Finding it hard not to resent friend on benefits

do you pay additional rate tax? If you don’t, then you are not paying anywhere near enough tax to fund the largesse in Scotland.

Ive been a higher rate tax payer for over 20 years so while I’m not funding it single handed, I’m certainly paying my share. Which I absolutely don’t mind if it means children have the opportunity for a decent start in life. The media have done an excellent job of having folk at each others throats if anyone is perceived to have the slightest help or support - I don’t mind paying a bit more for a more equal life for kids.

Only thing I am cynical about this is that is she really a single mum?

You sound like a mean “friend “

do you pay additional rate tax? If you don’t, then you are not paying anywhere near enough tax to fund the largesse in Scotland.

Perhaps those who are so very in favour of funding other people’s life choices could make extra contribution to mount their money where their mouths are.
Yeah, thought not.

Im in Scotland, paying significantly more tax than the rest of the UK, which then funds things like the SCP. Absolutely my money is where my mouth is.

Single parent of 4 young kids, working, buying clothes second hand on Vinted, going on holiday once a year and being able to afford Christmas presents...it's hardly living the good life is it? And I can't imagine how it would constitute an 'easy' life, regardless of how she comes across to you.

Also, is this the bar we're setting? People on benefits deserve to live, not just exist. I've never understood this notion that society's most underprivileged shouldn't have access to even the most basic 'luxuries' like a week away or some nice clothes.

Any resentment from working people would be better aimed at those responsible for the fact that you can work all day and still be on the breadline.

Punch up, not down.

Oh well with any luck she'll get hit by a lorry or something and break her legs, then miss out on any pension because she can't work. Then you can breathe a sigh of relief that her life will be shitter than yours at last.

The difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is coveting what someone else has while jealousy is fear of losing what you have. It's natural to feel both on occasion but begrudging someone a decent existence in difficult circumstances is gross either way. You are not her friend.

I am a woman.

She is negatively impacted by HER foolish choice to have four children with a deadbeat, not by society/the patriarchy/misogyny. It seems to me that good old society is doing pretty well by her if she is raking in enough to work a measly two days a week AND afford overseas holidays.

Great role model for those kids.

Comments like this are interesting to me because as a lone parent to one child I can only imagine how expensive childcare or wrap around child care for 4 children must be. Where i live in the UK it would definitely cost more than my full time wage. Did it not register that it actually may not pay her to work full time by the time she pays for childcare? Never mind that most women are still off on maternity leave at 10 months and she's back to work.

Genuinely curious as to whether @1SillySossij and @theherboriste are men or just doing the good work of upholding the patriarchy by blaming a woman for being negatively impacted by all the cards a patriarchal society has already stacked against them. As a tax payer I personally am happy to contribute to a woman in ops friends position as its exactly what it was created for in the first place. Hope you both never fall off those high horses.

"People need to be held accountable for their shitty life choices"

Correct men should be held more accountable for shitty behaviour that leaves a woman holding 4 babies on her own.

In a single parent and my ex was a hard working, charismatic, pillar of the community. We'd been together years before having a child because i wanted to be sure he was one of the good ones. His affair was not a shitty life choice on my part and being able to claim uc is exactly what keeps me in work because childcare bills would put me out of it otherwise. Do better.

I understand your frustration but I think you have to draw a line as to how much you know and how much you can let go over your head...

(unfortunately) we cannot live others lives for them, and yes the system appears to fail those who need it most, while others seem to float on by and do well.

Is there any chance she has an Only Fans account and earning extra that way?

But the mum in this case has been left! Not her choice to be a single mum to 4 kids.

No one thinks it'll happen to them.

It did to me, i work but also claim UC, and thank God I can because I'd be utterly fucked without it.

So sick of benefit bashers like you OP! Do you want kids of single mums to go without to make you feel better?

Pumping out four kids she can’t support with a faithless loser is far worse than a “poor financial decision.”

People need to be held accountable for their shitty life choices, not rewarded with overseas holidays on the dole. If she has spare cash (our cash!) she should save it for the next fiasco, not blow it on a jolly.

Op is this woman from the same country as her ex?

No everyone else should be punished by paying for her mistakes

I think you mean she BARELY works! 15 hours, 2 days a week. She expects tax payers like the op to work fulltime to have time away from their own babies to support her. Nobody forced her to have 4 kids with this loser. She picked him and procreate again and again and again.

Well said.

Oh please ! 🙄 everyone needs a holiday , specially a working single mum to 4 ! Just because people don’t make good financial decisions doesn’t mean those who do should be punished .

Some of the comments on here scream jealousy.

You are right.
Not going to engage with them anymore. Clearly on the wind up.

Why are people bothering to respond to theherboriste?

The poster just wants to put the cat among the pigeons

Im also debt free i owe nothing to no one all my bills are up to date.
I love to travel and i do it.
I earn less than most but i make the most of it i live cheap.
I also live in HA with very cheap rent.
Also get pip i dont tell anyone about it.

Yep, it is a wise plan she has. I bet she will feel a bit more relaxed and able to have time to herself, and properly throw herself into her career once they are all at school. 4 small kids on your own... no thanks!