Finding it hard not to resent friend on benefits

What exactly is she doing wrong?

She is raising 4 kids on her own it would impossible for her to manage full time work. She doesn’t spend money on herself or have a car (which is tough with kids) and she kits the kids out on Vinted so she can afford a holiday and she is spending money so she can feed them healthy home cooked meals and is making sure they do extracurriculars. She has a degree so she’ll eventually be giving back after she has done, what sounds like a good job of raising her family.

This is literally what benefits are for - to keep you from hitting the bottom when your life goes off plan. She sounds like she manages her money very well. She sounds fantastic.

She is a leech. Time the rules were changed.

I pray life never takes me to a place where I begrudge a single parent of 4 and 4 small kids of any good thing they can afford to experience ☹️.

FFS Another benefit basher thread
1.Comparison is the thief of joy
2.Concentrate on your own life
3.You’re no friend

Not even child benefit? Why?

This thread is horrible. You say you love your friend dearly, yet seem quite happy to offer her up on here to be benefit bashed. No real friend would do that.

I understand completely when the working tax credits first arrived I was very resentful that I was working 12 hour shifts with a young family but knew of other women working just 16 hours a week and getting more than me. To this day many years later I regret not playing the system and spending more time with my children. Before anyone roasts me I have never claimed a benefit in my life

The feckless father should be making sure those children don’t go into poverty rather than the taxpayer. Four kids on benefits and able to afford holidays abroad? No mate. That’s not a safety net, that’s taking the piss out of anyone trying to eek a living on minimum wage.

You can’t report someone for receiving the benefits that the DWP have determined that they’re entitled to. You also cannot report someone for spending their benefit money in a way that you don’t agree with.

No idea to whom, that it's why I was asking.
I do believe there should be some channel for reporting this kind of abuse from the benefits system.
NHS is fucked. Our education system stinks. Our public transport is the laughing stock in Europe.
And yet we have to lap up opulent getaways to Greece to some leeches and their offspring.
Enough is enough.

Can you imagine if they had a hotline for reporting benefits being spent on things people don't agree with?

"My neighbour is a single mum.and she bought a paddling pool with BRITISH TAXPAYERS MONEY".... it would be endless.

She’s getting the same benefits that anyone else in her position would be entitled to. Who do you think she should be reported to, and for what?

But the person the OP is speaking about is working?

Taxpayer money should not fund people trips to exotic destinations while so many British children are malnourished.

A single, educated, working mother of 4, very young, children sounds like a parasite who needs reporting because she manages a holiday every year?

At what point should she be reported? Buying a chocolate bar she doesn't need? Maybe a new top for herself? What about a bike for one of the kids?

Report her for what?

A parasite? She works 15 hours a week while single handedly raising 4 kids under 7, because their dad has fucked off and doesn’t support them. How is she a parasite?

Scottish child payment is £25 per week per child I think? So she’s getting an additional £400 roughly per month on top of what UC and other benefits that she’s entitled to. That would cover a gousto box and tennis lessons.

The Scottish government is trying to prioritise child poverty. This mother seems to be spending the additional money on improving her children’s quality of life.

But this woman does work. 15 hours a week, while also single handedly bringing up 4 kids under 7, whose father fucked off and doesn’t have anything to do with them. I’m sure when the children are older she can increase her hours.

Also to add, it sounds like your friend has a good career job which she will be able to up her hours and get back into as the kids get older. You don't make it sound like she's going to kick back and stay on benefits forever. I imagine her career job and a helpful employer are the key to all of this.

Get a grip! You never know what is around the corner for anyone. Including yourself. Focus on your own life sbd honestly, end this ‘friendship’ because it’s eating you up here and you’re not her friend. Would you be happy to see her suffer? Maybe get sick? Struggle more? What would make you happy OP? To see her hurt? Get out of her life because you clearly despise her.

I get it, it's really hard when you're working, juggling kids and you're also a single mum. Especially when it looks like your friend is able to do so much more than you while she's on benefits. However, you never know the full story of anyone's life. You might think you do, but you don't.

Honestly, I'd chat to your friend and see if she can help ensure you're claiming all you're entitled to. She clearly knows her stuff and there are plenty of legitimate ways to maximise your claim without fiddling the system, just knowing how it fits together.

Agree with everything @Hollyaddysays. All of a sudden the life stages change very quickly-before she knows it she'll be desperately trying to live on her state pension and you'll be living comfortably.