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Original poster

Did I ruin family day out

282 replies

Prinajdjd · 27/04/2025 15:45

DH, dc and I had just enjoyed a lovely meal and talking about future plans. We were on great terms and had a wonderful day. When we was driving home, we decided we didn’t want the day to end and would find something else to do. As we were driving DH asked for a tissue for his hands. I was distracted talking to dd and placed a handful of them gently on his knee. They fell down by his foot. He suddenly got angry saying “why would I do that? I should’ve placed them in his hand.” I apologised and said it wasn’t a big deal. He then picked them up, crumbled them together and when I looked in his direction threw them in my face hitting my eye. Even if it was meant playful (which it wasn’t due to the sheer amount of force and his tone prior to this), it really hurt my eye and I was upset about it. Dd even saw and demanded for daddy to apologise to mommy. I said instead I wanted to go home and he blamed me for ruining the day over something minor. It rubbed me wrong as he shouldn’t have thrown it at me at all, definitely not in front of kids and he shouldn’t have done it so hard. He keeps coming in the room and asking is this how I’m going to act- I say no I am no longer upset about this and if he apologises we can continue the day. He has stormed out now and refuses to help with dc. So confused and don’t see how this is my fault.

OP posts:
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 28/04/2025 22:05

A note: common assault and actual bodily harm are not the same offence in law, but both are offences.

Putting someone in fear, as by shouting at them or throwing things, is assault. (Spitting at/on them would be an example too.) The attacker doesn't have to cause physical hurt or injury to the victim for common assault to have been committed.

Iceboy80 · 28/04/2025 21:55

Houseplantsaresoothing · 27/04/2025 15:55

He shouldn't have thrown them at you OP.
He shouldn't be throwing anything at you.
That is really aggressive behaviour and a big over reaction, even if he was driving .

How is your eye now OP?

Pmsl it was tissues, not a brick, yes he did over react but there are 2 sides, move on and get over this and you said he has never been violent but I'm sorry throwing tissues isn't violent it was just made worse by the fact it hit you in the eye.

Sadworld23 · 28/04/2025 21:12

ruethewhirl · 27/04/2025 16:17

He ruined it and I’m concerned that you even need to ask the question. He behaved like an utter dick.

This. And beware its a slippery slope.
I understand that feeling if wtf happened, we were having a lovely day and then....

It will.likrly happen again sadly.

littlemisspigg · 28/04/2025 20:14

Prinajdjd · 27/04/2025 15:45

DH, dc and I had just enjoyed a lovely meal and talking about future plans. We were on great terms and had a wonderful day. When we was driving home, we decided we didn’t want the day to end and would find something else to do. As we were driving DH asked for a tissue for his hands. I was distracted talking to dd and placed a handful of them gently on his knee. They fell down by his foot. He suddenly got angry saying “why would I do that? I should’ve placed them in his hand.” I apologised and said it wasn’t a big deal. He then picked them up, crumbled them together and when I looked in his direction threw them in my face hitting my eye. Even if it was meant playful (which it wasn’t due to the sheer amount of force and his tone prior to this), it really hurt my eye and I was upset about it. Dd even saw and demanded for daddy to apologise to mommy. I said instead I wanted to go home and he blamed me for ruining the day over something minor. It rubbed me wrong as he shouldn’t have thrown it at me at all, definitely not in front of kids and he shouldn’t have done it so hard. He keeps coming in the room and asking is this how I’m going to act- I say no I am no longer upset about this and if he apologises we can continue the day. He has stormed out now and refuses to help with dc. So confused and don’t see how this is my fault.

Narcissistic and bully.
You had a good day and he simply needed to spoil it for you, bring you down a peg or two
Maybe if you dig deeper in the past, there are other instances of similar (non) arguments that were somehow twisted to make it your fault?
Look after your eye OP.
Hugs ❤️

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 21:29

@KilkennyCats This is a public forum and my opinion is as valid as anyone elses. You’ve indulged yourself more than most in mocking and minimising OP’s posts and those of anyone else who doesn’t agree with your standpoint. If you don’t understand that the tissues are not the issue, but the escalation that the throwing demonstrated then I can’t help you. You don’t seem to have much understanding of how DV starts, or much respect for the viewpoint of those who have experienced it, or who recognise and warn against the early red flags. That’s not my problem, it’s yours.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 21:21

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 27/04/2025 18:08

This is just ridiculous. I expect you think the anti-tourist protesters going round with water pistols are violent terrorists who are a whisker away from bombing cafes. 😆

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Nope. Just a survivor of DV which started in a very similar way to OP. A quick tempered man who systematically escalated his lack of anger management by losing it and throwing things. Then blaming me for arguments he had started. That resulted in the things he was throwing being aimed at me. Which quickly escalated into a slap if he thought it was ‘justified’. Ended up with me being regularly beaten and him dissolving in tears every single time, as though he was the victim and swearing he’d never hit me again. Until a beating ended up with me being hospitalised and him being arrested. Still think it warrants a laughing emoji ? This is one of the most disgusting threads I’ve ever had the misfortune to participate in and I’m genuinely gobsmacked at the number of mocking posts MN moderators have allowed to stand.

KilkennyCats · 27/04/2025 21:17

Stand down, @Lovelysausagedogscrumpy
You’re completely over invested in this.

To the point of thanking posters for their support, which is quite odd.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 21:15

iamjustwinginglife · 27/04/2025 19:23

His loss of temper isn’t about a tissue, there’s something else…is he stressed about another part of his life?

Do you think throwing things at OP is acceptable whatever he is ‘stressed’ about ?

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 21:02

KilkennyCats · 27/04/2025 19:58

Rolled them all up in a ball…
How many tissues are we feasibly talking about here?
How many would you hand over if someone asked you for a tissue?

