Did I ruin family day out

I agree 100%.
OP has nothing to apologise for. And, atvthis point in the development of thecrelationship, needs to refuse to accept blame for this man's inabilitynto vontrol him temper ( or even recognise that he needs to).

We were on great terms

That's an odd thing to write. Are you not normally?

Presumably you have known this man for a long time-long enough to marry, have a baby who has grown up and can talk. Has he done things like this before? How well do you get on normally? Is he unhappy/stressed?

I don't think she's making a drama about it.

Having snapped at her
He threw them at her and it hit her in the eye.
Even her DS said he should apologise
Then he later accused her of ruining the day out.
He is the one that ruined the day out.

He was aggressive

I regularly do stupid stuff and my DH has never lost his temper and blown up at me, not ever. If I did something like this he would probably say something like “D’oh, what did you do that for?” And I would say “Oops, sorry, here you are.” End of story.

Ive never read anything so fucking ridiculous.

You missed "bystanders and their pets" off the list.

He picked up the tissues with no difficulty. He could have then just stuffed them in a cup holder or door pocket, out of the way. Instead he screwed them up & lobbed them at his wife. He chose to do that.

From OPs updates his anger is an issue, and she's worried about the potential for a next time, when he's holding something harder or sharper.

I don't blame her. My ex went from shouting loudly, to throwing things around, to physical violence. It can start with something seemingly trivial and escalate. If he didn't mean to hurt her, why hasn't he said sorry?

The point has been made several times, but here it is again for those at the back and the hard of understanding.

DH has anger control issues. OP describes him as on a short fuse. She also updates that she’s worried because the incident came from a place of anger and considers it an escalation of previously concerning behaviour.

This was a minor incident and an accident. His response was to physically abuse OP in front of their children, and to continue to blame her long after they got home. He expects her to apologise to him, despite his abusive behaviour. That suggests a narcissist.

For those of us familiar with how DV starts this is escalation and a red flag. Similar to OP’s case, it starts with ‘l’d never hit you’. The next step is a slap he deems as ‘deserved’. Then a punch. And systematically you get to the stage where each beating is accompanied with an assurance that it will never happen again.

The sarky snark is all about the lack of understanding that these situations escalate slowly, and the failure to appreciate that it doesn’t matter whether it’s a brick or a tissue. The important point is that it’s a escalation.

Thanks for this riveting information, Mr Isaac Newton.

Just because your tissue didn’t go anywhere near your intended target - doesn’t mean the OP didn’t experience unpleasant and abusive behaviour from her husband.

Again, the bar is so so low. This thread is nuts.

And the obvious thing to do is to grovel about in the footwell to pick whatever it is up so you can throw it forcefully at the person who provided them in the wrong way? It's not what I would do while I was driving.

Like fuck was he concerned about the tissues falling in the footwell. If he was, he would have pulled over and picked them up. He wouldn't have bent down while driving, picked them up, screwed them up and chucked them in the OPs face, all of which is far more distracting and dangerous. It's absolutely nothing to do with him "panicking" or being terrified of crashing. If he was genuinely that panic stricken and furious over a tissue, I'd suggest he rethink driving because fuck knows how he would react when a real issue occurs.
MN never fails to shock me. The shite women put up with because they think they have to or it's normal is unreal. The fact that people think it's actually OK and justifiable to have anything chucked in your face out of anger or frustration is bonkers. It doesn't matter if it hurt or not. Then at home he's not only refusing to engage with his own children, but sulking and stropping about like a massive toddler. There's low standards and then there's LOW standards.

This. He sounds like a bully.

It matters because I’ve just tried to replicate throwing a clump of tissues at dh (purely for research purposes) and they didn’t even travel 6 inches.
No dh’s were hurt in this experiment. It’s impossible.
And op claims that not only did they hit her full in the face but that they really hurt.
Just strains credulity.

No chicken, I’m not stupid. I’m not pretending either.

If a tissue, or anything that ACCIDENTALLY ended up in my footwell- I would keep calm and pull over at the nearest opportunity to remove it.

I’ve experienced a full water bottle go into my footwell whilst I was driving? That could have easily rolled behind my break and got lodged. Preventing me from breaking.

Do you want to know what I did? I certainly did not throw something in the face of my passenger. I didn’t shout. I didn’t abuse my spouse. I didn’t scare my children. I didn’t “ruin” anything.

You’re minimising and excusing this man’s appalling and abusive behaviour to his wife because you think a potential hypothetical car crash is more serious than how this man has treated the OP infront of their child.

Seriously, get real.

And I’ve lost 5 family members in a car accident when their car set on fire in a collision.

Your stupid tissue theory isn’t shocking to me at all.

Try again.

Absolutely, I struggle to believe anybody could disagree with this.

It may have been a tissue (this time) but it’s clear that when angered he can’t regulate or control himself. Even worse than that is that when he’s behaved inappropriately he isn’t able to take responsibility. Personally I’d be worried about all of the above in terms of the chances of him changing, the potential for escalation in how he responds when angered, and what your child is learning from his father about how to respond to anger.

So you placed tissues on his knee, when it would have been safer to hand him them, I'm not surprised he got annoyed if they fell. If my husband had done this while I was driving I would have done the same.

Are you really this stupid, or just pretending?

Tissues wrapped round a pedal could have prevented the driver being able to brake when needed, your foot can EASILY slip off when something is in the way of the pedal, that’s exactly why it is imperative to have NOTHING in the footwell to create such an obstruction. A tissue is exactly the right material to lay on a pedal and mean when you need to break your foot slips. That can easily then cause a multi car crash, injuring or killing not only everyone in the car but also those in the surrounding cars. That is fucking horrific, that should give you fucking goosebumps.

My point is that throwing a crumpled up tissue in your wife’s face out of anger infront of your children is fucking ridiculous behaviour and abusive.

Are you seriously not getting that?

The point is it doesn’t matter if it’s “just” a tissue or something larger or heavier. There’s no excuse to be angry and throw something at your spouse.

Jesus Christ the bar is low. So fucking low on here.

Has it come up in conversation before that he would never hit you? Surely thats an unsaid given in a relationship?

How did he pick them up off the floor while driving?

I mean that tissue could have laid on the pedal, prevented him being able to brake when needed and been the cause of a multiple car crash, injuring or even killing every single person in that car plus other cars around them.

But yes, throwing a tissue put them all in far more danger than that???

Get real please

Ahh. That’s that then. That makes his behaviour acceptable. He could have caved her skull in with a brick - but it’s okay everyone!!!! It was just a tissue.
I don’t know what the sarky snark is all about. It literally was just a tissue (which somehow managed to nearly take op’s eye out. As if…)
What’s your point?

OP placed tissues on his knee. They fell accidentally. His response was to get angry, scrunch them up and throw them in her face. In front of their children. If you think that’s insignificant to the point of being a laughing matter and something to mock, maybe you should set your pathetically low bar a bit higher when it comes to the way men see fit to treat women.

His angry reaction is putting his whole family in danger, and worse than what O P did. It's abusive

“He didn’t throw a brick”

Ahh. That’s that then. That makes his behaviour acceptable. He could have caved her skull in with a brick - but it’s okay everyone!!!! It was just a tissue.

Poor bloke. How horrific that a couple of tissues could have wrapped around the car pedals. Doesn’t bear thinking about, does it? I’ve got goosebumps just thinking of the tragedy this poor man could have experienced by these tissues in his footwell.

Of course his wife who has been treated appallingly by him should apologise. What a stupid woman for even thinking of placing a tissue on his knee.

🙄🙄🙄