Guilt trip over an abortion

You chose to have unprotected sex, you caused this as much as he has. So of course you shouldn’t be guilted into abortion, but you brought this on as much as he did so you have to take the fall out. Time to grow up.

That pair of you have acted equally irresponsibly.

Why would you want to tie yourself to this man ?

I don't get thos threads at all!

You were having sex unprotected so you knew you could get pregnant. You seem to know that earlier on that you are absolutely not getting an abortion, so surely, you always wanted to get pregnant?

If didn't want you to be pregnant and he is very clear about that. You told him clearly that you were not on any protection. Yet he was fine having unprotected sex with you?

These stories don't make sense!

Good luck, OP.
This man sounds horrible anyway.
If you want to keep your baby, you should.

Ridiculous. Poor child.

It is madness that he was having sex with you while knowing you weren’t on contraception. What did he think would happen?

There’s nothing you can do to change his mind- get ready for raising this baby on your own and talk to your friends and family for support.

The flip side of raising this child alone and all the difficulties in that is he decides to be involved and you have to co-parent with him and all his family. My friend did this, believed she couldn't get pregnant had a fun relationship with no contraception and then pregnant. They tried to make it work between them, even got married. It was a disaster because she really didn't know this person, they didn't agree on basic fundamentals of how to parent, money, anything. He moved back home with his parents post divorce and they made my friend's life as miserable as possible because they were horrible people and believed she had trapped him because he had a good job and neither of them used contraception.

When your baby is young contact would be small amounts of time but often. Once they are older it can then become 50/50. You need to go into this with your eyes wide open. He could meet someone and introduce that woman to your child immediately. You are tying yourself to a relative stranger for not just the next 18 years but your child's life and their future.

This includes things like school choice too, what if you don't agree?

Parenting is hard, even with two people. You may have family support but will they align with your parenting choices? Plenty of Mums on here complaining about their own Mum's behaviour.

You are only 29 and are doing well at work and have a home. Do you have any idea how much that will change if you bring a child into this as a single parent?

Why no contraception? Why the definite need to keep the child? You scarcely know this man yet are asking him to become a father. OK you both should have taken steps to avoid this but my gut feeling is that you didn’t want to and frankly I don’t blame him for feeling very upset.

Of course it’s your body, your choice but your supportive family will likely not be there every time you get sick, your child gets sick or the boiler breaks exactly when the nursery fees are due. It will all be on you and it won’t be fun.

What went through your head to have unprotected sex with a man you’ve known for 8 weeks?

There’s unavoidably mixed feelings from both parties but I don’t think you should feel any guilt.

It's pretty fucking stupid to not contraception unless you're actively trying for a baby, whatever...
Good luck with whatever path you choose.

"Dear Dave when you leave sperm in vaginas, babies can happen."

And then never message him again. Just get all the details you can and write them down in case your DC asks later for info. You don't want to forget. Also print any texts emails for future reference when he says you stopped him from seeing the baby, and you can point out he tried to get you to abort

It's up to you what you do, and it's his loss if he doesn't want to get involved with his child, but honest to god, you are both absolute fucking idiots.

A poor kid who never asked to be born, potentially not knowing where he comes from and missing out on that stability.

I know accidents happen, but this wasn't an accident. It was a choice, made by two stupid people.

You will now have to deal with the consequence of knowing you are probably going to bring a child into the world, who won't know it's dad, and all the implications and trauma that brings with it.

Consider that you'll be doing it completely alone, without family. Illness, death, or more often saying they will be there but barely. it pales in comparison to having a supportive partner

Is there a reason you didn’t use contraception?

If you had sex with someone, and you weren’t using any contraception, you must have know there was a chance you would get pregnant. Why would you take the risk ?

That goes to both of you.

It’s your choice entirely if you decide to keep the baby.

What about diseases as well ?

So he knew you weren't on contraception....did he use condoms?

He chose to put his penis inside you. He needs to be a grown up and deal with the consequences.

Don't feel guilty. Your body your choice.