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Original poster

To discuss the societal impacts of older parents?

541 replies

Kindersurprising · 26/04/2025 21:22

I feel like this is a really under-discussed area, particularly as it’s now really extremely common (particularly in middle class circles) to have a first baby after 30 and in many cases 35+.

I feel like in 20 years we are going to see quite a big impact, in adults having fewer (if any) siblings due to parental age, caring for elderly parents while having small children themselves, a lack of grandparent support and I guess a smaller family circle much earlier on. I only realised today that it will be vanishingly rare for kids to have great grandparents soon - my DC have only one, through me.

The positives are often cited as more money, and more life experience.

I was 30 when DC2 was born, so somewhere in the middle and not a young parent as such. I often wonder what it would be like to have had them earlier.

How do you think this will play out in the next 20-50 years?

OP posts:
BassesAreBest · 26/04/2025 21:35

I think it seems a recent thing that people know their great-grandparents. All my grandparents had died by the time I was 20, and I don’t think I was a particular outlier in that from people I know IRL.

I never knew my great-grandparents. My parents never knew theirs, either.

People have been having children when they’re 30 - 35 for ages.

ReplacementBusService · 26/04/2025 21:33

My grandma's generation of women and before were having babies well into their 40s, until they hit menopause. There was minimal access to birth control. Older parents have always been a thing.

Ridelikethewindypops · 26/04/2025 21:33

I built a career before having kids ( in my late 30s) I have a good pension and will pay for my own care. I don't expect my kids to mind me and I've often told them that.

Original poster
Kindersurprising · 26/04/2025 21:33

MidoriNoRingo · 26/04/2025 21:30

I need to look up that stats for children with severe disabilities and parental age. I work in respite care for severely disabled children and all of the parents are older.

Older because their kids are older, or older when they were born? I think this is another consequences which probably needs to be anticipated - off the top of my head there are 2 DC in DC1’s primary class who will need lifelong care. The kids are 6, one set of parents is late 40s and the other around 40 I would say. I think it’s likely there will be more DC needing care earlier.

OP posts:
MidnightPatrol · 26/04/2025 21:32

My parents had me in their late 30s, and it’s honestly never crossed my mind that they’re older than average.

I don’t live locally so not much grandparenting going on anyway.

Both parents fit and fiddles in their 70s and usually off on holiday or partying tbh.

I think a bigger issue is the general breakdown of communities helping out with raising children - parenting so often seems to be such a solo activity for modern parents, which makes it incredibly hard and is no doubt a factor in the low birth rate.

TaupeMember · 26/04/2025 21:32

MidoriNoRingo · 26/04/2025 21:30

I need to look up that stats for children with severe disabilities and parental age. I work in respite care for severely disabled children and all of the parents are older.

All the parents? Seriously?

If you'd said a higher proportion or most of the parents of the disabled children you work with were older, you'd be more believable.

Chrysanthemum5 · 26/04/2025 21:31

I have a huge family and DH has a pretty big family. We had very little family support, even though they as individuals had a lot of grandparent support etc. age of family makes no difference - it's their attitude towards helping that matters

Mum2jenny · 26/04/2025 21:31

Plenty of parents don’t have children until mid 30s. Don’t understand what your issues are. My dc were born when I was 33 and 34.

TaupeMember · 26/04/2025 21:30

Yabvu to say that being an older parent is discussed only in positive terms on here.

Total nonsense and makes your whole post seem very disingenuous.

Trying to start a bun fight.

MidoriNoRingo · 26/04/2025 21:30

I need to look up that stats for children with severe disabilities and parental age. I work in respite care for severely disabled children and all of the parents are older.

ahe2 · 26/04/2025 21:30

first baby after 30 Hmm

I think in the majority of cases, those who have one child do so because they only want one. I don’t think many people actually want or can afford more than two.

Original poster
Kindersurprising · 26/04/2025 21:28

HarpSnail · 26/04/2025 21:26

I’m surprised you think it’s ’under-discussed’.

Well teenage pregnancy is discussed a fair bit on here, but older parenting only in terms of the positives of more money etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Kindersurprising · 26/04/2025 21:27

MotherOfRatios · 26/04/2025 21:25

My mum had me at 35 and I'm in my mid 20s and I'm an only child and it honestly doesn't bother me. I probably won't have children. I think people think being an only child is really bad and is not that big of a deal in my opinion.

I don’t think it’s a death sentence!!! I mean more how this will play out for society as a whole, over the next 50 years or so. For example I know quite a few couples with disabled DC, who will obviously have to stop caring for them earlier due to their age. So I think another consequence will be more DC needing state care earlier.

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 26/04/2025 21:27

I don't think many people except to know their great grandparents.

HarpSnail · 26/04/2025 21:26

I’m surprised you think it’s ’under-discussed’.

MotherOfRatios · 26/04/2025 21:25

My mum had me at 35 and I'm in my mid 20s and I'm an only child and it honestly doesn't bother me. I probably won't have children. I think people think being an only child is really bad and is not that big of a deal in my opinion.

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