Friends husband running the marathon tomorrow but she’s not going to watch him

Do you fancy him?

It’s a bit shitty tbh. Every single one of my friends who’s done the marathon (in this country) has been supported by their partner. Frankly, it’s not meant to be a fun day out for them, running the marathon isn’t exactly a bundle of laughs.

This is pathetic. Not wanting to stand around in a massive crowd in the boiling heat all day to maybe not even get a glimpse of someone does not make anyone a bad partner🤣

Depends on circumstances

My OH run marathon today. I didn't go as have kids one with SEN and they would hate all the crowds . May not be able to find him at the finish line and will cause stress trying to find him with all those people to be honest London is a nightmare with bus replacement and he will have dinner ready for when he gets home. All that matters is what the runner (person taking part in marathon think ) IMO

@Cherrytree86 Probably, but defends on what else they are not doing. If they live separate lives, I guess they don’t care.

No one can run a marathon without substantial training. So it takes time away from doing other things. Thats ok in some families but not in others. I am saying this as DH spent time playing golf when our dc were little. Entirely selfish. Took up half a weekend. In the end choices had to be made. I’ve seen runners go out weekends and evenings in relentless pursuit of times. One friend died on a marathon. I think a bit of fun running is fine, obsessive running is selfish.

My 90 year old dad, ran the London marathon 3 times in the past, my mum, me and my sister were there every time, it's a huge achievement, who would not want to be there to celebrate that!

@TizerorFizz

what if you don’t have kids? Is it still a selfish hobby? Incidentally the couple Op is talking about have grown up children - does that still make it selfish?

First answer nailed it again.

The problem with a marathon is you mostly watch everyone else! Standing around for hours. We watched the 2012 Olympic marathon in London (in the grandstand) and it was the least exciting thing we saw. Our bit was on repeat so they went by a few times but other than be in awe of the speed the elite athletes run at, it feels remote and difficult to invest in. Watching the London marathon gives you around 100m to see anyone. Going for a wee and you’ve missed them!

Depends on the context - if her DH runs & is a running bore or does it with running mates & it’s all about that then don’t see why she needs to be there even if it is a big deal to him. If it’s a really personal thing & would mean a lot for her to be there then it might be different. I don’t know how you get to see them crossing the finish line with the amount of people going, so might not be the emotional finish you think is going to be. Or even at a viewing spot along the way. If you’ve got your own hobbies & interests I don’t think you have to both go unless it’s really important to one of you & you want them there. But then I think marathons are a bit weird if am honest!

Me too. I’m going to an athletics competition today all day to watch my eighteen year old run for twelve seconds but I enjoy it because there is so much to see. Watching a marathon does not appeal to me at all.

I'm awake at 5 am with a cough and am exhausted. Come all the way from Edinburgh to watch my daughter in the marathon as I didn't see her in 2021. I'm not looking forward to it at all as I hate crowds. She's doing the Edinburgh one in a month too. Ugh. But I'll still support her.

I wouldn’t go. Heaving crowds and loud people? No chance.
id do something nice for him when he got home and I would show my support in other ways.

I will run a marathon soon and do not expect DH to come watch me. It is my hobby, not his. In fact, he will take care of chores while I am racing. YABU.

Why would you need to think anything either way?

I wouldn’t watch either. I would find it quite boring. Surely you only get a quick glimpse and a wave at most?

It’s a lot of standing around in crowds to see a sweaty man waddle past. Nahh she can see him when he comes home

Maybe for the 1st marathon - for all the subsequent ones, no

Depends on the situation.

I have a friend who is a very avid runner. Multiple half marathons a year. Never been there to watch her, she wouldn't see why we would.

Another friend hates running with a passion but after a family members diagnosis ran a 5K for charity. It was a huge deal to her and we were there on the day to support her.

My dad has ran a half marathon a couple of times as he runs as a hobby and wanted a bigger goal. I didn't go, nor did my mum. The second time his brother did it with him so my mum did go and my mum and aunt set up with chairs, some wine and cheese and made a day of it - the ones who ran had to do the driving back 😅.

Average time for men is 4 hours 11 minutes, and you see them for what, a couple of minutes as they go past you?

I can see why she wouldn't, I don't think I would either.

I think it would be mean it was his first marathon but if it’s something he’s done before or if he regularly does endurance cycles etc then I think that there is no need for her to watch

Ohh I love how you summed that up
<pops that saying up my sleeve>

"It could not be less of your business"

I agree with this. If it is unusual for him I think nice if she could go but as a regular runner I wouldn't be bothered if family didn't come to watch as it is hard to see people

It’s his hobby and it’s a solo one. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do on my Sunday than watch other people running. It’s a very dull watch imo.

Id rather be back home doing something I enjoy and be ready to congratulate them on their return.