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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it was not an overreaction to call the police?

589 replies

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 17:12

We were out today at a family event. We were parked up in the car park of the venue and were getting in our cars to travel home. There was a man parked next to us in the (relatively narrow) bays, window down, chatting to his girlfriend. He was there when we came out and approached our car.

DD age 8 was getting into the back passenger side of our car, so on the same side as his car. I was on the other/driver’s side. As I was getting in, I heard DD start to scream. Basically the man next to us had started to move his car forward and his back wheel had run over the back of her ankle/foot.

I immediately ran round the back of the car, picked her up, helped her into the back seat and took her shoe and sock off to have a look. The top layer of skin had come off and it looked bruised so I went round to his car, said sorry, I think you have hurt her so I am going to need your details.

He and his girlfriend then said ‘Why? I haven’t done anything wrong’. I asked if he was refusing and he said he ‘didn’t even know what happened’ and started mouthing off.

So, I called 999 and of course the second he heard I was on the phone to the police, he started offering his details.

Two police cars then attended. DH is furious with me and says I completely overreacted as DD’s injury was minor (scrapes and bruises) and I ‘see the worst in everyone’. I am very upset about his lack of support when our child was hurt and upset.

FWIW I would never move my own car when a child was down the side and if I had ever done anything like this I certainly wouldn’t be mouthing off at the parent of the injured child!

So, was it an overreaction to call the police?

OP posts:
BetterWithPockets · 26/04/2025 20:58

RinkyDinkDrink · 26/04/2025 20:57

Nope, depends on a few things, size of her foot and the ground underneath etc. I have personal experience in the foot versus car stakes and also personal experience in not making pronouncements about things I clearly know nothing about.

Well, hurrah for you!

C36M · 26/04/2025 20:58

kierenthecommunity · 26/04/2025 20:47

Why wasn’t the man paying attention?

She ran from one car to another, it probably surprised the driver too. Her parents are responsible for getting their child into the car safely. The child has a scratch and the parent was more concerned about getting the drivers details for some compensation, than she was about consoling the child

BetterWithPockets · 26/04/2025 20:57

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 20:52

I was knocked down by a car quite violently as a child but I walked away with a bruised leg. are you saying the severity of the injury is important rather than the offence ? What do you consider is the line of it’s trivial to being serious?

Edited

I’m agreeing with a PP who said the DD’s foot wasn’t run over. Nowhere have I commented on anything other than that — but don’t let that stop you!

RinkyDinkDrink · 26/04/2025 20:57

BetterWithPockets · 26/04/2025 20:49

This!

Nope, depends on a few things, size of her foot and the ground underneath etc. I have personal experience in the foot versus car stakes and also personal experience in not making pronouncements about things I clearly know nothing about.

cryingandshaking · 26/04/2025 20:56

I’m surprised so many people are telling you off for ringing 999 rather than the non-emergency police number. Presumably if it were felt to be inappropriate, then you would have been told this by the call handler, or the police officers who attended, rather than needing to be educated by us lot on MN.

I hope your daughter is ok.

Eggtoastie · 26/04/2025 20:56

Op only called the police when he was "mouthing off" at her, she asked for his details initially. If he'd just offered them he would have had a different outcome.

C36M · 26/04/2025 20:56

kierenthecommunity · 26/04/2025 20:47

Why wasn’t the man paying attention?

She ran from one car to another, it probably surprised the driver too. Her parents are responsible for getting their child into the car safely. The child has a scratch and the parent was more concerned about getting the drivers details for some compensation, than she was about consoling the child

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 20:56

itsgettingweird · 26/04/2025 20:52

Then the man hadn't driven off!!!!

I think the OP was shocked by her DDs screams as we all would have been and angry at the driver and feeling some guilt for the accident (we have a tendency to feel that if our kids are hurt) and that led to the police call.

The added extras we keep getting are her convincing herself she was right. I don’t think it required a 999 call saying child has be run over in a car park. Or rather of my child was hit by a car I wouldn’t be worrying about anything other then my child.

