To think primary transition days aren’t much help if you work?

I can't believe how many think YABU

I think YANBU. What's the point in getting a child used to half days at school and then all of a sudden they have to go full time?

Luckily the school DD is going to have done away with staggered starts, they all start full time in September, with a few opportunities over the summer to meet the teacher and the classroom etc

Who looks after your child on these days? Could they not take to transition days instead? I often take minded children if it's on their days with me, you certainly wont be the only parent who isn't able to go. Most nurseries will also do this, they're likely to have more than 1 child to take.

Op, have you asked the school for flexibility? Are there dates that you or your partner are available that you could do instead? Dc school claimed that they had this flexibility. They didn't want all children in at once, so they asked for parents who had other commitments to let them know before hand so they could, adjust the schedule and be inclusive.

They legally don’t have a choice. We sent DT’s full time from day one regardless of the staggered start schedule.

The sad thing about this thread is the contempt of "JUST do x, y z" as though the system makes perfect sense and questioning it makes you a bad parent. There is no inherent reason school, childcare and work are structured in the way they are. It's late capitalism extracting as much value out of us as it can, at the expense of our health and our families.

It is completely reasonable, in fact the most sane response, to point out how stressful and harmful it is to parents that society expects them literally to be in two places at once, or somehow miraculously have the resources and money to cover both work and child responsibilities.

It's not good for us. It's not right. Resist!!

Perfectly standard. I started teaching in 1988. We did it then. My children did visit days in July and then 2 weeks in September of either half days in the morning or half days every afternoon in the mid 90s. Parents complained then. School is all about the children. You are about to enter a world where they are front and centre. Brace yourself it can get very frustrating.

Do you have any friends who you do a swap with? You have their kids one day and they have yours the day you can't do? I helped a teacher friend out last year because being a teacher is a right pain in these situations.

Sorry @Parker231 i meant to say staggered start not transition days. I’ve corrected it now.

We had to wait as they wouldn’t budge and take them earlier.

Ironically, I think most of the people saying just to use AL would complain about their child having a cover teacher so their regular teacher could have a day off...

This is so naive. Not all jobs are the same. The OP has said she's a teacher so v difficult usually to get time off for this sort of thing. I wasn't at either of my kids' first days of school because I had to be at my own. Her husband has an overseas trip booked in. Not everyone has 4 grandparents locally, as another pp suggested. The OP may not have a community of mum friends with kids going to the same school. I get that all these are possible options for some but it's not a "surely you can..." situation.
Illness is a bit different, as unless you are v unlucky and there's something longer term, the odd couple of days here and there has to be tolerated by even the most inflexible boss, including a Head.

OP going forward I'd talk to colleagues and management about options for the next few years. I was lucky to work in a schools that allowed unofficial covers between willing volunteers for things like nativity plays, see the classroom mornings etc.

Have you asked if you can swap which day of the week it is? They may be running the settling sessions on a few days and be able to swap you, especially as you are a teacher with DBS so could stay if numbers were an issue, I guess there could be some 3 year olds and I can't remember if the ratio changes when they turn 4

We had this and a group of parents lightly objected to it a few years ago (in the weird covid times) and the school happily changed the policy - they agreed it's just what they had always done but actually wasn't all that necessary given most of the children had been with them since they were 3 for pre school and were already familiar with the school day and routines.

It's a small rural school though so nearly all the kids in the village go to pre-school from 3 and the pre-school class is joined up with reception in the same room and the same teacher.

In our case it would have meant coming at dinnertime to pick up a reception child who had been doing full days in pre-school for nearly 2 years and coming back to pick up their younger sibling in pre-school in the same class at the end of the school day. School acknowledged it did seem a bit silly and made the half days for 2 weeks in reception completely optional.

It shit but it's called AL, or see if your will work place will give parental leave - not likely to get paid for this.
Have you spoken to work? My employer was accommodating for this as they understood it was out of my control.

Why did you do it then when it wasn’t beneficial and not compulsory?

I wouldn't bother with the one that's going to be difficult. Just send your regrets. A boy turned up two weeks into my DC's first term, missed all the intro stuff, and he was absolutely fine, running around and being a right pain like the others and you'd think he'd been there from the start.

Just take some leave, it's s not that difficult. Transition days are very useful to most kids That's why schools do them.

One of mine was last in a FIVE WEEK staggered start and it was a joke as the early entry kids were far ahead in confidence and settling while the late entry ones were completely ignored in the midst of a term already in full swing.
As working parents it was terrible.

Transition days as well as staggered starts? YANBU. Yes, it’s utterly pointless.

Most of the children will have attended pre-school or nursery so don’t need lots of shorter days to adjust to a new timetable. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The main reason we moved abroad when DC turned 5 was because I don’t rate the English school system at all and I wanted them to have a better experience. Yes, it’s worked out well during the Primary years.

It's rather a big assumption that all children have four grandparents alive, living nearby, able-bodied, free during the daytime and willing to assist!

Yes the OP hadn't stated that in the original post, that's tricky! But do people working in schools not get ANY planned leave in term time? Asking that question honestly as I don't work in a school.

I'm a single mum and a teacher, si understand the struggle as i can't take holiday like others I know, and I don't work from home which gives some flexibility. However enough notice is given where I just have to work out a plan. Eg childminder for after school means they might be able to support. My son's school transition time lasts 2 weeks!

Hi OP sorry you are getting such a hard time on here. When I read your original post my first thought was what we did which was a mix of annual leave/split time with DH/sending to usual childcare after but reading through your posts you have clearly thought of options and aren’t able to use annual leave.

I would say send to all the days you can, I wouldn’t worry too much if one or two aren’t possible, some families are going to be on holidays/other commitments at that time, it’s likely that there isn’t going to be a full class at all transition days. Yes these days are good for them, but I don’t think missing some for valid reason is going to be too detrimental. My DD is in reception now and she didn’t really form any bonds from the transition days, it was good to get her used to the setting but I don’t think it would have caused any harm if she had missed some of them.