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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
12345mummy · 26/04/2025 23:35

YANBU to call for Police assistance. I hope your daughter is okay now x

WiggyPig · 26/04/2025 23:31

ACR7 · 26/04/2025 23:24

breaking the law and an emergency are not the same thing. Definitely a police matter but not an emergency. He was breaking the law but could have been dealt with in slow time

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Correct, they're not the same thing.

Do you understand the concept of either / or?

Thisismetooaswell · 26/04/2025 23:31

I would always see my child into the car before getting in myself, especially with a car parked next to us. I think you should have opened their door and got them in before going to the other side to get in yourself. And I don't think it was a 999 matter. And then the police attended, spoke to the driver, but you don't know what happened because you left??

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:29

ACR7 · 26/04/2025 23:24

breaking the law and an emergency are not the same thing. Definitely a police matter but not an emergency. He was breaking the law but could have been dealt with in slow time

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What about breathalysing him? With vehicle incidents they likely want to do that at the scene.

3luckystars · 26/04/2025 23:28

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:23

Umm but it’s a great lesson that if someone RUNS over your foot with a vehicle it’s better to just be quiet and hobble home, especially when he shouts that he didn’t do anything and refuses to give details?! Ok 🤣

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Yes and don’t bother the police or ambulance unless you are already dead.

Toughen up!!

ACR7 · 26/04/2025 23:24

WiggyPig · 26/04/2025 22:18

You say you work in policing.... you're not a police officer are you? If you are then I guess you must get a rough time in cross examination 😂

999 is for when someone is in immediate danger or where there is a crime in progress as per the link someone posted above.

"He was clearly going to do something that is against the law"

You've just identified that there was "clearly" a crime in progress because as you say, he was clearly going to do something against the law.

So it follows that 999 was the appropriate route.

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breaking the law and an emergency are not the same thing. Definitely a police matter but not an emergency. He was breaking the law but could have been dealt with in slow time

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:23

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 22:57

Parents aren’t doing their kids any favours by making them feel that they should be traumatised by minor incidents. Not a good lesson for coping with real issues in life.

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Umm but it’s a great lesson that if someone RUNS over your foot with a vehicle it’s better to just be quiet and hobble home, especially when he shouts that he didn’t do anything and refuses to give details?! Ok 🤣

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 26/04/2025 23:21

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:24

Because the law says that if you cause injury in a car accident then the police should be called? As opposed to a collision with no injuries which is a civil matter

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Looks like loads of people are in the “don’t make a fuss” brigade.

You did the right thing OP! If he wasn’t aggressive then it might have been different, but he was likely to drive off. The police would have told you off for calling if it was a waste of time, but it wasn’t.

I’d be fuming with DH that his fear of upsetting a stranger takes precedent over his own DD?!

3luckystars · 26/04/2025 23:20

martinirossi · 26/04/2025 17:56

YANBU. Your husband most likely didn't like the fact that you were the one who sprung into action, while he was being ineffective. Men are socialized to see themselves as the protector of their family, and your husband realised in that moment he didn't know how to do that effectively. So instead of supporting you while you took appropriate steps, he tried to minimise the situation instead. I saw my dad do this a lot with my mum growing up. If a man acted rude to her or one of us kids, he would become frustrated not towards the man but towards my mum for 'making a scene'

I have experienced this and it’s absolutely awful. Either someone is on your side or they are not. In these moments it becomes clear.

3luckystars · 26/04/2025 23:16

Fuck that. He injured your child and he is lucky all you did was call the police. Your husband is awful too and YOU WERE RIGHT.

you did not have an xray machine and didn’t know the full extent of the injury and the man was an idiot, had injured a little child and didn’t even admit it, not to mind offer medical assistance. YOU WERE CORRECT and I support you.

MDAC17 · 26/04/2025 23:15

Something along these lines happened to me once, I was the driver in slow moving traffic and a child walked out into the side of my car and grazed her foot off my back wheel, her parent insisted she was ok and only her shoe was scuffed but I phoned the police and asked them to attend as I had made contact with someone with my car and wanted reassurance that I had reported as necessary in the, probably unlikely, event that the parent/child wanted to make more of it later. The parents were a bit annoyed that I made them stay until the police came and took statements/breathalysed me etc but I wouldn’t have been happy to just drive off after what had occurred despite it not being my fault.

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 22:57

Newmumhere40 · 26/04/2025 22:55

This would be a non event if it was your child? Great parent.

