To discuss the societal impacts of older parents?

From personal experience of having children from my teens to my mid forties! I would say there have been pros and cons to each age to have children, my older children benefited from much more involvement from their grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and even knew their great grandparents plus family friends. Where as it’s much more just been us and their friends from school etc with our younger ones. It’s kind of sad in a way our children very rarely get to experience the family gatherings/weekends together that we often had when my older children were young. I’ll hopefully still be around for a while for them (although not able to help out much as such with the grandchildren as so busy with work and my younger children) Our younger children I feel have benefited from a more comfortable and stable life than the older ones did and in our case have lots of siblings! Also us having more life/parenting experience.

Older parents put less pressure on the planet's resources, and it is therefore this is helpful for both over population and climate change. This is because people who have children older have generations that are more spread out, so families with older children are collectively using fewer of the planet's resources.

But what about all the people who don't have dc?

Maybe if people could afford a home in their 20’s then they would consider having kids then. It’s natural for people to not want to struggle.

I think you are saying that you aren’t jealous or have an issue with women who started families a bit older than you because of your professional standing? It’s the first I’ve heard a mumsnet boast about fitting a category of witnessing a passport! My friends and I all have those types of credentials so it is a funny boast to me. But it doesn’t really explain the motive of a thread which seems to pit one category of parent against another. I find it weird, almost like a competition needs to be started about the ‘right’ type of parent, but it’s not unusual to see on here.

These people do not exist. No one is waiting until their 40s to start a family because they were savings millions first. No one.

It's all those things I am sure. But there's also an insinuation or implied statement in some of the posts on here that it's just infra dig in certain social circles to have babies before your mid thirties. So if you are part of the upper middle classes (or, more likely, aspiring upper middle ) then it's also a social pressure /wish to fit in that is at play (consciously or otherwise)

I find that fascinating.

But then my family are upper middle class eccentrics so I was raised to think it was tremendously dull to fit in (excruciatingly embarrassing as a teen, wonderfully liberating as an adult)

The idea that people feel so pressured by the financial constraints of society that they're not having kids until they can take care of them properly makes them selfish is baffling to me
the message has been drummed in about don't have dc if you can't afford them &
people have listened

I had my first at 23 and looking back I was too young. I was selfish at times, e.g. lie in and my mum did some school drop offs. Looking back now I just want to shake myself and wish I had done more with dd. 30s is a much better age to hve children

You're missing a key advantage of older parents, op.

Older parents put less pressure on the planet's resources, and it is therefore this is helpful for both over population and climate change. This is because people who have children older have generations that are more spread out, so families with older children are collectively using fewer of the planet's resources.

Seems like a slightly idealistic attitude. My mum was 39 when she had me, her only child (she is now 74) and I never thought once about having an "older" parent. What about those that don't meet their partner (like my wife and I) until they are over 30? Also some people have fertility issues and pregnancy losses, so it's not possible for them to have kids any younger. Everyone has opinions about when people should be having families but often, has no idea of what some people are up against.

You’re not wrong OP, I’ve thought this for a while.

Surely the selfish attitude would be "I have no means of funding this endeavor.... Fuck it I'll do it anyway and someone else will pick up the tab."

The idea that people feel so pressured by the financial constraints of society that they're not having kids until they can take care of them properly makes them selfish is baffling to me.

I am a bit concerned, but then I’m also concerned about the ageing population and the mental health crisis. But I feel this one isn’t discussed on here, probably because it’s quite a middle class website and most of the mums are a bit older,

It's CONSTANTLY discussed on here. I say that as a child free woman so I have no absolutely no horse in the race. Threads expressing faux 'concern' over the supposed explosion in older mothering are a perennial feature of this forum.

I also think inheritance will happen earlier, which I suppose could be a positive and offset some of the economic issues

more of that will get eaten up by care costs

One thing I'm not seeing ever being discussed when we talk about falling birth rates and how they're going to affect the population is that the 1.2 (or whatever) kids per woman are going to be born a lot later in that woman's life, so where we had 3 generations we will now have 2 generations, and what impact that will have on society, care, and how it will accelerate depopulation. I already see it with mine vs DH's families, his parents met later in life and had him much older than my parents had me, or my grandparents had them, so his parents are 3 years younger than my grandparents.

Whereas I can see some quite big societal impacts coming up and everyone will say ‘why did nobody see that coming and prepare for it?’

The falling birth rates, ageing population & the subsequent costs have been a thing for years but most of the public aren't interested or prefer to blame the boat people.

I mean many schools in London are up the creek due to falling rolls and the funding model.

I am that person you envision in the future. Mum had me age 38, dad was 42. Only child due to many losses. i also had my DD age 38 but was lucky enough to have DS age 42. Now I am 50 with a 12 yr old and 7 yr old and I look after my 88 yr old mum. Dad died a while back. I am what is referred to as a sandwich carer and you are absolutely right when you say there will be more of me in the future.

I actually think it will be worse than I have it as my mum does have carers 4x daily ( she has dementia) I help in between that. She part funds that but part is paid for by social services. How long will that continue for? Many many people my age, I woukd say most do not have plans/ security for the future, partly as people often don’t think about it but also with the cost of living now most people are struggling with even a basic amount of savings let along planning future care!

The writing is on the wall with this and has been for a long time. The impact on society could potentially be huge!

I only realised today that it will be vanishingly rare for kids to have great grandparents soon

This isn't exactly the stuff of Shakespearean tragedy though, is it? And I'm doubtful whether it was EVER common to have living great grandparents, given mortality and live expectancy rates for our forefathers.

My parents had me in their mid 30s and my sibling in their early 30s in the 1970s. They were perhaps later than in starting their family than many of their generation but it was my sibling who died in childhood, not either of them. My mum lived to her 70s and my father is still going in his mid 80s.

I think, as others have said, the only thing that has changed is the age people START having children - having kids into one's 30s and 40s has always been the norm.

Well teenage pregnancy is discussed a fair bit on here, but older parenting only in terms of the positives of more money etc

You're joking! I never see a thread or posts about teen parents but every week there's a thread accusing parents of being selfish shits for having a child aged 40+

@ThePiglet no worries

Yes I think you’ll always find some people who are a bit snotty towards what they didn’t do.

”I had mine early, I couldn’t bear to be an older parent, who would do that to a child?? It’s such a burden to have older parents”
”I had mine later, I wanted to be settled into my career and have the finances to give my child a better childhood than if I’d been younger, plus I got to enjoy my twenties!”