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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:50

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:47

It’s absolutely bizarre how many people on this thread are insisting he didn’t run her over. He did! She screamed at the time, said he did and her heel/ankle has a 5cm by 2cm scrape on it

Why won't you say whether you took her for an X-Ray or not?

itsgettingweird · 26/04/2025 18:50

Well ….. his tyre scraped against her heel and/or foot.

Not sure I’d call that “run over” but semantics are a personal thing.

I just can’t imagine if o was in a situation where I thought my child had been run over and possibly had broken bones that I’d be even able to register taking the other patrons details, let alone arguing with them and calling the police.

My focus would have been on my child. Not the bloody Highway Code!

Marmaladelade · 26/04/2025 18:50

You child was not injured at an emergency level. Injury is blood gushing and danger of life. She had a little bit of a scraped skin. Please don’t do this

as others have said you could report on 101’or similar with the registration and leave it up to the police to deal with

nomas · 26/04/2025 18:49

The other driver was a prick but you and DH were also negligent. You should have seated your child before getting in the car yourself, especially when there is a driver in the car next to yours.

It’s a good thing dc isn’t more hurt.

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:49

dapsnotplimsolls · 26/04/2025 18:44

OK, now we need a diagram. Also, why was she getting out of his car to get into yours?

Three cars in a row:

|DH| |man| |me|

DD got out of DH’s car and came over to mine, round the front of the man’s car (he was facing forward and not reversing). Had I been DH I would have seen her across to my car, but he didn’t. To be fair the guy had been sitting there for ages, engine off so it was unexpected that he moved when he did

OP posts:
ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:49

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 26/04/2025 18:42

Bemused by the “You should’ve just taken his reg” and “When he started giving his details you should’ve have ended the call to the police” posts…
Who do you think she needs to give these details to? Couldn’t possibly be the police, could it??

The dispatcher said OP was right to phone. Bizarre that people who weren’t there and don’t work in emergency services think they know better.

Who do you think she needs to give these details to? Couldn’t possibly be the police, could it??

And you think the police need to come rushing down on a blue light to take the details? 🙄

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 26/04/2025 18:49

I’m utterly appalled by the minimizers here. Someone injures a child with a car and was going to leave the scene without giving details or reporting to police, which is a whole nother crime in itself!

JFC

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:47

It’s absolutely bizarre how many people on this thread are insisting he didn’t run her over. He did! She screamed at the time, said he did and her heel/ankle has a 5cm by 2cm scrape on it

OP posts:
Naepalz · 26/04/2025 18:46

Parker231 · 26/04/2025 18:41

What did you want his details for?

She had every right to ask for his details. He had injured her child with his vehicle. He was actually obliged to report this incident to the police himself and if he didn't want to give her his details he was obliged to supply them to the police.

lilacflowerpetal · 26/04/2025 18:45

2chocolateoranges · 26/04/2025 17:33

I agree with your husband, you over reacted. Personally when in a car park I would always go to the side my children were getting in the car so I could hold the door in case they bumped someone else’s car or in case someone went to move their car. A small child isn’t as noticeable as an adult.

you’ve said it was scrapes and bruises not an emergency , the police are stretched at the best of time.

This. I wouldn’t trust an 8 year old to open a door themselves in a car park!

CheeseNPickle3 · 26/04/2025 18:44

I think you did the right thing, OP. As you say, there was a crime happening right then and there, the guy wasn't going to give you details and if you'd told the police not to attend he could have then just denied it all.

dapsnotplimsolls · 26/04/2025 18:44

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 18:29

DD had actually got out of DH’s car (the other side of the man’s car) and was coming to get in mine.

There is no way this would have happened had I been in charge from the off as I would have made sure she was in the car before I started to get in. As it was, I was on the wrong side when it happened

OK, now we need a diagram. Also, why was she getting out of his car to get into yours?

IsItSnowing · 26/04/2025 18:44

He was attemptign to leave the scene of an accident without giving his details. I believe this is legally necesary when someone is injured. Fortunately, she was ok but he wasn't to know that.
If it wasn't appropriate I'm sure the police would have said so when you rang but since they agreed it was a police matter and sent someone out I'd say you were definitely not being unreasonable.

CornedBeef451 · 26/04/2025 18:43

I think that was a hit and run if he was just going to drive off after driving over a child’s foot!

In that case I think I might have called the police, your DH is being pathetic. Someone drove over your child, it’s a big ducking deal!

