To discuss the societal impacts of older parents?

I'm 31 with an 11mo, and she's the love of my life. So much so, that I wish I'd had her 10 years ago, just so I could have more years with her.

My GM was born in 1916 and had my mum at 35 due to some infertility and my mum thought she didn’t want kids and at 30 suddenly had the urge but GP lived until 80s.

l have quite a few friends who have lost parents/spouse who had their kids in their 20s very young. So what is right or wrong? I mean 50 plus is probably ridiculous.

does annoy me men don’t lose their ability to procreate.

@hazelowens I think you are a little out of touch, are your dc grown up?

There is a very small increase in the likelihood of special needs for children born to older parents. The vast majority however are healthy and do not have additional needs.

Not bitter. I had a career (good enough position) not high up there, but safe. Own mortgage, DH and completed my family by age 27. I progressed to a more specialised role when the children were a wee bit older. We're bikers and have seen some beautiful sites on our motorbikes - cheap accommodation, b&bs, travelled light. Cheap as chips if you want it to be. My DH is a mastermind with frugality and it paid off. You can do some things with children too. I just think some people see children as a "burden" and they don't see that life can happen with and around those dear human beings. Our kids are part of us, they come with us. You don't have to do everything 'exciting' like travelling wild places all before kids and then decide you need to be a martyr to studying Sebastiens every move. Make kids part of your exciting plans ! Travel can be cheap !

I don't do pregnancy well, with all my pregnancy u have HG being sick same days up to 50 times. I spent 11 weeks in hospital pregnant with my oldest. 5 weeks with my middle boy and then with my youngest I had severe pelvis disorder walking with crutches at the end as I could have a wheel chair as I was an upstairs flat

I think it’s potentially true for older parents as they’re from more middle class backgrounds. You’d have to separate out the confounding factors probably.

wealthier areas have longer healthy life expectancies & life expectancy vs poorer areas but i don't think within those areas it's changed much in recent years & who knows re parents.

My DM had me at 24 and died in her mid 40s. I was 33 when I had DS1. He is already older than I was when my DM died - so because of my experiences I don’t think about this at all. Having DC at a young age is no guarantee of a good family outcome

@SquashedMallow I agree entirely. We're a selfish generation or two. It's all 'me me me and my career' and travel. And there's so much over planning and over thought into every minutiae of planning a family. It's utter overkill. Stable relationship -essential. Own home - pretty much essential. Good enough salary in a secure job -essential. 10 million pound saved up for bamboo toys and Sebastians future neuro science degree, 5 trips to Australia and CEO of Barclays - not essential.

I don't have my own home. I'm not the CEO of Barclays and I think I've only had one foreign holiday in the last decade. So how am I being selfish by not having children?

I had my kids at 38 and 40. I got pregnant quickly and bounced back easily. If you’re healthy, 30s isn’t that old.

I had my ds at 38, dh was 42. My mum had me at 18, brother at 22 and my youngest sibling at 35 (yes same Dad for all kids). My ds was 10 when his great granny died and she was 27 when she had my Dad. My MIL was 30 when she had DH so real mix just in our direct circle!

I was born in the 60s and only had one grandparent that I knew as a child and she died when I was 18. Lots of generations alive and healthy enough to socialise at once is quite a recent phenomenon, tbh.

Imagine being cared for by a robot 😳 am I the only one to find that truly bleak?

better a robot then nothing!

Seriously?

That's still so young. Most people have babies around those ages and have perfectly healthy pregancies, myself included.

People are staying healthy a lot longer

this really is a bit of a myth.

You are controlling, and a bit dense.

I've called you out on many mistruths and your clearly biased and goady stance.

You didn't want to engage in what was clearly a genuine attempt to get you to debate with honesty and evidence.

And when I said I'm stepping away as this thread isnt what you make out, you now want to say something to me?

Urgh. Why didn't you just admit you wanted a thread to discuss all the negatives of older parents?

You can make your inevitable childish comment in response to this, and get the last word.

I honestly wish you well, and hope you work some of your issues out through this thread

Screenshot below

I had my children at 23,25 and 29 and the one at 29 was hard in my body. My mum was 31 and 33 when she had my brother and sister and she was in hospital a lot both times and she said it was hard.

@JLou08 do you think? who will own the tech & provide it? Even if it's cheaper than a human why won't companies won't want to profit since you know capitalism?

Yes but most people don't realise that although additinal needs are at an increased risk. It's still not common!

For autism for example ...

'Even so, the absolute chance of having a child with autism is low even for the oldest parents. The researchers in the 2017 study calculated that about 1.5 percent of children born to parents in their 20s will have autism, compared with about 1.58 percent of children born to parents in their 40s'

I think I'd probably prefer the robot over a care home if I had family or friends who would pop in to see me now and again.