To stop my son visiting his gfs parents property - serious concerns!

This is quite possible. Happening a lot.

The woman or her daughter may well be implicated in supply and that’s why she was trying to steer him away from medical examination. In any case, whatever her motivations, she’s impersonated you. She’s made malicious accusations. This is no doubt unlawful behaviour.

Your son’s behaviour sounds worrying, if you’ve never been abusive to him. Many teens are headstrong, hang out with people who may lead them astray or do daft things. But most teens would be appalled if a gf’s mother maliciously reported their family for abusing of them, putting jobs and the care of younger siblings at risk. I’d continue to take a calm approach with your DS while making sure he’s fully aware how her accusations put the entire family at risk.

In the meantime, discretely consult a solicitor who specialises in grooming of young people and harassment. Do some online research as to the best place to try. Probably a solicitor in a city. It may be best to protect your self via civil law, rather than leaving to the police to pursue any criminal offence. Though continue to report and cooperate with the police also.

The difficulty will be when your son turns 18, which is why it’s best not to alienate him. It may also be useful to get orders in place now, while he’s a minor. But a solicitor should be able to advise. It’s possible they wouldn’t apply once he turns 18. But it’s possible it’d be useful evidence later.

Ask your son if he’s aware of the risks of spice and how it can be sold as weed. Tread carefully. Speak to him as an adult. Keep it light. Don’t patronise or lecture him. Don’t tell him not to smoke weed. Just ask if he’s aware of the risks.

(It's seizure, not fit, btw)

Really? Nows really not the time for this. Like seriously get off your woke horse and manage the issue at hand. Obviously he needs to finish with the gf.

This was exactly my first thought too.

Is the GF’s family English, OP?

Sorry - haven't read through the thread but cutting back to the seizure - Op's son needs to see a neurologist and get tests done.
My first thought is drugs could be involved. But it could be all kinds of things. And if there's a danger of it happening again, your son needs medication. Seizures are serious and dangerous things. Does he drive? If so, he oughtn't until he knows more and gets a medical OK to do so.

I speak from experience - my own son had his first (and so far only) seizure at a similar age. Investigations showed previous scarring in his brain which probably led to it, and he started meds which he takes to this day. A decade on all is well.

@Lifeof6 do you think your ds fitted with stress or do you think there is some sort of drug taking in the house ?
This women was scared of soenthing . At the hospital she wasn’t concerned for him she was concerned for herself . Why is the question ?
Id contact a solicitor . I’d also actulay be very firm with my son tbh . I’d ask him what’s actulay going on and that of course he can tell you anything . make sure he knows you can get through it together as a family. The form part would be making sure he knows these peopel are no good and they are going to hurt him and his own family .

If the OP tried "knocking on the door" to have a conversation, this woman would have likely gone to police and blown the whole thing out of proportion.

Ask the police for a Sarah's Law disclosure (CSODS) on the girl's parents, if you haven't done so already.

This...isn't comparable?
The mother has been stalking and impersonating and lying.
The boy was ill in hospital and they tried to bully him out.
It's the police and something like the Suzy Lamplugh trust that's needed.

Drugs

first thought to my mind

their relationship needs to end asap

If there are any phones or tech items in with the stuff that is dropped, hand them into the police. I'd be very concerned about tracking and dodgy communications.

to plant something amongst it - perhaps to track him

I wouldn't have thought of this but if they did drop everything off I hope OP and her ds have gone through carefully to check for this.

I'd bet my last dollar, the weed was spice.

"The gf just text him though to say the parents are dropping the things by our door and leaving....we will see how this pans out. He said he isn't going out to them."

I wonder whether the reason they were so determined to get to your DS's belongings from his friend's before anyone else was:

• to go through it & intercept anything amongst it that might incriminate him &/or them, be-it clues to where he's been/drugs/money/secondary devices with texts/pics that might otherwise shed light on things if you had got them first?

• conversely, to plant something amongst it - perhaps to track him, coerse, or secretly provide him with something like a note or direct means of communication/burner phone?

Either/Both could be possible.