KeyWorker · 26/04/2025 18:43

He ran over a child foot and made out like he did nothing/ wouldn’t cooperate. I think ringing the police on 999 or 101is perfectly appropriate and the fact they attended immediately shows they do to.

I would be very disappointed with your DH. Is he not DD’s Dad?

CarolinaWren · 26/04/2025 18:43

Theroadt · 26/04/2025 18:24

I get the annoyance about no apology - still unsure from your description whether “mouthing off” is the aggression worthy of a 999 call. Why did you want his details? Sounds a bit like you’re sharking for an insurance claim, getting vengeful because the man brushed you off, or are generally a drama-lama or maybe a bit of all three. I think you and thd driver didn’t behave to your respective bests tbh. Sounds like you made a poor situation far worse for your daughter.

I agree with the OP’s DH and I can also see the other driver’s POV. While everyone needs to drive carefully in a crowded parking lot, it’s primarily the parents’ responsibility to ensure that their children’s safety around moving cars. It sounds like OP’s child was standing unsupervised between the cars and scraped her foot/ankle against something, probably the other car, but it’s highly unlikely that she was actually hit or run over. And, if someone in a parking space next to my car started screaming and demanding my insurance details, insisting I’d “run over” their child, when I knew I hadn’t, I’d definitely think they were a scammer planning to submit a fake insurance claim.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:42

Parker231 · 26/04/2025 18:41

What did you want his details for?

Why would you not?

ThisWOMANWontWheesht · 26/04/2025 18:42

Bemused by the “You should’ve just taken his reg” and “When he started giving his details you should’ve have ended the call to the police” posts…
Who do you think she needs to give these details to? Couldn’t possibly be the police, could it??

The dispatcher said OP was right to phone. Bizarre that people who weren’t there and don’t work in emergency services think they know better.

WearyAuldWumman · 26/04/2025 18:41

Donttellempike · 26/04/2025 18:38

On the fence about this, but if you have the drivers license plate you have their details. Insurers have databases of names and addresses against all number plates

The bloke sounded like a complete arse, but maybe the non emergency umber would have been preferable. That said, why on earth did he not wait until your daughter was in the car?? I’d have been furious too

Unfortunately, our local community page has had a few incidents where it's turned out that a vehicle involved in an accident has been stolen. The only time that I can recall the miscreants being caught straight away was when a carful of teenagers ploughed into a line of parked cars.

Parker231 · 26/04/2025 18:41

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:27

This is all very interesting and food for thought! The dispatcher said it was very much a police matter and they were there in minutes. I’m not sure what calling a non emergency would achieve where I had an injured child and the other driver refusing to provide details?

What did you want his details for?

YouBelongWithMe · 26/04/2025 18:40

Haven't read the full thread yet, but my mum reversed over my foot when I was about 12.

It took off the too layer of skin and was a bit swollen. Four days later my grandparents insisted I went to A&E and it was broken in two places.

Please get her x-rayed.

LuluDelulu · 26/04/2025 18:40

Ridiculous that some people are minimising this. The main thing too is that you didn’t KNOW she didn’t have broken bones etc at this point!

ShortyShorts · 26/04/2025 18:40

HollyBerryz · 26/04/2025 18:35

I don't think you were unreasonable. Surely 999 wouldn't dispatch anyone if they didn't think it was necessary?

They were probably unaware the OP didn't need them anymore as he was giving his details, the second she started speaking to them.

CampanulaMila · 26/04/2025 18:40

BoundaryGirl3939 · 26/04/2025 17:55

Your daughter was fine in the end. You may have come across as aggressive if you were demanding his details without him even being aware something had happened. I would have approached him differently and taken his reg details should he have chosen not to cooperate.

Insane attitude to take about a man who carelessly ran over a child’s foot and is very lucky the child’s injury wasn’t worse! Are you the driver?

Naepalz · 26/04/2025 18:39

Sodthesystem · 26/04/2025 18:02

I don't see why you'd call the police unless it was deliberate.

Reads like the shit they do in the USA when they're trying to get a claim in.

Why would details be required. I mean he should have been apologetic and offer to go get a bandaid maybe but I wouldn't give some rando my details either. For all he knows you could be some vengeful psycho.

I can't phathom calling the police over something accidental. A minor one at that.

The law states that you have to advise the police if someone is injured by a car. Doesn't matter if it was "deliberate". Otherwise it is a hit and run which is a serious offence!
As the driver who has hurt someone, you are expected to both advise the police of an accident and give your details if asked, or provide them to police within 24 hours.