Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

Not quite sure why you’re so bothered

I ran it last year. DC and DH were there but I missed them. I did have my running club for support. It is so helpful having someone you know shout your name or give you a hug when you feel you can’t take another step. If the husband isn’t bothered then so what? I’m marshalling at it tomorrow - tell me his number and I’ll keep an eye out for him 😂. I don’t blame her for not going as it is tedious being an observer. But would be nice for her DH to have someone at the finish.

I wouldn't be standing there either.

This is my thinking: Unless she runs along with him, elbowing the cheering hordes out of the way, she's only going to be able to see him staggering past for a minute or so. And if (by arriving at sparrowfart) she gets a place near the finish, she'll have a very long day and may never see him at all.

Why is the OP so 'concerned' about this though? It has absolutely ZERO to do with her. Unless (as I and some others suspect,) she is the runner - or the runner's partner. I can't imagine why anyone would give a shit about another person not being supported in their running by their partner!

To e fair, AIBU is almost never the place to post about the things you are most concerned about. Trivial shit is much more appropriate.

I wouldn't either. I would come to see the very end and make sure I had a nice meal prepared for him and a hot bath for him too at home. No way would I be sitting out in the cold bored out of my skull.

Did you not post last week, asking whether YWBU to not watch your husband run the London marathon, because your friend had mentioned that you were being unfair?
Or maybe you really are the friend in which case I'm sure your friend was asking if she was being unreasonable.
I think if you are the wife and you are having this much trouble justifying not going then you should just go and watch.

My dad used to run marathons. I love my dad but omg it's such a time consuming hobby. Out running all the time, talking about running, expecting my mum to be stood in the cold and wet cheering him on. I don't know how she put up with it. DH runs races every so often, I drop him off and go for a coffee or round the shops.

I've watched my OH run a few marathons - far smaller than the London one - often watch the 'end' - I've had to drop him and collect him from them too.

It's not that interesting!

The London Marathon is huge- and honestly she probably wont see him unless he knows his time - and gets near the end - and even then it might be super busy

It really is none of your business..

She doesn't understand him.

A huge deal? Really? Dh runs at least one marathon a week. He’d laugh at the thought of actually entering an official marathon, would just be a mid range training run for him. 🤷‍♀️

It all depends really - does her DH want her to go? Is the running something she's fully on board with or has it dominated her life in a bad way for months? Has he run lots of marathons before?

Like any sport or hobby, expecting other people to come along and watch you do something with no real return for them is a bit of an ask. Even more so something like this that's a ball ache to get to, lots of waiting around, and when (assuming you don't miss them) you do see them it's for a few seconds. Going along occasionally, if the hobby has been something beneficial for your partner without being detrimental to you, is a nice thing to do for them and a fairly normal part of a good relationship. But hobby's aren't all like that. And going along when you are already resentful might be the straw that breaks...

Yes it mean, my husband has done marathon, triathlon and even an iron man distance triathlon I’ve always been there. The ironman was 14 hours long and we seen him on the course a few times and we are always at the finish to watch him over the line

Dh runs ultra marathons and I don’t even bother going to watch, not even the 250 mile one! I’ve told him if he does Mont Blanc ultra I might come but mainly because I fancy a jolly to Chamonix! 😀

Amen.
Ditto cycling and Ironman and peak climb challenges.

Staying at home while your partner runs a marathon is a perfectly reasonable decision and might even make the marathon experience less stressful for the runner because they only have to think about their own needs and not about a supporter. There's a whole infrastructure built around looking after the people running on the day.

I used to run and so many people do marathons for a laugh on a Sunday, they aren't necessarily a big thing. London is a bit more special due to the difficulties in getting a place but it's still "only" 26.2 miles.....for some.

Others though need the support. It's a huge challenge for them.

If my hubby was latter I would definitely go. The former...possibly not unless I could wangle a weekend away in London at the same time! I'd watch on TV though.

Ah, yes I get it.

As if you would stand around for 4 hours just on the off chance you might see your DH run past 🤣

I know two male ultramarathoners. Both were divorced by their wives. Our entire friendship group just rolls its collective eyes and says ‘Therapy would be cheaper’ when they set off for another 340 miles through the Arctic where, depending on the conditions, they sometimes need to take a day course in shooting and to carry firearms in case they come across polar bears.

In the husband's place, I wouldn't want her to go if it she didn't enjoy the experience. If it were a huge deal, like I were up for a medal in the Olympics, that might be different - but just a local annual marathon, it's fine. And if I DID want her to go, I'd let her know I'd especially appreciate her support in this particular instance - but that would only make sense if I were happy to reciprocate.

First post nails it

I’m guessing it’s because you’ve started a thread making out she’s a shit wife?

Anyway YABU. I waited for DH to finish a half marathon once. Our kids were little but it was hours out the house on a cold day and it’s pretty boring, all you see them do is run for a it, then go home. Not everyone needs loads of validation from others

Same. In fact I thank God my DH isn't a runner. The marriage would very likely not last much longer if took up running.

Because runners are boring. They spend a LOT of time talking about running, and practicing for their running, and a lot of time with other runners.