Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

Watching marathons is very, very tedious. And the person you’re watching out for may well be the other side of the road when they pass you and not see or hear you, and they're past in a couple of seconds. There will be plenty of crowds cheering all the runners on.

You’ve come on to mumsnet to bash her for no reason.

I disagree. My husband ran two London marathons and three in other cities. We had young twins and most marathons were more than 150 miles away. He enjoyed the prep and ran for charities. I did care how he was and about his achievements but couldn’t go.

A marathon is about 26 miles, is it not?
How could she watch the whole thing without running it herself?
She could be there for the start, do off and do other stuff and be there for the finish - some hours later, unless the husband is an elite athlete.
By the way, watching a marathon is not that great, the athletes smell disgusting!

Well yeah, I do find the 'I wish I had your life if this is all you have to worry about' comment a bit daft to be fair. Just because someone is bothered about something trivial, that doesn't mean they haven't got other shit going on in their life.

I rarely watch DH’s races. Lots of waiting around, pushing through crowds, 10 second run past if you’re lucky enough to catch them, waiting around for them to finish, trying to find each other afterwards. Don’t blame her for not going.

Having ran it pre-kids and then taking very young dc to watch dh run it, along with watching family members over the years, tbh if he’s going with friends/running club members it’s easier to just support from home, especially if you aren’t a long distance runner. He’ll be limping around, just wanting to chill out etc and unless he’s an elite athlete, the reality is he’ll be a nightmare tonight (not being able to sleep from excitement/ anxiety) and tomorrow he’ll not be able to sleep as he’ll be aching everywhere … dh and I now have an agreement where if we’re long distance racing, we either stay solo in a hotel or sleep in the spare room!

The likelihood of being able to watch someone cross the actual finish line at the London Marathon is incredibly slim!

For my dad, and likely many other runners, the London Marathon also isn’t their first marathon, not if they run regularly.

I’m the runner in our relationship OP and I couldn’t give a monkeys anymore if anyone comes to watch. Perhaps if it was my first ever marathon, fine I’d like him there but these days he enjoys a mornings peace. Everyone is different!

My dad ran it 4 times when I grew up. We went once to watch. Even back then it was incredibly busy and you see them for such a short period of time, and before they are busy getting sorted too. The other times we supported by watching in TV and trying to spot him in the thousands running.

I have supported DH twice at the London Marathon. Twenty years ago it was fab, last year it was so much busier and more stressful (though I did have three teenagers with me). I would probably still go, just in case he collapsed or something, but I would rather not.

It’s fine, his girlfriend from running club will be there presumably. [notgrin]

You AIBU - none of your business and you are being judgy. Are you one of those women who follow their men around and praise them all the time for all their activities whilst doing none yourself. Or maybe I’m assuming stuff about you, as you are about your neighbour?

I agree it’s nothing to do with her, though don’t see why she can’t be curious about her reaction.

I very much disagree that “is this the worst thing you have to worry about” is ever a reasonable response on AIBU. AIBU isn’t fit for things that you should be bothered about. The trivial stuff that is not really anything to do with you is its level.

Sounds like you are talking about some bloke you fancy and his totally sensible wife.

Not your friends DH. Definitely not your friend…

How many has he run? My dad did several marathons and we probably only went to the first two.

Why would you care? if you're so concerned about him having a fan club to cheer him on then go down and do it yourself.

But if he's not even your friend what difference does it make. I wouldn't physically be able to tolerate standing around in a large crowd in order to witness someone I knew running past amongst thousands of others for a few seconds.

It's not my cup of tea at all. But if you want to watch it why not go down there?

Retired marathon runner here.

Does he routinely run marathons/long distance? If so it’s just another day out for him and that it’s the London marathon is just another day for him.

If he’s not a seasoned runner the the training over the last few months will have been brutal and all consuming. In which case you’d “friend” will have been left carrying the can on the childcare whilst the DH spends his tues and Thursday nights and all day Sunday running for hours on end, and then coming home and talking about it for hours on end.

its either no big deal or she’s sick to the back teeth of hearing about it, and both of these are absolutely fine.

If it were my DH I’d have a tracker on him. I’d try and catch him at the start, go sit in the pub with a book a few hours and then try and catch him at the end!

I said SPORT a lot there, sorry!

Yeah @writingsonthewall it is NO fun if you're not involved in the running. Incredibly boring actually. Same with most sports really. I thank God that my DH has naff-all interest in any sport. We very likely wouldn't be together otherwise. I would never have got with a man who was 'sporty,' or into any sport. And the relationship would struggle if he suddenly got into any sport. (Ain't gonna happen!)

Maybe she does not like crowds, maybe she find watching this type of event really boring.

Regardless it is none of your business whatsoever...

The views on this thread are so funny to me. I accidentally clicked you are being unreasonable but i meant to click the other one.
i am a runner to be fair but i do think its a bit of a poor show not to go and support, however that is caveated with a million things such as taking small children would not be fun, if it’s a long way from home that’s a big expense, if he’s done lots of marathons before then that could become dull etc. But generally I think that would be a nice thing to do. Appreciate London is super busy on marathon day and there is a risk you may miss each other but with some planning it should be fine.

i appreciate I am saying all of this from the viewpoint of a runner though, and I actually love going to watch, even if it’s not people I know. I enjoy the atmosphere, seeing the elites, seeing the fancy dress costumes etc.

It's bloody boring waiting for people to finish a run.

Well maybe she's a "marathon widow" (if that's an expression) so she's forgotten about him. Golf, cycling, marathon running, I'm sure there are other time consuming hobbies that can build resentment at a partner never being around.
If my partner checked out of family life/relationship in favour of disappearing for hours for a hobby I'd not be inclined either!