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Did I ruin family day out

282 replies

Prinajdjd · 27/04/2025 15:45

DH, dc and I had just enjoyed a lovely meal and talking about future plans. We were on great terms and had a wonderful day. When we was driving home, we decided we didn’t want the day to end and would find something else to do. As we were driving DH asked for a tissue for his hands. I was distracted talking to dd and placed a handful of them gently on his knee. They fell down by his foot. He suddenly got angry saying “why would I do that? I should’ve placed them in his hand.” I apologised and said it wasn’t a big deal. He then picked them up, crumbled them together and when I looked in his direction threw them in my face hitting my eye. Even if it was meant playful (which it wasn’t due to the sheer amount of force and his tone prior to this), it really hurt my eye and I was upset about it. Dd even saw and demanded for daddy to apologise to mommy. I said instead I wanted to go home and he blamed me for ruining the day over something minor. It rubbed me wrong as he shouldn’t have thrown it at me at all, definitely not in front of kids and he shouldn’t have done it so hard. He keeps coming in the room and asking is this how I’m going to act- I say no I am no longer upset about this and if he apologises we can continue the day. He has stormed out now and refuses to help with dc. So confused and don’t see how this is my fault.

OP posts:
Echobelly · 27/04/2025 16:16

Gosh, that behaviour is like a 6 year old who's had a lovely day out and then throws a fit and says their day was rubbish because a parent stopped for 2 minutes to get a coffee or something on the way home.

mathanxiety · 27/04/2025 16:14

His reaction was completely unacceptable.

Sometimes a response like that - seeing malice where absolutely no malice was intended, followed by rage - is a sign of narcissism.

His gaslighting, refusal to accept his reaction was disproportionate and completely unacceptable, and continued bad behaviour (raging in front of the children/ harassing you about the incident) point in the direction of narcissism too.

RedHelenB · 27/04/2025 16:14

TheHappyBug · 27/04/2025 16:02

I think you are both being absolutely ridiculous.

A tissue hurt your eye? He got angry that you didn’t put it in his hand?

This.

Coconutter24 · 27/04/2025 16:13

Notsosure1 · 27/04/2025 16:01

This is what I was thinking? Were they menthol?

Even a feather (lighter than a tissue) can hurt if it pokes your eye, I don’t get how people can’t understand something hitting your eyeball will hurt 🤷‍♀️

Lifestooshort71 · 27/04/2025 16:13

To me, this is not a LTB moment but a 'Fhs, now I've got to grovel down on the floor while I'm meant to be concentrating' moment. Yes, he overreacted (did he think you'd chucked them at him instead of putting them lovingly on his leg?) but it does sound as though you overreacted a bit as well. It is normal for ones eyes to blink if something appears suddenly so maybe the tissues didn't actually touch your eyeball? Anyway, sounds a song and dance to me but who am I to know?

Houseplantsaresoothing · 27/04/2025 16:12

I can't believe the number of pp who are actually making excuses for and minimising his violent reaction.
And also the fact he hasn't apologised and is blaming OP.
Generally speaking an act of physical aggression like this is seen as the first step along the road of DV.!

Notimeforaname · 27/04/2025 16:11

If it was just a stressed, instant reaction as he was driving, it can be forgiven but what he's doing now is ridiculous. He needs to apologise.

Notknots · 27/04/2025 16:11

Houseplantsaresoothing · 27/04/2025 16:07

I don't know why everyone is doubting that the tissues hurt OP's eye.
Even an eyelash or a small piece of grit can be painful in the eye.
So a ball of scrunched up tissues thrown with force into an open eye at close range could very well be painful.

But the main issue is that OP's H thought it was acceptable to throw something into his wife's face at all!

This. And then has continued blaming op and is acting rude and aggressive since then.

So many red flags.

Even if he was initially annoyed and worried about the tissues near the pedals, he's had plenty of time to calm down, take responsibility for overreacting in the moment, and apologise.

