To think primary transition days aren’t much help if you work?

You’re getting a tough time here for absolutely no reason. They are absolute bullshit and cause more chaos for working parents than they help the kids. If a kid has working parents, they will be used to going away. If they don’t then they probably would be going with friends as there will be mum groups so it also wouldn’t be an issue. You just take the afternoon off if you’re not a teacher but as a teacher the school should understand and have a workaround.

Your OP wasn't clear. Most people will assume you meant September and you've only just now said it's July. So don't get annoyed at posters

Or using afterschool childcare clubs like a huge number of working parents.

It's meant to help them get settled in without it being too overwhelming at first. Is there anyone else who can help with pickups? Perhaps another mum and they can do a playdate after, if necessary?

We are abroad. DC2 is about to start nursery. She's got a month of 9.30am to 12.30, then we'll slowly increase to incorporate lunch and increasingly longer times. She's got a full-time spot - 7.30 am to 5pm, although I'll most likely get her at 2pm most days. It's normal here, and I've been told to expect settling in to the last 6 to 8 weeks.

I think a lot of people assumed you were talking about the first few days of term in September when staggered starts are quite usual. I’d have thought doing actual days in the school in the summer before they actually join was quite unusual. Personally, I wouldn’t worry too much about making them all. I’m sure some kids will have forgotten everything before Sept plus there are going to be people who miss them because they’ve already booked holiday or whatever.

Hey. Teacher and SLT here. You're entitled to parental leave as much as any other job. We give people afternoons/mornings off for this sort of thing all the time. I absolutely remember the feeling when my son started (2 weeks transition) and had to call in all sorts of childcare/pick up favours. I would ask your line managers if you can have the time off/maybe swap favours/cover with another teacher. I would also actively build your network of other parents to support pick ups and playdates. They will love you in the school holidays if you have their children for one day, and repayment in a few pick ups works. Teaching isn't the most childcare friendly job but it is workable.

I’m pretty sure you can insist on full days from the start.

I wouldn’t panic about it, OP. Quite a few of DD1’s pals missed some of the transition activities because they were on holiday (making the most of last year before being stuck with school holiday dates!), and afaik it hasn’t caused any massive issues.

The big gap of summer means that I don’t think they’re massively impactful anyway, DD1 felt a bit annoyed that they did all this stuff and then it was about 8 weeks in the end till she actually started, which is a long time when you’re 4 or 5! The stuff they did in nursery I think was more beneficial, teaching them about playtime, how to get their lunch, etc. as that carried on all summer.

Be thankful, one school near us, it's almost 4 weeks before the youngest are in full time!
My daughters school, all children dud half days (morning or afternoon) for first week. Then younger half (any child born March onwards) did another week of half days, oldest half were full time.
I can see the point of the first week - gave them in in 2 halves to get to know them as a smaller group, show then the routines etc. But the 2nd week was disruptive for my May born DD. She was used to attending the attached pre school Monday to Friday 9-3, so to go back to half days was a backwards step for her. She had lots of friends already and most of them hapenned to be older in the year, so they all stayed whilst she left.
Luckily the attached pre school agreed it wasn't helpful, and took DD for the afternoons for those 2 weeks for a nominal fee of a pound an hour, but bringing her home at lunchtime for 2 weeks would have been the opposite of helpful, it would have given her idea thst school finishes at lunchtime, which isn't the reality.

So for those saying 'it's for the children' - thats not always true.

Legally, the school cannot force the part days, your child is entitled to full time education from the first day of school. But I didn't want to annoy the school by being pushy so we let it go. I do think it should be optional though, parents know their children best.

It's a big assumption that there are still 4 grandparents and that they all live within a commutable distance from school. My dad is dead so my daughter has already lost 1 grandparent and my husband's parents live in a different city. So that would leave me with 1 grandparent (thankfully retired so can and does help where she can!)

I agree...although something is fine, it shouldn't be to the extent that it is.

It's not so much the pre- starting ones for me, but the staggered ones when they actually start for good. Thankfully my school's was over a short period. I think it's outrageous that some schools do it over 2 weeks...if that was necessary then all schools would do it.

I am happy to take views from those who genuinely know there's a benefit for children, however I just think it's a historical thing from when children didn't do so much nursery and things just haven't moved with the times. I don't know any child who didn't do at least 9-12 every day in nursery pre-school already and most children I know do a lot more than that.

I think what is ridiculous is that, by taking time off to facilitate this it means that DH and I have less A/L to use in school holidays. This means more holiday club for DS. He would much rather have done a full day when starting school and less holiday club.

I say his as someone who has made sacrifices in my job in order to benefit DS to do all school pickups and it feels like this still wasn't good enough!

One thing I do remember is that the teacher did home visits during this time though, which I guess needed to be navigated somehow.

I used to be a childminder. I quite often just had children for their Primary School transition days. I'd take them and collect them and they'd be at my house until their parents/grandparents etc could collect.

You need to start planning now OP. This is different from nursery now. You're going to have transition days, inset days, school holidays, child off sick days to make arrangements for.

You need a plan such as a friend who can share covering these with you, paid childcare, annual leave, more flexible working, other family helping (the father, grandparents?).

What you don't do is just not take your child to school when it doesn't suit you. That approach really isn't going to work.

That sounds better.

But yes - still difficult to manage.

TBH childcare in general is just massively more complicated once they’re at school (sorry).

Chilcare is based around the assumption of a complete school day. You can't leave a 4 year old hanging around for a few hours until the after school club provision starts at 3pm which would be a likely arrangement when the child has started at the school.

Presumably OP already has childcare such as nursery, but that doesn't transfer to covering the gap of picking a child up from a different venue halfway through the day.

Does the school drag out "phased entry" in September too? That's disruptive to children and parents. Fortunately I wasn't working when school brought that in, and DS2 was more than ready for whole school days and the upheaval of different finishing times had no benefits to anyone. (They should be optional for children who do need more time to adjust, not compulsory)

That’s a good idea about asking other parents if you’re friendly. I’d happily have taken another kid along with DD1 if parents were struggling.

It's the different environment with all new adults that can be overwhelming, not the length of the day per se.

You can actually ask for unpaid parental leave precisely for situations like this.
https://www.gov.uk/parental-leave

We moved areas just before DDs started reception so they didn't do transition days and it didn't adversely affect them really. (Dd1 actually missed the while if September). They are a nice to have, not an essential. DD2 actually did them for the wrong school as she was in the preschool class and she was the only one leaving.

So don't overly worry if you can't manage them.

It’s your child starting school some kids are ok some find it difficult you and your family the dad or grand parents find a way to MAKE IT WORK. It’s for your child.
use AL arrange to WFH. Even half days back at nursery.
children get v tired starting school as well so be warned. Also how are you going to manage school finish at 3.20 and school holidays - I think you need to start thinking about that now especially if you find these things tricky with work.

It is difficult. My DH and I are both teachers so very difficult to manage one-off days that don't fit in with your normal routine (things like after-school club aren't available for transition days). Can you try to arrange a bit of flexibility with your employer for your child to attend at least one?