And I do t think most people are either - never why local FB is always asking for witnesses after the fact because people dealt with the injury - no the person causing it 🤷‍♀️

He was refusing to give his details which would indicate he wasn’t going to hang around.

are you honestly saying that if someone violently assaulted your child, you would not be even remotely bothered about catching the perpetrator there and then? You wouldn’t be screaming at anyone to catch the person?

Weekmindedfool · 26/04/2025 20:54

999 is for emergencies. No aspect of this is an emergency. It’s that simple.

itsgettingweird · 26/04/2025 20:54

RinkyDinkDrink · 26/04/2025 20:44

Are you completely callous in your daily life as well? Or do you save it for people on here who’ve had a traumatic incident? Just curious.

Also, little science lesson, it depends on the surface underneath the foot as well.

Clearly you’re not just being callous, you’re actually purposely trying to distress her. Nasty.

Edited

No im not callous.

Thats why id have been thinking about my child not about the driver. 🤷‍♀️

HidingFromDD · 26/04/2025 20:53

This time there was no significant injury but based on his response, in no way did it seem like he’d realised he’d done something awful. Next time it may have been a smaller child and he may have hit harder. Hopefully the police will have made him realise the gravity of what he’s done and he will think and be a lot more careful next time. I think you were absolutely right to call 999 and hopefully will have stopped him doing it again.

I know all parents should have eyes on the child 24/7 and especially in a car park, but this was an 8 year old walking in front of a parked car. It’s not unreasonable to think that a driver looking forward might actually have checked to see if anyone was walking in front of/very close to the car before they actually decide to move!

itsgettingweird · 26/04/2025 20:52

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 20:43

she did deal with her daughter before she called the police.

Then the man hadn't driven off!!!!

I think the OP was shocked by her DDs screams as we all would have been and angry at the driver and feeling some guilt for the accident (we have a tendency to feel that if our kids are hurt) and that led to the police call.

The added extras we keep getting are her convincing herself she was right. I don’t think it required a 999 call saying child has be run over in a car park. Or rather of my child was hit by a car I wouldn’t be worrying about anything other then my child.

And I do t think most people are either - never why local FB is always asking for witnesses after the fact because people dealt with the injury - no the person causing it 🤷‍♀️

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 20:52

BetterWithPockets · 26/04/2025 20:49

This!

I was knocked down by a car quite violently as a child but I walked away with a bruised leg. are you saying the severity of the injury is important rather than the offence ? What do you consider is the line of it’s trivial to being serious?

EmeraldRoulette · 26/04/2025 20:51

JustLikeThatBluebird · 26/04/2025 19:55

This is such a weird thread. Of course you did the right thing OP and the police even confirmed as such. I hope your DD is ok.

This

also his weird "not realising" suggests drunk or stoned or impaired somehow

kierenthecommunity · 26/04/2025 20:50

Sherararara · 26/04/2025 20:40

Ok, another police call operator then, tied up and delayed on response to a call from a woman being beaten by her partner. Is that better for you?

That’s not the OPs problem though. It’s the police’s job to provide enough resources, not a callers job to not call for help just in case there’s something worse happening.

It’s not like she called 999 to report her Uber hasn’t arrived or something that is a genuine piss take

BetterWithPockets · 26/04/2025 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This!

kierenthecommunity · 26/04/2025 20:47

C36M · 26/04/2025 20:26

Why weren’t you helping her into the car?

Why wasn’t the man paying attention?

PassingStranger · 26/04/2025 20:46

He wasn't concentrating was he. He should have also shown some concern.
Just ask him how he'd like his foot run over.

Timetochillnow · 26/04/2025 20:45

PhilomenaPunk · 26/04/2025 20:37

This. Why are so many posters minimising this? You did the right thing OP, and it might make him think twice before behaving aggressively to women in the future.

And your husband needs to wind his neck in. He wasn’t there. It was not his call. And the police being stretched is not your problem, you are not responsible for policing policy.

OH was present he and the poster were both in own cars parked either side of the other drivers car - child had exited OH’s car, walked in front of the other drivers car that OH was parked next to, and somehow then got to the rear passenger door of her mothers car which was parked on the other side of the other drivers car.
both parents were comfortable with their 8 yr old walking in front of a car which had its driver in.

