Finding it hard not to resent friend on benefits

A - do you know her? No one gets married to "predictable assholes". Are you married? Your DH could leave you one day. Or die. Your fault for not choosing better.
B - she has a degree and is working in a field related to it. She can do more hours when all her kids are at school, and OP said that is her plan. Perfectly reasonable.
C - she was married when they (not she... she didn't do it on her own) had the kids. Also, no one chooses to have twins.
D - how do you know this?
E - she WORKS so she is using her own money to go on holidays. Other people not being able to afford stuff is nothing to do with her
D? (you must be high as it is F next) - she is in a field related to her degree. The chances of her knowing a another single mum who can do opposite shifts to her in the same job are slim to none.

Your wasting your time. That poster clearly doesn't read or need actual information before jumping to an opinion.

Much like most of the benefits bashers you see on here, unable to receive and retain knowledge.🙄

He had a well paid job and they had savings - we have no idea the circumstances/what he was like. Not everyone has family local to help out not entirely sure how she could be expected to change that? Sounds like the friend has a plan to return to full time work when her kids are school age and has an education and career to return to

A) she picked a predictable arsehole to mate with
B) she didn’t maintain her career or earning power
C) she had way more kids than a solo person can afford
D) she smugly assumed divorce would never happen to her, and had no backup plan
E) she is using taxpayer monies to take holidays that many actual workers can’t afford, instead of saving the funds for the inevitable next crisis
D) she is not being creative, resourceful or diligent, such as teaming with another single mum and working opposite shifts to split childcare, because it’s easier to go on the dole

There was a plan B. She has a degree and who says she didn’t have any savings? She works part time and will presumably ho on to work full time when her kids are older.

I am Mrs Taxpayer this is exactly what I pay taxes for. So children don’t live in complete poverty when circumstances are difficult for them,

As for this Mum making the ‘conscious choice’ to have children with a husband that one day might leave her. Isn’t that a choice that every woman who has children makes? Any man might one day leave or perhaps die.

Exactly. Well said.

How is she feckless? Her ex left her and wont pay CM. She also WORKS.

They were happily married.
I was with my ex for 8 years. He left me and I ended up claiming benefits. When we got together, I had no idea how things would pan out nearly a decade later.

It seems the only thing she did wrong here is not have a fully functioning crystal ball.

What, like the op's own children who have to go without these luxuries and without seeing their mum much, because she is working her butt off to support luxury holidays for the brood of this feckless woman and her ilk?

She chose him.

Better than giving it all to migrants.
Plus some holidays are cheaper abroad hope she has a great time.

Why is this all this lady's fault? Why are you not angry at her ex for leaving her with no choice but to claim benefits?

Exactly.

Benefits should be parceled out as food, clothing, soap and toothbrush , etc., not spendable cash. Provide for the kids’ needs, not the parent’s wants.

She wasn’t “dealt” the hand, she made conscious choices every step of the way. Every step.

We all know the bio-daddy wasn’t a prince among men until after all four kids were born. Come on. And no one should be having umpteen kids with only taxpayer dole as Plan B. No savings, no family, no well-paying career, nada?? Just Mr and Mrs Taxpayer to pick up the slack.

It’s tiresome.

It's a while a go but I can remember my TA come back into class obviously upset because a parent at the gates had told her about their 2 week holiday to Disney world florida, first week in term time, 2nd week was the beginning of the 6weeks. She had never worked had 5 kids .

TA worked bloody hard full time and she basically said the same, she couldn't afford to take her kids on holiday and said 'who's the bloody idiot? Coming to work every day while she's swanning off to america'.

When someone is working full time you should never be worse off than people on benefits.

So am I really makes you feel like your in the Twilight zone and everyone but us has read the alternate version of this post because that’s the only way I can explain some of these off the cuff comments. I mean they seem to want to burn her at stake for being on benefits and working and here’s us being crazy and thinking that’s a good thing clearly we are in the wrong here

She's spending her benefit money on her kids clubs and feeding them. There's plenty that don't but make sure they get their hair and nails done, nights out etc. You've said she's not playing the system, she works I say well done to her for doing her best for her kids!

I am wondering if some people are reading the same stuff we are.
It is not hard to see the whole 2 other posts from OP where she goes into more detail about her friend.
But yeah, her friend is a "leech" for having kids when happily married.

It’s an additional payment by the Scottish government for parents on universal credit - paid at £25 per week for each child.

@TheHerboriste what have you been smoking tonight she ended up a single mum of 4 kids when her DH upped and left her and fled back to his home country she’s working 15 hours a week and taking care of her children what would you like her to do with them. Please do us all a favour and sit down shut up and learn how to stay in your lane. Your making up stories to fit whatever made up narrative that you have created for some bizarre reason go make up fairy stories somewhere else.

She pumped out four kids she can’t afford to rear without vast taxpayer support! Apparently choosing shitty unreliable baby daddies. That’s antisocial and reprehensible.

One shitty baby daddy to four kids. People’s circumstances change, even with the best of planning and there’s a social safety net.

Many of the working people complaining they can’t afford x, y and z are spending their money on other things - paying a mortgage, saving to a pension, running a car. Things that are costly and will benefit them in the longer term. I really can’t grudge a mum of 4 small kids an income nor can I grudge her using that money to give her kids a good start in life.

Shes buying decent food, healthy activities and one weeks holiday a year - not daily McDonalds and an iPad.

Sounds like a mum who is making the best of the hand she's been dealt presumably she didnt plan to end up a single mum with no maintenance. She lives within her means (using vinted, no debts etc) amd her life will have its own challenges if she has no car or family support. If she has 4 young kids UC probably only covers 2 of them and she will have work commitments to satisfy UC she is entitled to support.
If you think it's easy on benefits go part time and put in a claim yourself instead of being jealous of your friend

She is a 28 graduate who works part time ans she has probably completed her family. She will most likely have a decent enough private pension by the time she retires.

OP's friend was happily married. He earned a good wage and they were saving up to buy a property. He left her, left the country, and is paying nothing towards his own kids.
OP's friend is also educated, in a job related to her field and will increase her hours when her youngest is at school. In the meantime, she is single handily bringing up 4 kids on her own, 2 of which are twins.

The benefit system is for people like her.
What exactly do you think she should be doing differently?

What’s a Scottish child payment?