Dh and I have a two year old together and I have a tween from a previous marriage. Tween spends every other weekend with his dad.
Our toddler is amazing but full on and we have no help whatsoever. My mum lives about 10 minutes away but for reasons that are too complex to go into, she doesn’t help at all. In an emergency situation she might do childcare for a couple of hours but that’s it.
In almost 3 years Dh and I haven’t had a night off together. We are used to it now. What I really struggle with is the relentlessness from day to day with no end in sight. We work and look after the dc and that’s it. Today for example, we haven’t been anywhere but we have had to tag team the toddler while the other gets on with mowing the lawn or cooking the dinner. It’s really tough and honestly sometimes I just wish I could spend the day in bed or have a break.
I know our situation isn’t unusual. I also know people do this with more than two kids and that one of my kids isn’t even here every weekend. So I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m just genuinely wondering at what point you have a break? The only time we get to sit and chill is when the toddler is in bed and by that point we are exhausted. I can’t even summon the energy to pick up a book never mind go for a walk or to the gym.
I don’t know any babysitters and wouldn’t feel happy leaving my dc with a stranger anyway. But good lord I just long for a night off, a lie in and the chance to recharge my batteries. Every single day is routine, work, childcare, chores. How do people cope?! When my eldest was younger we had so much more help and I really took it for granted.