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It’s not about the fucking tissue. FFS. It’s about the act of throwing it in anger at the OP. Is your bar so low that you can’t see this ?

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 27/04/2025 20:55

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 19:52

Ah, so it wasn’t enough to put a laughing emoji response on my post which is invisible to other posters, you just had to respond for all to see. Pathetic.

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Infantile, innit.

AD1509 · 27/04/2025 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Arancia · 27/04/2025 20:28

If my husband did that to me I'd be telling him that it's the first and last time he will get away with throwing anything in my face. I hate men like this so much.

Okrr · 27/04/2025 20:26

It wasn’t about the tissue. He was either tired and fed up that day or something during the day pissed him off. He should have apologised once he calmed down. He ought to do so before you go to bed.

Hopefully this does not become a pattern, it often does.

He hasn’t taken any new medication has he? Or be on edge about something?

A ball of tissues could stop you braking a bit, you might have a moment of panic reaching down, I would, but it’s the part after the incident about not making up that he is in the wrong about.

SmoothRoads · 27/04/2025 20:16

You're in an abusive relationship. This may have been the first act of violence, but it won't be the last. Get out as soon as possible with your daughter. It's traumatic to witness your father treating your mother is way.

Megifer · 27/04/2025 20:03

Catrionablocke · 27/04/2025 19:54

What do you mean by the last sentence?

I don't need to Google, I know I'm right.

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Well you did day "usually" tbf which I didn't notice til now, which means you agreed with the info I posted. You could have just done a blue thumb react tbh.

The "like" thing......i'm rather enjoying your confusion/naivety about it. Sorry 🤣

KilkennyCats · 27/04/2025 19:58

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 18:45

OP didn’t say it was a floating tissue did she ? She said he rolled them all up in a ball and threw them at her. Different altogether. As has been said, the tissue is not the issue (how poetic). The balling it up and throwing it in anger however, is.

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Rolled them all up in a ball…
How many tissues are we feasibly talking about here?
How many would you hand over if someone asked you for a tissue?

usererror57 · 27/04/2025 19:57

Really doubt a balled up tissue was thrown “violently” and caused you injury whilst he was also driving so presumably he didn’t one handed 🙄

Catrionablocke · 27/04/2025 19:54

Megifer · 27/04/2025 19:52

I usually research before stating things as fact unless I'm 100% sure. Give it a try. Google. Few words. 10 seconds.

Cute you didn't get the "like" at all ☺️

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What do you mean by the last sentence?

I don't need to Google, I know I'm right.

Catrionablocke · 27/04/2025 19:53

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 19:52

Ah, so it wasn’t enough to put a laughing emoji response on my post which is invisible to other posters, you just had to respond for all to see. Pathetic.

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Lol 😂😂😂😂

Megifer · 27/04/2025 19:52

Catrionablocke · 27/04/2025 19:19

Usually, you blink before something touches your cornea, as the purpose of the blink reflex is to protect the cornea, not to wait till it's touched.
(I can't believe people who put "like" at the beginning of a sentence, but we'll let it go this time, as you're overexcited).

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I usually research before stating things as fact unless I'm 100% sure. Give it a try. Google. Few words. 10 seconds.

Cute you didn't get the "like" at all ☺️

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 19:52

Catrionablocke · 27/04/2025 19:51

Lol 😂😂

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Ah, so it wasn’t enough to put a laughing emoji response on my post which is invisible to other posters, you just had to respond for all to see. Pathetic.

Catrionablocke · 27/04/2025 19:51

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 19:49

I think you’re a bloke. Or someone’s teenage son out for a laugh. No woman I know would respond like this so something so serious and which affects so many women. If you are actually female, then your bar for male behaviour towards you is set so low as to be non existent.

Edited
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Lol 😂😂

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 19:49

Catrionablocke · 27/04/2025 19:33

As they say, ROFL 🤣 😂

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I think you’re a bloke. Or someone’s teenage son out for a laugh. No woman I know would respond like this so something so serious and which affects so many women. If you are actually female, then your bar for male behaviour towards you is set so low as to be non existent.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 19:46

mathanxiety · 27/04/2025 18:55

FFS, it wasn't a mug of hot coffee or a can of beans that could roll under the bloody pedals.

All he had to do was leave the tissues where they fell, ask for another one, and retain his calm driving demeanour. But instead of that, he chose to retreive the tissues, ball them up, shout at his passenger, and throw them at her, presumably all while driving with one hand on the wheel, no hand available for the gearshift, and only half an eye on the traffic.

And there are people here, presumably women, bleating about the poor man..

Would any of you, in all honesty, ever behave like this man did behind the wheel??
Think about it.

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Would any of you, in all honesty, ever behave like this man did behind the wheel?? Think about it.

Don’t stress it. The posters responding in favour of OP’s DH are clearly not capable of critical thinking.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 27/04/2025 19:42

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 27/04/2025 19:30

A husband has behaved unreasonably and in a way which put his wife and child at risk of injury. She is afraid of him and he has an unpredictable temper.

Ho ho ho, what a hilarious joke! Let's ignore the danger and the anger, and argue about whether being hit in the eye hurts!

Stun a stoat sideways, some people on here astound me.

Gobsmacking isn’t it ? It’s beyond me why anyone posts for advice on MN any more. In most threads one poster will focus on a minor detail, others will follow and a derail ensues which chases most OP’s off their own thread. They then get criticised for not coming back. And what this thread shows beyond a shadow of a doubt is that there are some women who are prepared - no, happy - to accept the shittiest, lowest bar when it comes to mens’ behaviour towards women. They know who they are. You can only pity them.