean travelling to you, it means asking detailed questions about you, your home, your family, your lifestyle, so they can be confident they are matching the right puppy to the right home.

It’s very worrying you think that being a KC breeder, with years of experience, makes someone a good breeder.

Good breeders do have waiting lists - mine for my latest litter is over two years. I already have people enquiring about my litter after (which won’t be until Novemberish 2027). All prospective owners have to meet me, and my dogs, in person before I even consider putting them on my list. I vet them (video house tour, bank statements etc). I do not know any breeder, who I would confidently recommend, who does not do most of that. I likewise don’t know any good breeder who doesn’t have wait lists. None of them would sell to a random person who popped up on a whim and certainly not without doing some serious checks.

Speaking to a breeder is basically a job interview - and if it’s not, the breeder is one you should swerve. They should want to know everything about you because they should want to know their puppies are going to good homes.

I know a KC breeder. She was ‘assured’ she had bred for 30 years and she had ten breeding bitches at one stage and no dogs over the age is six - why? Because she was a puppy farmer. Being KC and having been a breeder for several years does NOT make someone a good breeder.

It’s genuinely shocking how little effort, time and energy people put into trying to find the healthiest puppy they can.