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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
HollyBerryz · 26/04/2025 18:39

BoundaryGirl3939 · 26/04/2025 18:18

Both he and his girlfriend seemed to be confused, and were unaware that anything had take place. So I personally would give them the benefit of the doubt.
I wouldn't have approached their car all guns blazing. I would have explained that they had accidentally run over her foot (which was fine in the end), and allowed them to assess what was going on by viewing her foot. It also doesn't appear that he tried to flee the scene so I assume he was confused.
I get the vibe that you went on the attack straight away which meant the driver went on the defense. I know I shut down if I feel I'm being attacked out of nowhere.
Perhaps the police came because they thought the matter was far more serious than it actually was, and presumed your daughters foot was mangled.

Well that's even worse then isn't it. They've hit someone with a car and are unaware they've even done it

adviceneeded1990 · 26/04/2025 18:39

I agree with you that it’s a police matter but not an emergency one. I’d have taken my phone out and very obviously taken a picture of his number plate while informing him that I’d be passing it on to the police. If that didn’t produce his details I’d have called the non emergency police number when home.

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:38

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:30

Too late, in my view - and there's no guarantee that he was giving the correct details.

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There's never any guarantee for anyone ever, at any time though?

We can't all ring 999 just incase we're being given dodgy details?

LuluDelulu · 26/04/2025 18:38

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:29

But the OP should've stood them down because she said...

"the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details."

This is the point where the OP needed to tell them there was no need to attend.

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Incorrect. They could have been false details. You are quite wrong on this score. The minute he tried to leave the scene of an accident without giving details, however minor, he was committing a crime worthy of a 999 call.

Donttellempike · 26/04/2025 18:38

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:27

This is all very interesting and food for thought! The dispatcher said it was very much a police matter and they were there in minutes. I’m not sure what calling a non emergency would achieve where I had an injured child and the other driver refusing to provide details?

On the fence about this, but if you have the drivers license plate you have their details. Insurers have databases of names and addresses against all number plates

The bloke sounded like a complete arse, but maybe the non emergency umber would have been preferable. That said, why on earth did he not wait until your daughter was in the car?? I’d have been furious too

Shessweetbutapsycho · 26/04/2025 18:37

ExtraOnions · 26/04/2025 17:30

What did The Police do ? Or what did they suggest?

Was it a criminal offence? I’m not sure it’s a Civil one

Careless driving (doubtful it would constitute dangerous driving), and if not reported, leaving the scene of a road traffic accident where injury or damage occurred is also a criminal offense. OP absolutely did the right thing.

LuluDelulu · 26/04/2025 18:37

Absolutely right to call 999. Astonished anyone would think otherwise.

HollyBerryz · 26/04/2025 18:35

I don't think you were unreasonable. Surely 999 wouldn't dispatch anyone if they didn't think it was necessary?

MumWifeOther · 26/04/2025 18:35

If I had been you, and seen a couple in car next to ours, I would have insisted either myself or my husband would have safely got the children in. Either one of us would have happened the door for the children before we go into the car ourselves.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 26/04/2025 18:32

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:23

He definitely knew he had hit her as he was less than two feet away, window down, and she screamed in an alarming way as he ran over her Sad

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He didnt try flee the scene as some posters have said? If he was reversing to leave, he heard your daughter scream/cry and stopped.
He must have sat in his car for a while if you had time to exit the drivers seat, assess your daughter and then approach him. I don't think he fully knew what had happened.

WonderingWanda · 26/04/2025 18:31

Leaving the scene of an accident where you have injured a child is a perfectly reasonable reason to call 999, it's a crime in progress.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:30

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:29

But the OP should've stood them down because she said...

"the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details."

This is the point where the OP needed to tell them there was no need to attend.

Show quote history

Too late, in my view - and there's no guarantee that he was giving the correct details.

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:29

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:26

Normally, you'd be able to find the driver via the number plate - not so if it turned out to be a fake plate or a stolen vehicle. (There have been instances of those in my part of the country recently.)