RinkyDinkDrink · 26/04/2025 20:44

itsgettingweird · 26/04/2025 20:42

Your DD pulled her foot out from under the tyre of a stationary car?

Shes amazing OP. really amazing. As amazing as you for being able to ring police instead of dealing with your highly distressed DD.

There is absolutely no way if my child was screaming blue murder I’d a) have the where with all to remember the Highway Code or b) prioritise taking car and personal details and phoning the police.

That’s why I think YaBu. Not for contacting them but for prioritising that over your DDs distress and injury

Are you completely callous in your daily life as well? Or do you save it for people on here who’ve had a traumatic incident? Just curious.

Also, little science lesson, it depends on the surface underneath the foot as well.

Clearly you’re not just being callous, you’re actually purposely trying to distress her. Nasty.

CantStopMoving · 26/04/2025 20:43

itsgettingweird · 26/04/2025 20:42

Your DD pulled her foot out from under the tyre of a stationary car?

Shes amazing OP. really amazing. As amazing as you for being able to ring police instead of dealing with your highly distressed DD.

There is absolutely no way if my child was screaming blue murder I’d a) have the where with all to remember the Highway Code or b) prioritise taking car and personal details and phoning the police.

That’s why I think YaBu. Not for contacting them but for prioritising that over your DDs distress and injury

she did deal with her daughter before she called the police.

itsgettingweird · 26/04/2025 20:42

hottubwhocares · 26/04/2025 19:49

I’ve actually just seen the footage and it shows that she was very near his car (going round the side of the door which was ajar) and he did indeed run over her foot/ankle when he moved, which then becomes trapped under his car. As she screams he stops and she pulls/tugs her foot/ankle out - there is a sudden movement by her which I assume is what broke the skin.

It’s made my blood run cold. She could have been dragged under his car

Your DD pulled her foot out from under the tyre of a stationary car?

Shes amazing OP. really amazing. As amazing as you for being able to ring police instead of dealing with your highly distressed DD.

There is absolutely no way if my child was screaming blue murder I’d a) have the where with all to remember the Highway Code or b) prioritise taking car and personal details and phoning the police.

That’s why I think YaBu. Not for contacting them but for prioritising that over your DDs distress and injury

BakelikeBertha · 26/04/2025 20:40

All these people saying that they would have called the non emergency police, are, I think, forgetting that the OP would have been shocked, and scared for her daughter, then faced with a man who was aggressive and refusing to give his details, I think that in that state,I would have rung 999 too, and the police obviously didn't have a problem with it, as they came out quickly and the officer on the phone confirmed that the OP had done the right thing.

It's all very well being high handed about what YOU would have done, when you're sitting nice and comfy in your bed or arm chair, but I bet the vast majority of us in that situation, would not have been thinking calmly and rationally either. The OP just wanted to make sure that this man could be traced if her daughter proved to be really hurt.

Sherararara · 26/04/2025 20:40

notanothernamechange24 · 26/04/2025 20:04

They are completely separate call operators 🙄 you literally get directed to the appropriate call station. The police handlers are completely separate from the ambulance service and indeed the fire service!
so no ambulances would have been remotely impacted!

your being completely ridiculous!

Ok, another police call operator then, tied up and delayed on response to a call from a woman being beaten by her partner. Is that better for you?

PhilomenaPunk · 26/04/2025 20:37

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 26/04/2025 17:26

So he was driving without due care and attention, tried to leave the scene of an accident without supplying his details, then got aggressive when you asked for his details? I can certainly see why you felt 999 was appropriate.obviously the call handler also felt it was appropriate as you got an almost immediate response, it would have been given a much lower priority if they hadn't judged it appropriate.

This. Why are so many posters minimising this? You did the right thing OP, and it might make him think twice before behaving aggressively to women in the future.

And your husband needs to wind his neck in. He wasn’t there. It was not his call. And the police being stretched is not your problem, you are not responsible for policing policy.