To discuss the societal impacts of older parents?

I agree, I think it had the potential to be an interesting discussion, I didn’t get the impression that it was trying to bash older mothers at all, but some people have clearly read that into what was written and have spent their time defending that choice and attacking the OP rather than actually trying to discuss the possible effects. OTOH some people have made interesting and well considered points of potential effects and I still think that the shift towards smaller families and older first time parenthood will have a number of repercussions.

The reasons behind it are also interesting to me, from housing crisis to women’s emancipation, and I also think more attention should be paid to the role of men in the birthrate- as we well know, women don’t have all the control over fertility, far from it.

Well I have yo examples on the befits of society , children to to older parents have better choice , better education , better outcome in jobs , they pay more to the state , more money for schools , health and welfare , their parent will befit too if caring for them is what you are questioning .

My dad had his mum and dad till he was 63. My granny was an older mother was well into her 90's when she died. I hope I hsve my dad till I'm 63. But my dad will be 94 with dementia so I don't too think he will.

Why?

Maybe because you came into it this with a biased view ? Yes parents are having children late but you choose to see only the negative . Children from older parent do better education wise they have better jobs so they will be in position to help more as example and they will pay more into the welfare state too . They are less likely to go without things so things like their health will be better so less use of nhs .
Im saying this as a mum who because. Mum at 19 , 34 and 39 . Yes physically you are more apt to have children young but being a mum at 19 was hard , I had to stop uni to work , I had no time or money for relationships . With my second I was much more stable so no money worries no having to rush back to work , my 3 rd came at a time when I as actually the most settled too and making decisions regarding having her , work , finances , nursery etc was even easier . I do not think I was a better mum to any , I was wiser with each child and I think different now in my 40s than I did in my 20s or 30s . In my 20s my priority was getting a career and traveling so my oldest traveled the world with me , in my 30s my focus was promoting my career so my first a second child benefited from better wages , more expensive holidays lots of activities , in my late 30s and 40s I realised career is not as important and I already progressed a lot so we moved out of the city to a rural setting where schools are better and kids have much more access to nature , so the kids will all benefit from a different lifestyle that has benefited them so much ,more time from me to them , they have a ton of pet they love having as dogs , chickens , goose , we are comfortable financially so no added stress .
There is no magic number or magic correct time . Society changes and we somewhat adapt .

They can still finish their education. Most colleges have nurseries attached to them now. Plus not everyone goes to uni anyway

It always gets trotted out on here that all teen mum's are doomed to fail and be a waste of everyone else's tax money. Then there was the claim of a "cycle of doom" where the children of teen mum's are guaranteed to also become teen mum's and It ends with great granny being 60. 😂

Not true in my experience and I know load of teen mum's and was one my self.

But presumably you offer respite care to more than 8 children.

I think the boundaries between generations were less clear in the past. Children born to women in their 40s often had multiple older siblings who took care of them. My grandma’s divorced much-younger brother came round for a weekly meal until she died in 1990, while my oldest aunt was close in age to grandad’s youngest brother.

There have always been older parents - but agree the number of older parents as a percentage and the demogrpahic consquence of bigger gaps between generations is discussed but still often missed.

I get the impression of Instutions and governments are assume people will just work longer and have same number of kids but later or we can use immigration despite birth rates falling in most of world now.

There will be consquences. There used to be time between retirement and kids leaving home to build savings and that's also going and more dealing with elderly parents and young kids at same time and the strain that can cause.

It's apparently due to change in attitude - that kids used to be something you did alongside life milestones - they are now seen as cap stone events - something to do when everything else is done.

It's why having kids late 20 early 30 before we bought house (we were married) was so frowned upon by people who had kids in their late teens early 20s in our families. At same time many life events are getting harder to acheive and happen at later and later ages.

The Birth gap guy cites people waiting to long before trying for kids - but UK data suggests a lot is smaller families - some of that age but also costs and lack of support play a role.

Also there a taboo that older parents - men as well - often have higher problems conceiving and within kids born. I think there's also a lack of transparency about freezing eggs and number who use donor eggs and sperm.

Though I think it's odd women get a lot of messaging about time limits and increasing risks men in our society don't - and while some may not want kids some do seem to be deluded about how much time they have left to make decision in.