In a situation where someone has been hurt and the driver is refusing to give his details, then I think that calling 999 is justifiable.

Show quote history

But the OP should've stood them down because she said...

"the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details."

This is the point where the OP needed to tell them there was no need to attend.

Original poster
hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:29

UpUpUpU · 26/04/2025 18:24

Was your husband there OP? Why was he not supervising your child getting in the car? Did he just jump in and leave a small child to potentially open the door into another car?

DD had actually got out of DH’s car (the other side of the man’s car) and was coming to get in mine.

There is no way this would have happened had I been in charge from the off as I would have made sure she was in the car before I started to get in. As it was, I was on the wrong side when it happened

OP posts:
ginasevern · 26/04/2025 18:27

Theroadt · 26/04/2025 18:24

I get the annoyance about no apology - still unsure from your description whether “mouthing off” is the aggression worthy of a 999 call. Why did you want his details? Sounds a bit like you’re sharking for an insurance claim, getting vengeful because the man brushed you off, or are generally a drama-lama or maybe a bit of all three. I think you and thd driver didn’t behave to your respective bests tbh. Sounds like you made a poor situation far worse for your daughter.

Do try to remember that the "drama lama" OP didn't run over her daughter's foot. Some bloke did who then didn't give two shits about it. Have you got kids?

Outrageistheopiateofthemasses · 26/04/2025 18:27

Agree with you OP. I would have done the same.

ManchesterLu · 26/04/2025 18:27

YANBU to phone the police. YABU to call the emergency number. Taking a number plate and calling non emergency number is the way to go in the future.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:26

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 17:37

Probably because you'd told the dispatcher he'd actually run over your child's foot.

It was definitely a police matter, but not one that needed an emergency response there and then.

Show quote history

Normally, you'd be able to find the driver via the number plate - not so if it turned out to be a fake plate or a stolen vehicle. (There have been instances of those in my part of the country recently.)

In a situation where someone has been hurt and the driver is refusing to give his details, then I think that calling 999 is justifiable.

Original poster
hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Maybe, maybe not, my foot was accidentally run over by my friend’s dad as a teenager when the car rolled back as I got out and there was barely even a mark…

OP posts:
Homesickandsad · 26/04/2025 18:26

Some of these responses are unbelievable. You absolutely did the right thing. He ran over your child’s foot. Without immediately reporting it to the police, he could have left and later denied any wrongdoing. How could you have proven he’d actually ran over her foot with a photo of his car?

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:26

OP, did you take your daughter for an X-Ray?

Coconutter24 · 26/04/2025 18:24

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:24

Because the law says that if you cause injury in a car accident then the police should be called? As opposed to a collision with no injuries which is a civil matter

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It wasn’t an emergency though so you shouldn’t have called 999. 101 would be the one to ring

Theroadt · 26/04/2025 18:24

I get the annoyance about no apology - still unsure from your description whether “mouthing off” is the aggression worthy of a 999 call. Why did you want his details? Sounds a bit like you’re sharking for an insurance claim, getting vengeful because the man brushed you off, or are generally a drama-lama or maybe a bit of all three. I think you and thd driver didn’t behave to your respective bests tbh. Sounds like you made a poor situation far worse for your daughter.

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:24

myplace · 26/04/2025 18:18

y don’t necessarily know how badly a child is injured at first. It takes time for them to calm enough for you to assess it.

And I would not be giving grace to a man who swears and tries to drive off without checking the person he’s injured is ok.

If he’s knocked someone off a bike would it be ok to just drive off?

Show quote history

And I would not be giving grace to a man who swears and tries to drive off without checking the person he’s injured is ok.

Where has the OP said he swore?

PrincessScarlett · 26/04/2025 18:24

OP, why did you leave before finding out from the police (that you called) what was happening? I do think you were right to call 999 as the driver was about to leave the scene of an accident without giving his details. But it looks odd to me that you then leave the scene of the crime without speaking to the police. I know your DD was upset but I would have at least checked in with the police before leaving.

Also, please take your DD to the hospital to check her foot isn't fractured.