To feel jealous of a puppy?

Only read the first page but I understand, OP. I'd be a bit baffled/upset. Would think he wasn't serious about me. Would also worry about the impulsiveness - yeah, he's always wanted a dog, but it's very sudden and you'd have thought he'd have invited you along to meet the pups too. Idk.

It seems very odd he's done this after your announcement about your previous dog driving a wedge between you and your ex.

If you're sure he's not taking steps to end the relationship, I can only assume that conversation was the reason he didn't mention anything about the pup, as he knew you'd try and talk him down. If this is the case he either values owning a dog over your relationship or he assumes you'll fall in love with the pup and he gets to keep both of you!

It's fine and normal to say you adopted a dog, but it implies you rescued her, not that you paid £££ to some greedy breeder or puppy farmer for a pup. I adopted one sweet pup from a shelter (from the litter from a poor beautiful dumped pregnant bitch), and bunged a couple of hundred to a farmer for an unwanted (surplus to requirements) sheepdog pup of three months (the goodest girl but she was trying to eat the sheep. Much better as a couch guardian).
And if my husband or boyfriend as he then was had got his knickers in a twist over not being consulted, he'd have been cordially invited to do one.

My experience is that kc reg don’t do wait lists and only start an expression if interest list once they know how many puppies they have. Wait lists tend to be those who breed multiple times a year… so I’m not convinced that’s a sign of a good breeder.

i have one kc reg pup who was planned for months, lots of research etc, and our sprocker was a lovely family who wanted to experience puppies with their much loved family dog. They loved the experience but said never again and were teary when we collected her. She’s the most wonderful puppy ever. Dad was kc reg mum was a sprocker. We met mum and other pups. They had 2 families cancel last minute so we saw her advertised, made contact and visited all within 3 days, bringing her home. Definitely a moment of madness but the best thing we could have done. That said, we already live the dog lifestyle so didn’t have the adjustment.

Have a conversation about what your relationship looks like with a dog. We still go on holiday but have a trusted person who looks after them.

I understand you are shocked that your partner bought a dog without mentioning it to you.

There are places that look after people’s animals whilst they go on holiday, so you can still do the things you wanted to do.

Yep, so very different to the poster I originally quoted who said also only puppy farmers have wait lists…😁

The dog breeder owned all of them except for the Sire who is owned by one of her friend. She is a professional and extremely reputable. We were on a wait list for a year

I didn't mean for it come across as judgemental or that OP has done anything wrong. She has definitely invested more than him but she also has more people to consider given she has children and he doesn't. Once a man spends significant time staying over when the kids are around you kind of have to be very invested, he doesn't have to consider that. He is used to consider himself and what works for him so he hasn't really changed his pattern. OPs crying and getting upset about it is probably going to seem quite OTT to him.

@Bubblesgun And who owned them? Because by the poster I was quoting argument, it was three different owners for three different dogs - which seems a tad unbelievable.

It seems the main issue is the lack of communication so it’s understandable you’d feel blindsided. This wasn’t about the puppy itself, but the fact that it was a done deal without a conversation. Moving forward, just be honest with him and tell him how it made you feel. I don’t think he did it on purpose to upset you, he was only excited and happy as he’d wanted one for a long time. There are still plenty of options to travel with or without the puppy, and the kids might also enjoy having a little furry friend to play with too. Deep breaths OP, you got this!

This is a bit judgmental. The question of how much to invest in the relationship is exactly what is unfolding now—not something op has done wrong. She snd bf were in the process of developing shared lives/practices/dreams and he has, rather surprisingly, changed the oattern.

You say you had a conversation about how much you miss your old dog and then in the same conversation that getting the dog was the end of your marriage? That’s mixed messages.

Hes obviously had to sacrifice things In the relationship due to you having children and responsibilities so why shouldn’t he be able to bring something to the table that also brings sacrifice?

You don’t live together, you don’t share finances and you don’t share children or anything major together. This decision is entirely his. Why should he put his wish of having a pet on hold for someone who he only shares a part of his life with and who could end the relationship tomorrow?

If you lived together or had mixed finances yes you would have the right to be annoyed but he is his own person living in his own home. This is totally up to him.

I have met mother dad and grand mother and uncle when i got my puppy. So yes it does happen

But it is his dog. You don't live together, don't share finances, don't share children. If you split up tomorrow the dog is his and only his. It was solely his decision and didn't need to be discussed. He needs to be allowed to make decisions about his future himself.

I do think you are too invested in this relationship given it's only been a year. You might like each others company now but who knows if there will be other incompatibilities that come up in the next few months and you break up.

But you would t have ‘been happy and said it was a good idea’ would you? Not if you were being honest.
I agree that as you seem to see a future together he should have talked about actually getting a dig, not just about wanting one, but I bet he just got excited as the opportunity just fell in to his lap so to dirán. And unless you had specifically said how much a dog disrupted your life before, he assumed you’d be delighted too.
They are a responsibility and work initially. But not sure why your whole life has to be put on hold. I recommend Trustedhousesitters.com. They are free (with annual fee of around £150) and come live in your house and look after any pets. I’ve used them twice saving me thousands, and a couple friends have used them successfully too.
As for bike rides etc - why not? You have to train a dog to be used to being in its on for certain periods.
So yes, I believe he should have talked it through with you, but be honest and admit you really don’t like the idea. But it seems a done deal and you just have to work around it. If he trains it properly you can still do loads of things together, and loads of things with the dog!

that's what's bothering you - not the puppy literally but the changes in your life together..... perhaps it makes you feel you've invested more in this relationship than him if he is happy to make changes without discussing it with you (perhaps you also like to be in control and like your routine, perhaps you have unprocessed emotions from the ending of your marriage)

You definitely need a conversation. Are you on the same page for a start. Maybe you’re not.

And if you are - why didn’t he consider your future and include you, is he always going to be this sporadic, is life with him going to be full of him making decisions that you have to go along with or will you be a team?

You might be accused of ruining his new dog moment. Maybe give it a week.

My mother loves her dog more than me and her grandchild and prioritises its comfort and wants over that of her daughter and grandchild so I don’t find your response extreme. But I’m projecting!!

Don’t be ashamed of your reaction. To you, as your previous marriage broke down over a dog, this choice warns of the limits to this relationship. Your subconscious makes the link.

@GelatinousDynamo oh I agree. I just find it interesting that this poster got so defensive and started listing all these things that Google AI tells you to look for when you meet a litter of puppies…

Meeting the breeder, owner of the stud, owner of another dog from the litter seems so unlikely - outside of a very rare breed - that I do struggle to believe it happened (particularly in such a short span of time after the poster started looking…)