We have a couple of mum friends who had their babies earlier in age than us

We put more emphasis on homework/revision so have introduced these ideas to their teens, where we can hear the ideas formulated round our table (from our teens) come out in class articulately (we are just as pleased for them).

They love going to arcades and fast food and take teens out and are like a kid themselves

We play to our strengths and give freely.
As people say it takes a village.

Just a very small example

But no judgement here, a blending of styles, abilities, resources, has made all the teens grow, feel part of something bigger than just their family. See there are many paths to follow, or change in life.

We would miss all this colour if we sat there scowling mentally working out if they were a tax drain or not. FFS.

It's not ideal being in your 60s and still having parents alive. Just saying.

Are you OP?! 🤔

Yes, and it is dressed up as “concern” in a very patronising, preachy tone.

I had my first baby at 19, which was far too young for me personally looking back. Gone on to have more, but have never judged another mother for her choice.

Women cannot win - you wait and you are demonised for being an older mothers (some have tried for years), you have them young and you are demonised all the same.

And on top of that, you need to build a career, hold it down and do the lions share of childcare.

Why is it always on the women when we are expected to do it all, have it all, and be it all?

We are just about at 100 years of suffragettes

Not far out of being 100 years of the two world wars

Society changes all the time

Humans adapt, it’s why we are successful.

We can look at reasons for older parents, we can try and offer incentives to alter or change things but there are thousands of individual factors leading to birth age and rate.

There will be some winners, some losers, but most will be the everything in between.

Having a child has always been a risk, still is in many places.

You can throw caution to the wind and say “it’ll be fine” or plan meticulously to try and get all conditions perfect. It rarely turns out how you imagine, life is too unpredictable. A vibrant society with all types of parents and children is good for everyone. Accept people’s choices, help where you can.

We made a welcome suggestion to a mum of a baby in a buggy who wouldn’t go to sleep yesterday, asleep 5 minutes later. She could then have a peaceful conversation with her friend (who saw us and said “he’s asleep” we both cheered softly)

We should be trying to pull each other up not trample others down.

This thread is batshit 🤣🤣

a pp claimed that teen mums will save us taxes over older mums. Statistically this is untrue of them as a group because teen mums are overwhelmingly more likely to be a net cost to the taxpayer

Is this a veiled dig at older parents?

My parents had me young but I didn't have great grandparents, they were long gone. Nor did I have any wider family as they all live abroad.

I had my kids late, me and their father were established in our careers and it meant I could afford to take a few years off to be a stay at home mum. I was still fit enough to do all the things a younger mum could do.

Yes, I'll probably die when they're in their 40s but I hope I have shown them that you can do whatever you want with your life. You don't have to follow societal norms.

Just because someone has less money doesn’t mean they are devoid of love and devotion.

Many young people who have children earlier find it’s that which gives them the drive to become better for their children.

Who has said otherwise? But factually poorer people are less likely to have dc now. What on earth has happened to comprehension on this thread 😆😆

Possibly but then you just almost always perpetuate the cycle of poverty and low expectations sadly.

I see it in my own community - in the council estate where I came from many of my school mates are grandmothers in poor health and circumstances. Those who had children later are doing better. But you’re right that cause and effect isn’t clear- it may be that people who would have poor outcomes anyway would have children young regardless. One is not necessarily causing the other (although common sense shows it must be contributing)

So less tax support will be required.

Even if you sort pension funding out, health costs are going to increase plus more people renting in retirement, increased defence spending. Taxes are only going up and up

I didn’t see that thread but the facts remain that teens will not have finished their education or be financially able to support a child without help. It’s not a trivial disadvantage- it’s a bad idea to have children as a teenager. It works out ok for some (but not for most sadly) but it’s not a desirable state of affairs

So surely if you are in a poorer, lower life expectancy society the inclination is to have your children young?

Oh is that what this is all about.

So displaying the me me me attitude that is part of the root cause of the social issues they appear to be concerned about?

The conversation was about parents dying when children are young. I pointed out that yes, it’s maybe more likely if they are old but also more likely if they’re poor (poorer communities have lower life expectancy).