DoYouReally · 27/04/2025 16:11

I still can't get it.
He asked got a tissue.
You left them on his knee.
Not very practical when driving (do you drive?)
They fell.
He asked "why would you do that?' (Fairly reasonable question)
He somehow managed to pick them up and make them into a forceful weapon (while driving safe given the weight of the tiisue this is some achievement)
You both made it into a indecent which was unpleasant for your child.
You need decide you wanted to go home (over an issue with a tissue)

It all seems rather dramatic and could have been sorted in 30 seconds.

Prinajdjd · 27/04/2025 16:10

DDivaStar · 27/04/2025 16:07

We on its own it all seems a bit of an.over reaction.

Very odd and potentially dangerous to balance tissues on his knee when driving.

Aggressive throwing tissues at you in response. But they were tissues so hardly likely to cause injury.

Do you.often have these little spats over very little.

I don’t understand how to two compare though. On the one hand, I placed tissues on his knee which accidentally fell. He purposefully scrunched them up and chucked then in my face after having a go at me in front of the kids. Would this classify as little in your marriage?

OP posts:
DDivaStar · 27/04/2025 16:07

We on its own it all seems a bit of an.over reaction.

Very odd and potentially dangerous to balance tissues on his knee when driving.

Aggressive throwing tissues at you in response. But they were tissues so hardly likely to cause injury.

Do you.often have these little spats over very little.

Prinajdjd · 27/04/2025 16:07

DoYouReally · 27/04/2025 16:01

I'm struggling to understand the level of sheer force and damage that can be done by tissues?

Considered many possibilities but nothing that could tally with your post.

Id suggest a more practical approach. Ball up some tissue and chuck it in your eye.

OP posts:
Houseplantsaresoothing · 27/04/2025 16:07

I don't know why everyone is doubting that the tissues hurt OP's eye.
Even an eyelash or a small piece of grit can be painful in the eye.
So a ball of scrunched up tissues thrown with force into an open eye at close range could very well be painful.

But the main issue is that OP's H thought it was acceptable to throw something into his wife's face at all!

katkintreats · 27/04/2025 16:05

If this is all out of character, why can’t you just sit down together and explain how you’re feeling. Doubling down and expecting apologies won’t help.

Does he know your eye was hurt? Might you have mis-read the aggression? You need to explain to each other calmly why you are upset, and listen to what the other has to say.

ItGhoul · 27/04/2025 16:05

Jabberwok · 27/04/2025 15:50

Who was driving, was he? It can be annoying and worrying if something falls down by the pedals when you are driving, especially at speed

Not annoying enough to warrant angrily throwing the item in your wife’s face. In front of your kids.

MagicStarMama · 27/04/2025 16:04

Alarm bells ring when men blow up over minor things.

TheHappyBug · 27/04/2025 16:02

I think you are both being absolutely ridiculous.

A tissue hurt your eye? He got angry that you didn’t put it in his hand?

DoYouReally · 27/04/2025 16:01

I'm struggling to understand the level of sheer force and damage that can be done by tissues?

Considered many possibilities but nothing that could tally with your post.

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 27/04/2025 16:01

This is abuse and gas lighting

Notsosure1 · 27/04/2025 16:01

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 27/04/2025 15:58

How can balled up tissue even hurt?

This is what I was thinking? Were they menthol?

Prinajdjd · 27/04/2025 16:01

whowhatwerewhy · 27/04/2025 16:00

A tissue hurt your eye 🤣

Im thinking that myself lol. But it did. My eye was open you get it?

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 27/04/2025 16:01

Woahhhhh that’s an overreaction on his behalf.

And abusive as a response too.

Is this totally out of character or just the first time you’ve been hurt?

BobbyBiscuits · 27/04/2025 16:00

He sounds weirdly aggressive and rude. Why does he talk to you and act this way? It's not acceptable. He needs to apologise and never do anything similar again.

whowhatwerewhy · 27/04/2025 16:00

A tissue hurt your eye 🤣

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 27/04/2025 15:58

How can balled up tissue even hurt?