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Parents aren’t doing their kids any favours by making them feel that they should be traumatised by minor incidents. Not a good lesson for coping with real issues in life.

Newmumhere40 · 26/04/2025 22:55

Sleepalldaylong · 26/04/2025 20:10

Rubbish. No wonder kids today are so neurotic and have no resilience when parents make such a drama out of a non-event.

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This would be a non event if it was your child? Great parent.

Newmumhere40 · 26/04/2025 22:54

ambercabs · 26/04/2025 17:22

I think you called the police because he minimised what happened not because you needed their assistance. The man wasn’t very nice about it but tbh all you needed was the registration number of the car, if that. Your child did not have her foot/ankle run over - the wheel must have just caught her and no more. Why did you even think you needed his details?

Of course she did! He injured the child. Clearly the idiot can't judge space when driving his vehicle!

Hallebere · 26/04/2025 22:39

My Mom ran over my foot as a youngster. It was the strangest thing. The wheel went over it and I felt the wheel do this and my immediate response was to scream, as well you know, she'd just run over my foot, which I did. However, then I realised immediately it didn't actually hurt at all which I found bizarre. Checked my foot and not so much as a scratch. Even to this day I don't know how that was possible.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 26/04/2025 22:37

Yes you were unreasonable calling 999. You should have just taken his number plate and car details. How did you describe the situation, just grazed foot or was it “my daughters been hit by a car and the driver is really aggressive refusing to give his details and about to leave the scene ”?

Police usually drop everything if a child is in danger. Did they arrive on blue lights? It was not really an emergency. I’m with your DH I’m afraid
(speaking as the wife of someone who puts his life on the line racing to answer 999 calls)

Hoardasurass · 26/04/2025 22:34

Whoarethoseguys · 26/04/2025 21:32

He didn't. If he had her foot would be broken. It sounds as though the edge of the wheel scraped her foot. Still scary for a child of course.

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Funny when my dad reversed over my foot it wasn't broken only really badly bruised

NappyArgument · 26/04/2025 22:31

I think people are really weird on Mumsnet about things like this.

Of course you did the right thing.

Rusteze · 26/04/2025 22:18

You did the right thing. I think a lot of people would have reacted in the same manner. I hope your daughter is ok.

WiggyPig · 26/04/2025 22:18

ACR7 · 26/04/2025 19:59

That’s interesting. She had already assessed her child’s foot and saw it was a skin scrape and he wasn’t being agressive. He was clearly going to leave the scene which is against the law but how is it an emergency if you can just take down his reg. He clearly wasn’t going to get out and hurt them if he was trying to leave.

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You say you work in policing.... you're not a police officer are you? If you are then I guess you must get a rough time in cross examination 😂

999 is for when someone is in immediate danger or where there is a crime in progress as per the link someone posted above.

"He was clearly going to do something that is against the law"

You've just identified that there was "clearly" a crime in progress because as you say, he was clearly going to do something against the law.

So it follows that 999 was the appropriate route.

NotSmallButFunSize · 26/04/2025 22:14

DUsername · 26/04/2025 17:31

If it wasn't a 999 matter then they wouldn't have attended, let alone so quickly surely?

I can't believe your DH was furious anyway. Even if he felt police weren't necessary, he's surely furious with the wrong person? It's entirely fucked up that he's angry with you not the idiot who hurt his child!!

Exactly - everyone saying it wasn't a 999 matter, well they answered, took the call and sent officers out so they obviously thought it was! I'm sure they would have fobbed it off if not.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 26/04/2025 22:14

I do think you should have been at your daughter's side with her until she was safely in your car. I hope she is OK.

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 22:09

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 18:55

why relevant?

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Just curious as the OP is constantly avoiding answering all the posts regarding taking her DD for an X-Ray 🤷‍♂️

LondonFox · 26/04/2025 22:07

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:23

He definitely knew he had hit her as he was less than two feet away, window down, and she screamed in an alarming way as he ran over her Sad

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Tbh at this point I am not sure what most of MN is all about.
Ffs someone ran a car over your childs foot and they are complaining you called 999?

In my case his GF would need to call it.

albapunk · 26/04/2025 22:07

I'm confused. If she was getting into the car, how could the tyre run over her foot as she would be facing towards the car?A tyre running over her foot wouldn't cause a scuff-type injury to the heel? It sounds more like the back of child's ankle was scuffed by the tyre/wheel rim edge.