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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour in hospital and his cat

41 replies

LurkerEvany · 27/04/2025 21:31

Would I be unreasonable to tell my neighbour to put his cat in temporary cat lodging/pet sitters.

My neibour is old and in hospital and has been for 2 weeks. No idea when/if he will get out.

It was sudden and so I took some things to him and am looking after the cat by going to his twice a day. The cat was booked for surgery and I agreed to look after and sort the cat (she badly needed it).

She is now off meds and doing great but I'm getting fed up of the running around for him and seeing to the cat. I'm a carer for my wheelchair partner and mum.

Would I be wrong for now telling him it's time to get her in a boarding place as she's stuck indoors and has no one there?

I feel bad as it's not her fault nor his really and he has no living family but I feel this isn't my place.

OP posts:
Hdjdb42 · 27/04/2025 22:11

It's hard for him to sort from hospital. I would continue to do it until they're discharged.

Original poster
LurkerEvany · 27/04/2025 21:53

parietal · 27/04/2025 21:37

does he have any other friends / family who are visiting in hospital? if so, tell them that you can't care for the cat anymore.

it might be pretty hard for him to organize cat care from a hospital bed (depending on how ill he is), but you can certainly say that you won't be able to keep looking after the cat indefinitely.

Unfortunately no. I have been the only one. No family or friends, neighbours all elderly too.

OP posts:
mumda · 27/04/2025 21:51

Cat foster care. The vet might know if someone local. You organise and you probably end up paying.

WonderingWanda · 27/04/2025 21:50

If you have any other neighbours why don't you ask if any of them could help out? I hate the thought that his cat might get taken away and he will come home to an empty house.

Nousernamesleftatall · 27/04/2025 21:49

It’s a few minutes twice a day. I would do it. He won’t be able to organise alternative care from hospital and you would only add to his stress. If you can’t do it anymore please organise someone to take over from you. I know many cat lovers who would have no problem helping out.

TheCurious0range · 27/04/2025 21:47

What are you having to do with the cat? Feed it, clean the litter? Could it stay with you for a bit? The poor man is in hospital I don't think I could get cross about looking after a cat.
It's you really can't contact a local animal charity and see if they have people to foster in these circumstances. He's not going to be able to from hospital at his age and in his current condition

DarkLion · 27/04/2025 21:46

I work with the elderly as I’m a nurse and honestly if there’s any chance you could still do it I would. I know it’s not ideal but I don’t see how he can sort it from hospital and so many elderly get upset thinking of their pets when they’re in hospital, worried about what will happen to them. Obviously if you can’t you can’t but I’m sure it’s reassuring to him and stress off him knowing that he has a neighbour helping out

hatgirl · 27/04/2025 21:45

The Local Authority has a duty to manage pets and property if someone goes into hospital - if you can't do it any more you can call them and they will have the relevant conversations with him.

TomatoSandwiches · 27/04/2025 21:45

YANBU, you've already helped him out a lot, he needs to arrange for someone else to step in now, you're a carer to two people already, that's enough.

BlossomCat · 27/04/2025 21:44

Can you look on your local FB group and see if there are any cat fosterers around? Or contact a local cat care charity and see if they know of any foster care available?

Thelnebriati · 27/04/2025 21:43

The Cinnamon Trust might be able to help, you should be able to contact the hospital social worker and ask them to arrange for them to look after the cat if you can't contact them directly.

StarDolphins · 27/04/2025 21:43

I am unreasonable but I would bend over backwards to help this man and his cat or at least rally some friends/rellies of his to help. It’s stressful enough being in hospital and worrying about a pet & how would he arrange this? I know not everyone thinks like this but o would just do it.

Worm28 · 27/04/2025 21:42

You’re NBU if you don’t want to help anymore but if I was you I would continue to look after the cat because sometimes it’s just a good thing to do to help a fellow human out in a crisis. Now the cat has recovered surely it just needs feeding twice a day at your convenience?

ChargeableHour · 27/04/2025 21:40

You aren’t unreasonable to want to end this task. However, it seems pretty impossible that a man in hospital could arrange it. Could you arrange it and have someone bill him?

stichguru · 27/04/2025 21:39

It 100% wouldn't be unreasonable, but would he manage to do it? Like depending on what is wrong with your neighbour, I'm not sure whether expecting him to find and organise a cat boarding place from his hospital bed is realistic. Also how would he get the cat there? Could you take her somewhere?

parietal · 27/04/2025 21:37

does he have any other friends / family who are visiting in hospital? if so, tell them that you can't care for the cat anymore.

it might be pretty hard for him to organize cat care from a hospital bed (depending on how ill he is), but you can certainly say that you won't be able to keep looking after the cat indefinitely.