Did I ruin family day out

Throw the whole trash husband away.

Both points are spot on!

FFS, it wasn't a mug of hot coffee or a can of beans that could roll under the bloody pedals.

All he had to do was leave the tissues where they fell, ask for another one, and retain his calm driving demeanour. But instead of that, he chose to retreive the tissues, ball them up, shout at his passenger, and throw them at her, presumably all while driving with one hand on the wheel, no hand available for the gearshift, and only half an eye on the traffic.

And there are people here, presumably women, bleating about the poor man..

Would any of you, in all honesty, ever behave like this man did behind the wheel??
Think about it.

I think you know exactly what I meant. Your reaction to a poster telling you that their point of view is as a result of their own lived experience of domestic violence makes me ashamed to be female.

I’m assuming - hoping actually - that ‘I would never hit you’ was in response to something OP said to him. If not, I would find it very concerning that he would even think to say this unprompted. Why say it if it’s never crossed your mind ?

👏👏👏. At last. Some common sense.

@Prinajdjd

What was the context of his assurance that he would never hit you?

How scared were you, and what was his behaviour like that time?

What you did was really dangerous, if he had crashed you could have had much bigger issues in your life.

You have then massively overreacted to him being rightly irritated that you did something stupid and dangerous. He has to concentration on the road so he threw the risk out of the way which is the correct thing to do. I don't believe for one second he personally 'aimed' it at you while driving in the scenario you've described because I have been in a similar scenario (no passenger the item fell) and you just have to move it as fast as possible theres no logic to where it lands as thats not the main risk.

What on earth would possess you to balance something on the knee of a driver though?

Jesus wept, this just gets worse. Explain to me how a few tissues would stop him depressing the brake pedal ? There’s an issue here. Posters are minimising the effect of the tissues when rolled up in a solid ball and thrown, yet maximising the effects of them in their original state as putting the occupants of the car in dire danger if they land under the brake pedal. It’s BATSHIT.

@Prinajdjd

A short fuse, eh?

And he works nights, presumably sleeps days, and you seem to not spend time together as a family much, if at all.

I think he's lost whatever connection he ever had with you and the children.

The response you got to a very simple problem with the tissues was designed to intimidate you, and you were completely justified in feeling as you do. I would continue to demand an apology, if only to see what he will do next in his attempt to further intimidate you and gaslight/ blame.

Can you describe his 'short fuse'?
What has this looked like previously?

PS - Ignore people making inflammatory comments and minimizing this.

Do balled up tissues float when chucked about 12 inches away with force?

(No. They don't float. Something about aerodynamics or whatever, like I say, prob Y5 stuff, and that was a while ago for me!)

I don’t know, I think I would’ve been really stressed about the tissue box balancing on my knee if I was driving. This is only because I’ve been in the situation where something got stuck under the pedal and it was extremely dangerous because it meant I couldn’t brake! It was an apple and fitted exactly under the pedal. But his reaction is completely unacceptable still.

OP didn’t say it was a floating tissue did she ? She said he rolled them all up in a ball and threw them at her. Different altogether. As has been said, the tissue is not the issue (how poetic). The balling it up and throwing it in anger however, is.

Maybe they got wet, wet tissues sometimes dry hard, so maybe the air con would then dry the tissue very quickly turning them into sheets of steel effectively, thus jamming the brakes.

Or slicing the DH's braking foot off.

Please can you go into detail re: how a couple of 2 ply tissues would stop a brake pedal being pushed.

The more wild the theory the better!!

Or is your post a pisstake? I can't tell tbh but the certainty of it now makes me think you're having a laugh

What the hell kind of tissues do you buy that hurt when thrown? So melodramatic!

A sliver of cardboard could conceivably touch your eyeball if launched at you with force.
A floating tissue? No.

I really don't think a few tissues will affect the brakes. 🙄

He shouldn't have behaved like that but it was extremely dangerous for you to put a pile of tissues on his knee when he was driving and for them to fall on the floor. If they had gone under the brake pedal he would have been totally unable to stop the car and there would have been a terrible accident.

If you don't understand that then that is a serious problem and in your husband's shoes I would be reconsidering the relationship tbh.

I can't believe people don't understand how tissue/paper/any other supposedly light material can hurt someones eye.

Like, I don't even know if it can be explained it it's so basic 🤣

I found this though that might help

• "The blink reflex: The blink reflex is exactly what it sounds like — an automatic response that makes you blink when something touches your cornea."

Just a simple Google search.

I was thinking this

The OP said:

He suddenly got angry saying “why would I do that?

He then picked them up, crumbled them together and when I looked in his direction threw them in my face

Sudden anger, and bending down to retrieve something whilst driving, then throwing something, whilst driving - can definitely contribute to driving erratically. His full attention was clearly not on the road.

He obviously wasn’t calm, was he?

I’m genuinely curious why you would think that’s a “hell of a stretch”?

OP, his anger is toxic, not at all normal.
His actions in anger hurt you.
Thats all you need to know.
His behaviour was aggressive and scared your child.
This is abusive.
His anger and actions are abusive.
Please ring Women's aid for a chat.

This sort of behaviour destroys the childhoods of children.

Angry men are the worst.
I would be afraid of what he is capable of.

You genuinely can't imagine, or maybe I mean understand, how a balled up tissue could hurt someone's eye if chucked at a fairly close distance?

It won't hurt every time. You know, cos force, positioning, right down to how its crumpled up, all being different every time.

I think they cover stuff like that in Y5 maybe?

Aww bless, you’re obviously a bit dim aren’t you? I’ll explain it to you again. Not sure why you’re unable to read and understand my previous posts though?

The OP: places a couple (or few?) tissues on her man child’s husbands lap/knee whilst he was driving.

God knows why this man wanted a tissue for his hands mid-drive in the first place. Any normal person would wash/wipe their hands before driving surely? Anyway, I digress….

The husband: notices that the tissues have fallen off his knee into the footwell. Again, instead of any normal and rational adult who would think “No biggie, I’ll pull over in a sec to get them, hunny could you pass me another tissue please?” He proceeds to bend down, grab the tissues, screw them up and chucks them into the OPs face. He becomes angry and aggressive.

I mean, at this point, if you STILL believe that the OP is in the wrong here and we are “minimising” her, then well ….. there’s no hope for you.