Am I a pearl clutcher?

Iv worked in crematoriums (long time ago and in the US). We are also required to perform cremations individually. I remember a heartbreaking case where a mother and baby died at the same time and even though the family wanted them to be cremated together we couldn't do it. We would have been shut down by the state. Also retorts don't realistically fit more than one person. An issue that is arising right now is a lot don't even fit one very overweight person.

I think YANBU really - should be done discreetly rather than performatively.
If Martin had a grave, he'd no doubt be turning in it 👍

All this talk of Martin, I'm picturing Martin from Friday Night Dinner (Paul Ritter).

😂

A goldfish that thought he was a shark, so into the sea his ashes go...🦈🐠🐟🎣🐡🎐🦦

In the UK it is required by law that bodies are cremated individually.

A quarter of a jam jar probably equates to about a foot at the very most. Suspect Martin liked holidaying there. I live on the coast and have seen it a few times. Once with extended family, a microphone and speeches and guitar playing.

In sea water? Disgusting! Fish fuck in the sea.

But would it be ok if there was a dead body there but out of shot? 🤔 this is the question! 🤣

It's not like it's really a person scattered into the sea.Bodies are cremated en masse unfortunately.Something I didn't know until recently.

How very Saltburn.

it's a fairly unusual way to spread ashes, on a leisure boat with people snorkelling. The ceremonial aspect of doing it in public wouldn't bother me, I don't think kids should be protected from things like that, it's part of life. But the thought of swallowing a mouthful of gritty sea water with bits of Martin in.....

I think you should scatter ashes away from other people so they are well dispersed before they reach human life.

The UK is quite relaxed about scattering ashes but most other countries in Europe do not allow it.

The same point that says it's ok to have your wedding photos taken in a churchyard, but if there was a dead body propped up on the lych gate, it'd probably ruin the shot.

I would prefer to do it discretely personally but it wouldn't bother me at all.

I do find the “dilution ratio” a funny one. So it’s not ok to scatter ashes near people swimming, but the water is full of ashes and other undesirable things anyway… so is it ok so long as you can’t see it?

The best example is bodies…. if there was a body floating in a pool then people wouldn’t get in. But people still swim in the sea and the chances are there are some in there!

What point is it ok?

Sounds quite strange but I doubt I’d be flabbergasted or be worried too much about my kids seeing it

One thing I also want people to understand is that you are not required to be embalmed. Some funeral directors like to say that for money making reasons but there is no requirement. Just make sure your views are well known to your family.

Look into aqua-cremation or natural burials. I'm from the States and these are increasingly becoming a more attractive alternative. Aqua-cremation uses a lot less energy and resources, and natural burial is exactly like it sounds, no embalming or preserving (beyond refrigeration) and buries in a unbleached cotton shroud.

It doesn't sound morbid. I binge watched Six Feet Under some years ago and have been convinced that the more we talk about these things the better. We should treat death as a life-stage (albeit the last one) and not as something to fear. For cultural/historical reasons, I'm not sure about cremation, but I really don't like the idea of going into the ground full of formaldehyde - cremation would definitely be a better option.

I think you have a right to be flabbergasted 😂. I'd be thinking eww eww eww! Swimming in bits of Martin 🤭...

I wonder if she's scattering bits of him in various places they were happy together or similar?

My Dad's ashes are in two separate places (although I've just realised I've no idea where one of them is!).

Agree. Horrible expression. And it's always trotted out as if the posters using it think they're being witty and clever.

I absolutely despise the expression “pearl clutcher”….

My judging comment was more for people posting here in general, not specifically towards you. My apologies, I wasn't very clear about that.
I think a lot of people don't quite understand what cremation truly does to the body after death. After cremation you are left with calcium, salts, carbon and bone fragments. The bone fragments are incredibly brittle and aren't really bone anymore. Most countries then pulverize the bones to the ashes before returning them to the family. I know it sounds pretty morbid but it's less invasive than being embalmed.

You are definitely overreacting. It was obviously a special place for them.

YADNBU. I wouldn’t have been ‘completely shocked’ or even remotely so, but you’re absolutely right that this is minging for others in the vicinity, disrespectful (not least to Martin) and in fact objectively, hilarious.
Whoever said ‘white lotus’ was spot on.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you can savour this as a bloody good anecdote several kids hairwashes into the future x

I live by a popular tourist beach, people are always scattering "ashes" and roses in the water. I don't mind too much but if it was me I would do it in the winter not in the summer when the water is full of people. I think "ashes" is a bit of a euphemism though. Let's be honest, it's really ground up skeleton people are throwing in the water.