Hope things become clearer, and that he gets out of their spell/grip 🙏
Wishing him (and you as a family) well with his heath checks today and going forward,

I don’t recommend reading about the Aussie woman with DS & toxic GF situation. She was not proactive from the outset and last time I checked it wasn’t going well.

I know two different families this has happened with. In one case it was actually old family friends who were the ones "stealing" another family's daughter. In the other, connected with mental health work because the mother who had lost her son was literally being driven crazy by the situation.
No drugs, no sexual exploitation, no cults. Just very self-righteous people with a strong saviour complex. Teenagers with normal levels of conflict in their relationship with their parents, but the sympathtic ear of the saviour family is attractive. And things spiral until the saviour family has convinced themselves and the lost teen that they have been abused in their family of origin and the best place for them now is with their new family.
I remember the oldest daughter of the old friends of my parents, giving an example of the abuse their "adopted" girl had suffered: she had never been bought a new, branded t-shirt in her life. It's ridiculous and so obvious now that this wealthy family who could buy her brand label clothing was attractive to her /not/ because of a life of abuse.

Anyway, the important thing is that in both cases the teenager ended up reconciled with their families.

Are you logged out of all devices that your son might have access to?

I’m glad he’s physically safe with you. I think holding off on giving him the phone or any access to computers is good for now. My guess is that she is contacting him on his laptop if he’s getting quiet. I would also show him the Freedom Program and help him sit through that online.

The woman is telling people that police are removing OPs son into her care. Assuming OP is telling the truth, this person is a fantasist or a liar and well beyond talking to. It'll either end up escalating or the woman will end up lying about what was said.

I agree that the most logical explanation is usually the most likely, however nothing the OP has said (again, assuming she's telling the truth) screams that this person is a concerned parent trying to look after OP's son.

The GF at that age and as a student would not be able to claim universal credit or claim her own money I think. Students can't usually. She would be on her mother's claim as a dependant child instead. If your child really doesn't want a relationship, he has to tell her so and be firm. If they don't listen, and they put lots of pressure and they don't leave him alone, then he will have to make sure they don't want him. I'm sure the girlfriend would not want him if he goes out with friends or his brother nightclubbing or partying etc without her, or meeting other girls, or texting other girls and stuff like that. Maybe a lads weekend holiday or something too. She will hate him soon enough to not want to keep pressuring him anymore if he wants too. It isn't that difficult to use common friends social media etc to get the info to her. If they don't listen to I don't want a relationship anymore even when saying it so firmly , he needs to take himself out of the pedestal that they have put him by behaving appalling in their eyes.

The most logical explanation is the most likely. No harm can be done by asking her why she’s behaving the way she is. Like others, I think the most likely explanation is the son has created a bit of a tale and it’s got out of control for him.

It sounds absolutely nothing like county lines.

90 days-ish, reliably. Assuming he has average length hair.

My nephew had a fit aged 18 and it was the start of a life long serious condition, Epilepsy. He needed so much hospitalisation at the beginning to determine the correct drugs, whether brain surgery would assist etc. He could not get a driver's licence until all drugs were stable etc.
So take the fit seriously.
It could also be a reaction to drugs. Some families are advised never to touch Marijuana due to mental illness risk etc.
If he were my son I would be asking my husband to stay with him 23/7 to attend all doctor's visits, accompany him to and fro school and taking him on father-son camping or fishing relaxation weekends. Stick with him until his health and well being are known and he is making good decisions.
You and your husband could take holidays, time off without pay etc. It is so important to sever the contact with creepy mother.
Take out an intervention order on the girlfriend's mother (you have evidence of co-ersive control at hospital, identity fraud with phone calls to school and over bearing/oversharing details and inappropriate communication with your relatives and friends. She is loopy and no way would I allow any further interaction with her. Flag her home to Police about drugs too. It should be searched.

Write an explanitary note to your friends and family about the intervention order so that they understand why it is neccessary for them to not entertain any communication with the girlfriend's family.
This will be embarrassing for your son and he will feel torn about his feelings for his girlfriend..so facilitating him talking to close family and friends and professionals is important.

Is there any way you could take him away for a while ? Personally I would want him as far away from those people as possible ..
Isbthe mum interested in him ? Do they have any weird stuff going on together ? It’s does all sound very weird